I agree with Rkwok in that, I could have developed more areas of the story, like her parents reaction to her lesbian lifestyle and so on. Overall, for a first screenplay, I think it’s decent. If I had more […]

I think it works but I agree that I should leave out the word “rogue” as it may be redundant.

This was a refreshing screenplay to read given that it has a female lead and a strong emotional track, which I like in films. I really like the concept and can see it as movie, easily. It has a great plot and a […]

Your attention to structural details is spot on and you have a good backbone for a film. However, I found the story to be a little unoriginal. I feel like I’ve seen this before. As a woman, I also felt like this […]

It’s short and to the point but I’m a little confused about the power struggle. Maybe be a little more specific

Great longline, I agree with others, just shorten and simplify. Well done!

I think this is a really good logline. It’s clear what the story is about but I’m not sure who the main character is or what their goal is.

Great logline but how does the “forbid romance” intersect with the main characters goal? is it a challenge? It also needs to be shortened.

I think this is a great logline! Direct and to the point and I know what the story will be about. I’m just not sure if it’s an original idea.

I’m not sure if this would turn out to be funny…needs a bit more work.

It’s an interesting story but it needs to be shorter and add a little more mystery to it so it makes me wanna see it. How will this one be different from the original?

Great summary of the film, but I don’t see the goal of the main character/s or how they plan on surmounting the “tragedy” in the film. Needs to be a little more specific.

Great concept and I think this has great story potential, but it needs to be cleaned up a bit. The first sentence is a run on and the “increasing wild” is a bit vague. I think it can be reworded and tightened up a little.

It makes me want to read more but I’m not sure what his goal is, to face the nightmare? Also, I need more information to better understand the “nightmare” and the “ugly truth”. In other words, it’s too vague.

Ok, so his goal is to help special children, good start. But I want to know how are those children “special”? Are they psychic, disabled or mentally ill? Also, what challenges might he face? That’s what would make […]

I have no idea what this movie is about and I’m not so sure that the sentence is even grammatically correct.

Impressive logline. Just the right amount of information and I know exactly what your character’s goal is. I also know how he plans on reaching his goal and I can imagine the challenges he’ll have to face. Nice work!

Great start, however I believe the one sentence is too long. Perhaps find a way to break it into two sentences or reduce the words in the one you have. Another thing, what’s your main character’s goal? To stop […]

Great story idea and I like how specific your logline is about her goal in fighting back, but I’m not sure what the relationship has to do with her goal. Just a little clarification might help.

Wow, excellent logline! But is finding comfort her goal in your film? Perhaps you should touch on a that in your logline since that’s the only question that pops in my mind. Other than that, I’m impressed!