This has potential but I think some of what has been said below is valid. A little too long (maybe work some more to cut the fat). A little more originality with the characters… But, a lot of goog things too. […]

Very solid. Great execution. A pleasure to read.

I couldn’t get into this.

This was EXCEPTIONAL! A joy to read!!!

Thanks, man. I really appreciate that.

This has some interesting elements and solid characters but it’s way too dense. Too many characters. Too much going on. Figure out what the core story is and then take out everything that doesn’t setup or […]

This has potential but the characters and the story need to be fleshed out more.

I appreciate the positive feedback, Mel. Anything you think needs improvement? Maybe in terms of “concept”? Thanks for reading.

Having trouble dowloading. Can you send pdf to scottmperloff@gmail.com? Thanks.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

I read the logline and the story blossomed in my mind for a few seconds…I think this could be a great script.

Thanks for the feedback, Justin.

I never got pulled into this. I think the problem comes from a lack of consistency in character and tone. One minute Onu is relieved when his daughter gets shot with a tranquilizer gun and the next minute he […]

Thanks for reading Alex. I appreciate the feedback.

ward parry, you just made my night.

There were some impressive moments in this script but overall it is just too haphazard and confusing to work. The events of Tom’s life are thrown together without any apparent meaning behind them. I think the […]

Thank you for reading, Ward. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

My advice is to simplify everything. This script is way over written. There are too many characters. In my experience, I’ve found that readers cannot handle more than 7 major characters. After 7, they start to […]