• The story started out really strong, I really enjoyed it. It reminded me of Mean Girls. I felt that the second part of act 2 started to get a little convoluted with the Dr. Tom character.

    I agree with the […]

  • Let me start off saying I have been criticized on this site for given harsh reviews and not saying anything positive. So I will start with the positives and then give my opinions which I hope are taken the right […]

  • I think you exhibit some raw talent and have a creative imagination. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

    I enjoyed reading the script, if I hadn’t I would not have completed it. I […]

  • My first suggestion to the writer would be to get a screenwriting software like final draft or celtx(which is free and can be downloaded at http://www.celtx.com). The script obviously was not written with either of these […]

  • This was a very short script. Only 75 pages, I think you should have pushed it further and gone deeper into your characters. You could have easily written 95-100 pages, that being said…

    I like the concept […]

  • I found this an interesting read. It was well written with very few mistakes.

    They were a couple of things that I found distracting…

    Although I can understand what the writer was trying to do with the […]

  • jjcj3113 commented on the post, The Shyster 5 years, 3 months ago

    Although I’m not so much into mob realted scripts because they seem to have been done so many times, I thought this was a well written script.

    There were a few typo throughout the script but nothing major. […]

  • if you are going to be a writer you need to realize that what works for you doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.

    I just didn’t find demeaning women and making them sluts and sex objects appealing. I try to […]

  • jjcj3113 commented on the post, Spicasso 5 years, 4 months ago

    First off let me talk about some formatting issues…

    Your slug lines were all off, they should be formatted like this INT. PLACE – DAY not EXT. -DAY – PLACE… Almost every slug line was formatted wrong.
    You […]

  • JDror and jjcj3113 are now friends 5 years, 4 months ago

  • I don’t like giving bad reviews, but there are times that it is necessary.

    I don’t even know where to start on this one… So I’ll just sum it up in a few comments…

    I can’t imagine any female reading this […]

  • I found this a very hard script to read.  It was way too long and there were so many characters introduced so quickly, it was difficult to follow.  I wasn't even sure who the main character was.  

    I gave […]

  • I thought this script lacked in many ways.  Many/most of the scenes had little to no conflict in them and there were just talking heads. There was a real lack of drama to this piece.

     There were many […]


    This is an excellent example of a script that focuses on the journey of the main character. Justin.  The protagonist is clearly defined and pretty much drives every scene.  You see the main character […]

  • Cut… The story was way too long.  It read too much like a novel.  Although you write very well and I didn't see any errors with grammar it was just way too descriptive.  You need to make your reader/viewer an […]

  • I’ll have to admit, the dialog was so bad, it made the script funny. I don’t know if that was the authors intent or not.

  • I understand the concept of this script, but it just didn’t work for me. It wasn’t very believable and I can see 2 women or men running around New York City searching for a homeless man.

    I’m not even sure […]

  • Overall this was a very good script. Very engaging story. An easy and fast read. Good job with that.

    I think there are a few things that can be done it make it better:

    1. Get rid of all the camera […]

  • Poor Sarah (was that her name) lost in the void for all eternity. I guess when she sobered up she really freaked out! Talk about being in hell… LOL

    I liked the concept of the story and it started out really […]

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