• JCMercer and jfs15 are now friends 1 year, 10 months ago

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 10 months ago

    In reply to: jfs15 wrote a new post, The Bigger Story An awkward thirteen year old forms an unlikely friendship with a hot shot high school quarterback only to have that relationship tested when a member of the team is killed […] View

    Thanks for the notes, I always get a little lazy with that stuff. What did you think of the script?

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 10 months ago

    In reply to: jfs15 wrote a new post, The Bigger Story An awkward thirteen year old forms an unlikely friendship with a hot shot high school quarterback only to have that relationship tested when a member of the team is killed […] View

    Thanks for reading!

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    In reply to: admin wrote a new post, 2014 ScriptFest Winners Submissions are OPEN for our next contest… Submit Here! We’d like to congratulate all of the finalists, and thank all of the writers for submitting to our 2014 […] View

    And the prizes were what this year?

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    In reply to: noahgrossmanmedia wrote a new post, LEVELHEAD A realist superhero saves face and not much else. View

    Hard to tell much of anything from that logline, but I like the title!

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    In reply to: Impano wrote a new post, Romantic surgery After 5 years of marriage, the struggling couple, Bruce and Anna decided to exchange their sex organs by Surgery operation View

    As interesting as this sounds, it still needs to be put into a more colorful form. “A young couple surgically exchange sex organs to understand each other when love is not enough to save their marriage.”

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    In reply to: bajasarah wrote a new post, L.A .MIles In simmering Los Angeles DA J. Miles Lenny strives to bring justice to the Southland despite cunning criminals and double dealing colleagues and the fact that he has been […] View

    Not a bad start, but the logline seems to be missing a hook. What you have right now is a very good premise. You have to allude to whatever the twist is.

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: WilderCarnes wrote a new post, The Quiet Corner When an endearing family of cannibals run low on food they decide to use a snobbish family they accidentally kidnapped to get them back into regular society. View

    You may want to try to not explain the plot so much since you’re going for a high concept pitch. Just hit with something creative and clever. “A family of cannibals tries to upgrade their menu with high society entrées.” The previous comment is correct about substantiating a lack of food unless the population of the world has disappeared.

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    In reply to: jfs15 wrote a new post, The Bigger Story An awkward thirteen year old forms an unlikely friendship with a hot shot high school quarterback only to have that relationship tested when a member of the team is killed […] View

    An early version of “The bigger Story” was entered in every major contest last year and only made the quarterfinals once. This version which has been brought out this year is the result of countless revisions based on an enormous amount of feedback, and it is finally at the level it can be successful. Although I have had success as a screenwriter,…[Read more]

  • yusuphjr2 and jfs15 are now friends 2 years, 3 months ago

  • jfs15 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    In reply to: RicoJ27 wrote a new post, Bee Gone A cowardice teen bee who wishes to live beyond his hive must return to prove his innocence and dethrone the treacherous Queen in order to return Bee Central back to it’s former glory. View

    This script has many problems. The most obvious being that the characters have no life and the reader has no idea what they are like from their dialogue. The descriptions explain who they are and what they want to accomplish and that is not screenwriting. Aside from that the story is derivative and pulls many plot ideas from other scripts and…[Read more]

  • An awkward thirteen year old forms an unlikely friendship with a hot shot high school quarterback only to have that relationship tested when a member of the team is killed in a tragic accident.

  • jfs15 and admin are now friends 2 years, 4 months ago

  • jfs15 became a registered member 2 years, 4 months ago