Zebra Victor One More Images
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Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)

Zebra Victor One

In a post-apocalyptic world, one man drives across the country bringing justice to those responsible for causing the apocalypse.

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  1. Profile photo of Masterjeremybaker
    June 28, 2017, 8:10 pm
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    Right on!

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  2. TGVSpeed says
    August 17, 2014, 1:32 am
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    I enjoyed reading this script and would call it one of the more polished scripts I have read here. While this is out of my genre appeal, I am extremely excited about the writer and know he has a great future awaiting him in either film TV, or both. As with all things media, it’s about being in the right place at the right time and having someone notice.

    I have noticed. Others will too.

    Awesome.

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    • Profile photo of AdamRBradley
      August 17, 2014, 2:11 am

      Hi Marv,
      Thanks for reading, and thanks for enjoying! I’m working on getting this made, and fingers crossed we’ll shoot it next summer!
      Adam

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  3. March 27, 2014, 8:22 pm

    […] Zebra Victor One (Horror, Thriller) […]

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  4. tbarron says
    January 20, 2014, 12:39 am
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    You are a very talented writer. Either you write for a living or should. This reads as a very polished piece.

    Overall, I thought it was a very enjoyable quick read. And I loved some of your descriptions (e.g. answers for honey, melee, cuisinart–to name a few).

    Here are some comments, take them or leave them:
    1. The eyeball and finger munching felt a bit much/overly graphic, but I am not one for this genre, so maybe I am hyper-sensitive.
    2. The action sequences are very tightly written and vivid. You might think about compressing them a bit, to include more dialogue. For example, by around page 8 or 9, there are only two words of dialogue, and two full blown mutant scenes. Consider just one mutant scene and getting into the meat of the conflict.
    3. I’d personally like to see more backstory. I made a note that by page 47, the reader just learns that the primary goal is to kill the President of the U.S. This motivation could be developed earlier, as well as why the President is so guilty, versus making the best decision possible at the time. Consider even a brief montage to give the history of who/what/how/why in Act I. That would go a long way. And also, why does Meg want to go with Aaron? I few lines (especially of dialogue) here and there would be gigantic in gaining empathy from the reader (so I’m not suggesting huge changes, just a few would be extremely impactful).

    I hope that is helpful. Again, I’m not one for horror thrillers, so take my input with a grain of salt.
    Nice work.

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  5. Profile photo of kevinplewis
    January 19, 2014, 2:25 pm

    I thought the writing was basically solid. The action sequences were well paced and direct. There were a couple of proofing issues – double words. Extraordinarily violent and graphic, which would have been okay if I could have found any character worth caring about. What are Victors? Who was the guy who had trained the mutants? Was there a history between the two? The survivors created these Steads to hold off the environment and wandering throngs of mutants, to reclaim the world – yet they can be defeated by a toilet plunger and a pry bar?

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    • Profile photo of AdamRBradley
      January 19, 2014, 5:14 pm

      Hi Kevin,
      Thanks for your comment. I hate the thought of spelling mistakes and double words, so if you remember where they were, I’d love to know so that I can fix them.

      Obviously, I could re-read my own work, but I’m sure you know how it is: sometimes when you’ve written something, you see what you _wanted_ to write, not what you _did_ write, and therefore miss typos and mistakes like these.

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  6. mikeyz says
    December 12, 2013, 1:45 pm
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    Impressive little script Adam — I really liked it!

    Ordinarily, I’m not one for this sort of genre but all personal preferences aside, I thought your premise was sound and your action sequences highly entertaining and well laid-out indeed. From a technical standpoint — your formatting, grammar and overall writing style is indicative of someone who clearly knows how to write a screenplay and has been doing it for quite some time. Very professional-looking indeed.

    I thought your ending was intriguing and I enjoyed the small twist too. You had some pretty graphic sequences with the mutant killing scenes, the autopsy, and of course, the human feast scenes near the end. I’m not sure how audiences will take to these — my guess is that they will likely be ok with them given that it kind of comes with the territory here!

    Aaron and Meg had a great chemistry between them and I enjoyed their thrill ride right up to their suspensful journey to take out that government official dude whose name escapes me right now.

    The final showdown between Meg and the guards was good but the fight scene tended to drag out a little long in my opinion and the quirky sort of ‘off-the-cuff-type’ commentary from the combatants was a bit “overkill.” Sorry to nit-pick but I really felt this way as I was reading this scene.

    FYI, 2 scripts sort of come to mind on this site when I read this: Zero Day and LifeCredit — you may wish to check them out.

    BTW, I really found this scene a bit disturbing to say the least … Lol:

    “We now see that Aaron has cut a hole in James’ back and put
    his arm inside him as though James were a puppet. Aaron’s
    hand makes James “speak”.”

    Overall, a nice read!

    Best of luck to you Adam — I see you’ve already progressed to the Grand Prize round too so congrats!

    Mike.

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    • Profile photo of AdamRBradley
      December 13, 2013, 1:37 pm

      Hi Mike,

      Thanks for your feedback! I particularly admire the fact that you were able to look past the disturbing excesses of this kind of genre to appreciate the story behind it.

      The story was born out of my desire to write a Midnight Madness script – something fun, violent, and also smart and well-designed. But, mindful of the need to keep the gore-crowd happy, I wanted to make sure that there was some kind of gore happening every 10 pages or so. And so I tried to think of the things that would make ME squirm if I were to see them on the big screen – hence the ‘puppet’ scene. I think it’s really gross; but if it were directed with the right touch, could be gross in a fun way rather than genuinely disgusting.

      And don’t worry about nit-picking; I’m going to revisit the ‘off-the-cuff’ commentary during some of the fight scenes and see whether it’s all necessary (I feel like it’s an integral part of Meg’s character, but is inappropriate for the other characters.)

      Best,
      Adam

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