Wish You Were Here
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Rating: 3.6/5 (4 votes cast)

Wish You Were Here

Harvard hot shot Adam Getz undergoes a humbling transformation when he’s forced to move back in with his parents after his wealthy Wall Street employer is exposed as a Madoff-esque con artist.

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  1. Profile photo of cbead
    cbead says
    February 12, 2016, 9:38 am
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    Nice story. Some forced dialogue in parts. Good concept. Well done

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  2. Profile photo of cbaldwin1150
    November 14, 2013, 2:59 pm
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    I liked it although it isn’t my taste

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  3. fgross2006 says
    October 24, 2013, 9:24 pm
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    I just finished reading this wonderful screenplay. I think it was very well written, flows has great characterizations and kept me interested most of the time.

    I liked how the main character Adam went through the drastic change of being a snotty Harvard grad with the world at his fingertips to living with his parents and working as a balloon animal maker. I went from not liking the guy in the early pages to sympathetic to rooting for him to find happiness. That’s the key to good story telling, making the reader love (or hate) your characters.

    The younger brother character was well developed as well, acting superior to older brother, Harvard grad Adam because he has a web business selling junk. The contrast between Lyla and Vicki was great.

    One thing I didn’t like and think could easily be removed altogether is the first Flashback scene when the high school orchestra goes to a fancy hotel and sneaks out. I didn’t learn anything new about any of the characters and it brought the story to a halt until I got past that part.

    Dialog was great and never mechanical. All in all I liked it very much. Good luck with it.

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  4. Profile photo of jerseybob
    jerseybob says
    October 24, 2013, 8:05 pm
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    This is a very nicely written story. The characters are interesting and the subject matter is very relevant to what’s happening today. It has some very nice moments where people express their feelings toward each other. Someone once told me that sometimes you need to use less dialogue and more action. The pacing was slow and there were many instances where the characters sat and talked when some action would be more effective. The main character Adam loses his job before it starts. We see him getting the news on the phone. Having him report to work the first day and finding out then might help with the action. The way music is used to set the tone is nicely done. It will be a really good sound track. There is a story line that stars on pg. 87 where the main character is confronted by his former girlfriend’s father. I think this storyline should have a more prominent place in the story. If it started around pg. 60 it could make the third act much more exciting. Something else to explore would be when the main character gets involved in his roommates IPO. I was sad that he didn’t get the girl in the end. Overall I think you write well and are good at setting scenes and developing characters. There are several areas that would I would like to see be more developed. I hope this helps.

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