West Country Revenge
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Rating: 4.3/5 (2 votes cast)

West Country Revenge

Sometimes the sweetest revenge doesn’t give complete satisfaction.

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    1. October 29, 2016, 3:49 pm
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      Nice. Good job. The topic that queues will enjoy!

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      leeoconnor says
      October 23, 2014, 3:50 am

      In pre production.

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    3. SW63 says
      October 14, 2014, 6:27 pm
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      Tense – love that. Think it could be even more tense.

      Mostly tight dialogue – except “suffering and helpless” (end of page 2) is a bit superfluous unless he uses it to draw a comparison with Briege.

      Characters a little two-dimensional. Aiden I get, but the prisoner doesn’t do anything. I know he’s tied-up but that does mean he has to be passive. He’s fighting for his life (or manhood at least!). He would beg or cry or plead his innocence. Maybe try to bargain with Aiden? Bribe him?

      Briege – what happened to her? A flashback shot of her lifeless corpse would reveal how despicable the prisoner was (if he actually killed her. You see – not sure and I want to know!) Another ide might be the police telling Aiden about her death?

      Aiden cries because he’s obviously upset. If that was me I would rage and hurl things around, punch the prisoner (no Geneva Convention here!) This could ramp up the tension. Aiden in his face – almost mad with rage – calling him scum, evil, spitting hatred at him?

      What about a flashback of Briege saying she’s pregnant? Aiden happier than he’s ever been and had all that ripped away.

      I don’t see the Cotswold connection.

      Well written, low-budget but high production value.

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        leeoconnor says
        October 14, 2014, 6:34 pm

        Hi simon,

        Again thanks for the read and comments.

        This is merely a teaser for the feature I am writing. The initial purpose of me posting this short script was to get feedback and inspiration from other writers, it has been a little while since I posted this and the script is well underway.

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