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Rating: 3.1/5 (4 votes cast)

Time and Space

The aliens are back after 65 million years to harvest Earth once more, and our only hope is a policewoman who is a terrible shot. A love story, and the first movie in 4D. (Script Revision: October 4, 2012)

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  1. Profile photo of L.D.Pinson
    L.D.Pinson says
    January 9, 2016, 5:56 pm
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    This could be intriguing with the right actors and actresses!

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  2. Profile photo of normanwilliam
    October 24, 2012, 6:25 am
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    OMG THis script is so funny!!! I recommend all to read it but don’t take it seriously otherwise you’ll score it low.

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      Lidless says
      October 24, 2012, 7:33 am

      Norman William for President. A wise man, a natural leader. Someone who should be listened to.

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    bsouls4 says
    October 22, 2012, 4:05 pm
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    I think the script has potential, but it’s not quite there yet. Some of the jokes hit really well, but the ones that miss seem to miss big. There’s also some jokes that work, but seem to go on for too long and kind of ruin the joke. If you do the same joke more than 3 times, it usually starts to flop.

    I didn’t think the whole “I’m not French” thing worked that well. I get that the stereotype is that the French surrender, but this joke just didn’t land for me and it was used so often.

    Also, the whole beginning scene really had nothing to do with the story and it took up 15 pages before we get to the main characters. It’s a very long explanation that could be explained with a couple lines of dialogue by the grandmother. I mean, none of that beginning part has anything to do with the story except to show why the families are fighting. But the audience doesn’t even need to know why they are fighting, they just need to know that they are fighting. The Grandmother could just say, “Are families have been fighting for so long that no one even remembers why,” and it would work just as well as that 15 page opening.

    There was a couple formatting errors, like the font seemed really big so I copied and pasted a line into word and it said it was font size 16. It should be 12. Also, there was a lot of spaces in between lines of dialogue, which I’ve never seen before. I don’t know if that would actually effect your script being read or not, but I thought I would mention it.

    There were some very funny moments, and it had some jokes that I could see in a Mel Brooks movie. It definitely has potential, it just has to be cleaned up a bit. I read your reply to the other commenter and I know you wanted to avoid Hollywood cliches, but some of the cliches that you are trying to avoid have been made fun of in past films and TV that your writing into new cliches. Like with the horse chase being like a car chase, it’s been done in a million different cartoons, maybe not always with horses, but with things that obviously wouldn’t explode. And bomb cliches have been made fun of plenty of times. Which reminds me, the apple coming down from space to destroy it isn’t very good. I know it fits in with how them throwing apples changed history, which was one of the jokes I liked, but might have went on a little too long, but the apple would definitely have burned up in the atmosphere. And I know it’s a spoof and your supposed to suspend your disbelief, but I don’t believe an astronaut would just throw his trash out into space like that. And the hotel customer running around in the towel didn’t work for me either.

    I had a little trouble deciding whether to give this script a 2 or 3 star overall rating. I went with the 3 star rating for the potential and as I mentioned before, some of the jokes that landed where really funny and had me laughing.

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    • Profile photo of Lidless
      Lidless says
      October 24, 2012, 5:51 am

      Dear bsouls4,

      Can I call you bsouls? I get the impression it’s somewhat informal here. Thanks for taking the time to review TAS.

      As to the font size, I’ve used Courier 12 in the upload, so I’m not sure where the problem is coming from.

      As to some repeated jokes, this was successfully used in Airplane! (A hospital? What is it?) and can become somewhat of a catch phrase. In fact a variant of that exact joke is used in the interrogation cell as a homage.

      The repeated French joke is deliberate, because it sets up its surprise deconstruction in its last use.

      As for the apple falling from the spaceship, well, yes of course its nonsense, but it gets the viewer wondering what the hell is going to happen. Whatever it is, it’s going to be big. Suspense, followed by pay off. For the audience who have worked it out, they feel superior. Standard trick – you’re cleverer than the scriptwriter because you’ve figured it out ahead of time.

      As for the long prologue, this has several reasons.

      1 It sets up that Jack and Jill are destined to be with each other
      2 It gives a sense of scale as opposed to a small story
      3 It allows a large swath of cliches to be used quickly, setting up the audience for the kind of film it is.
      4 After 15 minutes, who you think is the lead is killed (Janet Leigh, Psycho?). Now the audience realises that if the movie does that, everything is up for grabs and the standard formulatic movie rules refreshingly do not apply.

      There are occasions where the main lead doesn’t appear until way into the movie or book. The classic example is From Russia With Love, where James Bond does not appear in the book until about a third of the way in, and doesn’t appear in the movie until about 20 minutes in.

      Of course some jokes will work for some and not others. That’s what makes horse races.

      Speaking of the horse chase as a car chase, there are all sorts of homages in it for the movie buffs. The four green beetles is a reference to the green-colored VW Beetle that is seen four times in Bullitt! Also, the horse chase just gets sillier and sillier, culminating in a wagon beeping as it reverses (in 945 AD!) and the slide under it.

      But at the end of the day, if I have to explain a joke, then it wasn’t a good one, so I take your point. I just wanted you to see where I was coming from.

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  4. September 14, 2012, 7:15 pm
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    This script was hard to understand especially the beginning with all the time changes and the thing with the apple… I didn't really get it.  I'm not sure if the writer is aware of this or if it was done for comic reasons, but the Eiffel tower was not around in the 900AD time frame.  

    I did get some laughs out of this script just because of the absurdity of it.  Was that the intent?

    i don't think an apple flying through space would make it to earth.  The whole idea of an apple falling from space and destroying a bomb was absurd.  

    The dialogue was really bad and unnatural.  On the nose.  There were a lot of grammar errors and typo throughout the script.  

    The characters were not developed and very well.  There was no character arch.

    There were lots of issues with formatting and very little subtext in the script.

    I didn't get the Charlie Sheen stuff, but did laugh and roll my eyes with the Paltrow reference at the end.

     

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    • Profile photo of Lidless
      Lidless says
      September 14, 2012, 9:29 pm

      Thanks for your reply.  The theme of the script is taking the mickey out of Hollywood cliches, for example the Eiffel Tower being able to be seen out of every window in Paris, even if it is 900AD, the subsequent horse chase filmed like a car chase, ridiculously quick phone calls, the bomb cliches and so on.  Yes, it is absurd for that very reason.  The apple and orange segment is an example of stretching the absurdity and gives the grand scope of the feud – they have inadvertently shaped much of human history.

       

      There are over 20 movies referenced in the screenplay as well.  Perhaps a better description is a Scary Movie version of Aliens, so apologies if you didn't read it in that light.

       

      As to character arcs, I think Jill, the hero, has one, as does Jack, but each to their own.

       

      I also believe (or is it hope?) that the average cinema goer will have no problem with the different periods of history, and if you didn't get the Charlie Sheen moments, well, I can't help you there.

       

      Although I disagree with just about everything you have written, I am glad you took the time to review it.  Of course it requires tweaking and changes, I just don't think you've hit any of them.

       

       

       

       

       

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      • Profile photo of Lidless
        Lidless says
        September 14, 2012, 9:32 pm

        Also, I should have mentioned I wanted to write a satire on Hollywood movies that did not contain a single fart joke nor anything scatological.  'Tis a rare thing these days.

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        • Profile photo of Lidless
          Lidless says
          September 14, 2012, 10:35 pm

          Woah.  I received only one star for grammar?  You're probably right.  I shall send a letter immediately to Cambridge University, England, requesting a refund on the monies spent on my scholarship whilst I was there.  It was obviously a waste of time.

           

          Interesting fact.  You can actually see the Eiffel Tower if you are in Cambridge.  You need theInternet o do it, but it's possible.

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          • Profile photo of Lidless
            Lidless says
            September 14, 2012, 10:36 pm

            …and just to clarify, the last sentence was satire.

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