Through The Wire
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Rating: 3.9/5 (17 votes cast)

Through The Wire

An unhappy wife wants to prove her husband is cheating. She hires a temptress to wear a wire and catch him being unfaithful, but what she hears through the wire is worse than she could have ever imagined. Not only is he a cheater, but he is a murderer.

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    1. Profile photo of dogma109
      dogma109 says
      September 27, 2016, 7:47 pm
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      Good hook. Nice logline. Great job.

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    2. Profile photo of BasiliaHestecza
      December 10, 2015, 1:51 pm
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      Hmmm….interesting

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    3. cla777 says
      January 8, 2015, 12:03 am

      Sounds good!

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    4. manyous says
      January 2, 2015, 10:59 am
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      Interesting and definitely will serve as a great thriller :) I can expect lots of twists with this script

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    5. cla777 says
      November 22, 2014, 7:04 pm
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      Fantastic thriller! I can’t wait to see the movie!

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    6. Profile photo of Keysieboy
      Keysieboy says
      November 6, 2014, 5:21 am
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      Lovely idea simple but intriguing love to read the overall script.

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    7. SW63 says
      October 17, 2014, 8:36 pm
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      Overall very good – BUT there is one glaring problem that I can’t see around: Why would this man confess to being a murderer on a first date?

      Chidi has a good idea which may be more workable: He doesn’t confess but the temptress is found murdered and the more the wife delves, the more danger she is in.

      The next problem is: if she is unhappy and learns this, wouldn’t she go to the police?
      There has to be a reason to stop her from doing this. Maybe her husband is a policeman?

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    8. Profile photo of marsed.harizi
      October 14, 2014, 3:42 am
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      Good luck!!!

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    9. Profile photo of cynnewton
      cynnewton says
      October 8, 2014, 3:57 pm
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      You could write a short logline to encompass everything.The idea is great,though.

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    10. tinisha says
      September 16, 2014, 3:20 pm
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      Okay I do love this, but one thing. I believe it would be even more powerful if you were to get this concept down to one sentence. And instead of “murderer” maybe “killer” or “serial killer.” Now you got my 100% full attention. Can you imagine? You did real good Kyleigh. Would love to read this script.

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    11. Profile photo of Glencoe64
      Glencoe64 says
      September 13, 2014, 8:37 pm
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      This has been done via TV, film featuring mostly B-movie-ish actors. You may want to consider re-working this and adding a new twist on this, or at least a hook that would make it more marketable.

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    12. Chidi says
      September 10, 2014, 8:38 pm
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      Loglines are written to hook, and not tell the whole story.

      NB: The below is not a standard, but just to give you a start.

      An unhappy wife hires a temptress to prove her husband’s infidelity, but when she finds the temptress dead a day after, she (say something, it’s your story), or become the next victim.

      I would change “unhappy” to something more poignant.

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    13. Profile photo of MovieBuffie
      September 9, 2014, 11:22 pm

      This is far from interesting as a film, however, with some modification it might work; the modification being a restructuring of the plot to not include the mention of the husband/boyfriend being a muderer.

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    14. Profile photo of Raffiki
      Raffiki says
      September 9, 2014, 11:16 pm

      I have to agree with DeeDee, it sounds like the B-movie Her Man, My Man. Not sure what the real hook is here.

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    15. Profile photo of DeeDee
      DeeDee says
      September 9, 2014, 11:12 pm
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      The films, Sleeping with the Enemy and Her Man, My Man come to mind. Pass.

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    16. Profile photo of
      says
      September 9, 2014, 8:17 pm
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      This sounds like a movie I would watch.

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    17. Profile photo of EaglesWings
      September 9, 2014, 5:55 pm
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      Sound interesting. Draws your attention wanting more information

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    18. Profile photo of LesaSmalls
      LesaSmalls says
      September 9, 2014, 4:09 pm
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      Original. Edgy. Sounds like a winner!

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    19. Profile photo of leeoconnor
      leeoconnor says
      September 9, 2014, 1:05 pm
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      Awesome!

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    20. Profile photo of raydavenport
      September 8, 2014, 11:50 pm
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      Now that sounds like a good god damn movie hands down, five stars all around! good job!
      wow I wish I have of thought of that!

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