The Transformation of Melanie
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Rating: 2.8/5 (12 votes cast)

The Transformation of Melanie

A tragic love story between a brilliant young Genetics professor, (the grandson of late Dr. Joseph Legmen, a Nazi concentration camp doctor) and the professor’s young female dwarf maid with whom he is attached to and his decision to transform her into a regular size woman, then falling in love with her, make her pregnant and both live a short, ill-fated love life.

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  1. Profile photo of JenniferKatherine
    November 17, 2016, 1:05 am
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    I am very drawn to this story for some reason. I think it would make a great screenplay/film. I agree with others who say to trim the logline down. Then I think you will get many interested industry professionals. Let us know how it goes!

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  2. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
    August 27, 2015, 1:45 pm
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    Logline is to long, but story could be intersting. I like freakish stories. I don’t know Dr. Joseph Legmen though, I do know Dr. Joseph Mengele. This all lets me think of the movie “The Boys from Brazil”.

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  3. Profile photo of Evand22
    Evand22 says
    August 13, 2015, 5:40 pm
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    Way too confusing logline IMO. Could be a interesting story though.

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  4. Profile photo of
    says
    January 9, 2015, 8:35 am
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    Logline is very convoluted and gives way too much info. My brain exploded just reading it. Simplify and streamline it, would be my advice. Concept is different and interesting.

    Good luck!

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  5. February 10, 2014, 11:55 pm
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    Sounds complex, try pacing the thought.

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  6. reinaldo says
    April 29, 2013, 12:54 pm

    this could surely be groundbreaking but work on a more subtle logline

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  7. Profile photo of Bubba
    Bubba says
    February 26, 2013, 12:29 pm
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    Woah there, this logline needs a breath. Too much info wrapped up in one sentence. Distorts the readers comprehension.

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  8. says
    February 22, 2013, 10:28 pm
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    Not really feeling this. To long for a logline and has alot going on, cant really keep up. Best of luck :)

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  9. December 3, 2012, 6:01 pm
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    Sounds very interesting, but there is too much bulk in the logline. If you take out the bit about the Doctor’s family ties and everything after his plan to turn her into a regular sized woman, this logline would be FAR mo re successful. After all, brevity is a big part about having a good logline.

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  10. Profile photo of nkarcher
    nkarcher says
    October 31, 2012, 7:50 pm
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    Intriguing story that could probably shape into a good movie.My problem with your logline is that it reads more like a summary of the story than a logine. A logline should be very much shorter and get to the one essential of the story by a captivating hook. Your logine lacked the hook to really grab me.

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  11. October 20, 2012, 2:50 am
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    A brilliant young Genetics professor, and his young female dwarf maid fall in love. But will it last.”

    Maybe something like that. IDK. Good luck on it.

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  12. rickemg says
    August 24, 2012, 9:06 am
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    It’s almost a synopsis rather than a logline. Your description of professor is a little much. This can be said with a few words within the logline. With that said, I do think that the story concept is good and the potential is great. Well done Jim.

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  13. wardparry says
    August 21, 2012, 2:00 pm
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    Great stuff going on in your head. I like all the elements, I just have no idea what your story is about. Get a clear conflict articulated, get rid of the “tragic love story” thing. Your reader will decide whether it’s tragic or not. WP

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  14. paul says
    August 21, 2012, 6:02 am

    The logline gives away far too much of the story! It sounds more like a very short synopsis instead of a logline. You’ve also told us so much in the logline that I’m not even interested in reading the script – it’s all been told in the logline. You have the beginning, middle and ending all in one logline.

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