The Shyster
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Rating: 3.1/5 (10 votes cast)

The Shyster

An orphan is taken in by a gang of Northeast Philadelphia criminals and grows up to lead them in a turf war with the Russian Mafia.

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  1. Profile photo of rbharland2013
    January 21, 2013, 8:40 am
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    Here’s my vote

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  2. Profile photo of bender000123
    December 21, 2012, 8:36 pm
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    heres my vote

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  3. Profile photo of bender000123
    December 20, 2012, 8:42 pm

    Having a hard time voting?

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  4. Profile photo of bender000123
    December 20, 2012, 8:40 pm

    Here’s my vote.

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  5. Profile photo of bender000123
    December 20, 2012, 8:15 pm

    Didn’t really get it. Good luck though.

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  6. Profile photo of Cubby-5056
    Cubby-5056 says
    December 17, 2012, 10:10 pm
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    Not really my thing. Keep plugging away though

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  7. Profile photo of
    says
    December 17, 2012, 5:16 pm
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    I found the beginning to be interesting but then the rest of it seemed all over the place. Confusing. I found there where too many characters especially near the end. It was complicated but not complex.

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  8. Profile photo of normanwilliam
    October 23, 2012, 4:53 am
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    You have a serious knack for dialogue that just snaps off the page!

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  9. gregorj says
    October 22, 2012, 8:50 pm
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    Excellent!

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  10. Profile photo of melroggins
    melroggins says
    October 9, 2012, 10:34 am
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    Terrific. Well put together. Dialogue crackles, formatting solid as a rock. Really pushes the read along. I rattled through this in a night. Good stuff.

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    • Profile photo of perloff
      perloff says
      October 9, 2012, 7:14 pm

      I appreciate the positive feedback, Mel. Anything you think needs improvement? Maybe in terms of “concept”? Thanks for reading.

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      • Profile photo of melroggins
        melroggins says
        October 9, 2012, 9:37 pm

        Not really without delving into preference. Which of course is always going to differ from reader to reader. I think you’ve got something strong here. I scored it lower on concept as I’m assuming the determination of that score is the originality of the narrative. In that regard whilst the writing felt fresh, it didn’t feel like I was reading a new perspective here. It felt very similar to Mamet’s American Buffalo.

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  11. September 21, 2012, 3:07 pm
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    You know I’m new here and didn’t read the script but the logline and title hooked me. I would go see this in a theater.

    Jerel

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  12. Profile photo of jjcj3113
    jjcj3113 says
    September 21, 2012, 9:58 am
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    Although I’m not so much into mob realted scripts because they seem to have been done so many times, I thought this was a well written script.

    There were a few typo throughout the script but nothing major. There were a couple of places I got a little lost because so much was going on with so many characters, but that may just have been me.

    At the bottom of page 46, I believe you have the wrong character speaking, it says Mickey, but I think it was suppose to be either Leo or Nick??? You might want to check that out.

    I think the dialogue was crisp and appropiate for the characters, I’m not sure everyone was always completely distinguishable, because there were so many of them then seem to sound a like at times. But that is just in reading the script.

    I would like to have seen Lana and Nick together at the end, but that might have been to predictable.

    I think the writer did an excellent job overall.

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  13. Profile photo of perloff
    perloff says
    September 19, 2012, 9:56 pm
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    I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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