The Rock Thrower
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Rating: 3.2/5 (4 votes cast)

The Rock Thrower

Drew throws rocks, extremely well, but is he ready to go beyond soda cans to fulfill his true calling?

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  1. February 10, 2014, 5:21 pm
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    Not a bad story but could use a few redirecting scenes, it was a bit too linear for my taste, overall a modern day adaptation of Tom Sawyer, nicely done.

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  2. ssabatino says
    January 3, 2014, 2:04 am
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    I was quite disappointed to have been misled by your logline. I thought this was going to be either some kind of sports story, or a fresh angle on a worn-out theme. As I read page one, which needs a rewrite, I was still hooked on the great expectation of a clever story – a story to interest an audience of people other than 14 year old boys. The silhouette of Drew is strangely captivating. A grown man, wearing a rock-filled fanny pack, who hurls his stone missiles with sharpshooter accuracy, taking out soda cans or small vermin, is not a buffoon. There’s depth to his character – even in a comedy (especially in a comedy). The audience is intrigued. Are we to pity him for being a 28 year old potato-peeling loser? Are we to like him, to root for him, because he’s endearing in his rock throwing? How can we invest in him if we don’t care about him? And we can’t care about him if we don’t know who he is. Sadly, for the audience, the lack of character development makes Drew insignificant.

    By page 22, I was through reading your script. I stayed on though to get to the sentence I had predicted would come: page 32, “You’d be making money throwing rocks!” You have many formatting issues, grammar misuses, and spelling errors. (Jineane is spelled Jeanine – unless the spelling of her name is pertinent to her character. Otherwise, it’s simply annoying to the reader.) Here are my suggestions: Rework page one. That key scene is the audience’s initial insight into your main character. Why do both Andrew and Drew miss the third shot? That has not gone unnoticed, and yet the question has gone unanswered. Here is a missed opportunity for a bit of back story, which would definitely help. I would cut much of the first 20 pages. They’re filler. You can whittle all that down to a page or two. We don’t need long scenes to tell us he works as an exterminator and has an accurate throwing arm. Your jokes are not funny, unless the audience is that group of young teens I mentioned earlier. If that is all you have, which it appears to be, then your script is in trouble, which it is. Remember, you had me at rock thrower, even if just for a page. That’s seed money, right there. Chuck the adolescent humor and go for the story of Drew.

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    • tfarnath says
      January 14, 2014, 1:40 am

      I’ve always been as open as can be when it comes to criticism. I never shy away from it and invite it from everyone, and anyone. I appreciate different points of view, but you sir, are a condescending twit.

      You’re constructive criticism would be appreciated if it wasn’t wrapped in smugness. Jineane is spelled that way because I knew someone growing up who spelled it that way. My spelling, grammar, and formatting are just fine.

      I’m sure everything is predictable to you, and when it’s not, you wouldn’t admit it anyway. I’ve wasted enough time on someone who only read to page 32.

      Reading only the first act of a script and writing a review shouldn’t be allowed in a contest such as this, but please don’t read more. For god sakes, do not read anymore.

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  3. aweiss says
    January 2, 2014, 11:57 pm
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    While I enjoyed reading the very good and very witty dialog, and the concept being an off-beat tale of finding a way of doing what you do best, for fun and money, I wish a little more had gone on in the plot. There were so many comings and goings that I found everything a bit hard to follow, and this was a straightforward journey from point A to B, with a wonderful ending. Make the whole plot as surprising, with the same clarity, and you’ll probably have the cult audience you want for this film. And beyond Drew, I really didn’t get a sense of the characters, but like the plot, the potential is there for them. Keep at this, you’ve got something here, it’s fresh, different, and absolutely original.

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  4. Profile photo of elena-pearl
    November 29, 2013, 8:28 am
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    This is a very interesting, original and feel good story with some great character development. The main character Drew is particularly strong as is his relationship with his friend Ed. I noticed and enjoyed the very detailed way in which the author described his characters, such as Ed with his food obsession or Banff’s dad who is dating young and attractive girls. Furthermore, I liked the general dialogue which was very subtle and funny.

    I generally preferred the first half of the screenplay than the second where some situations were too predictable however, the ending is quite unexpected. Overall, I really appreciated the main idea of the story: the pursuit of one’s passion. I am sure Steve Jobs would love this piece as it says to people “don’t be a follower, be a dreamer.”

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