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Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)

The Night Witches

During WW2 the Soviets formed a specialist air regiment and, with only biplanes at their disposal, they became the pilots the Germans feared most. They just happened to be women. Based on historical events.

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  1. November 26, 2016, 4:22 am

    I really liked the characters.

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  2. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
    April 1, 2015, 11:58 am
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    Ok folks – let me be brutaly honest (as a real Dutchman) – here is how it realy works in Hollywood (and everywhere else); a lot of scripts that tell almost the same story, are written in the same year, hey – even in the same month, just because the time was ‘right’. ‘Think’ inventions by multiple people in different parts of the world, (hundred of years ago) made in the same year. Especially in a time of “Give me the same thing, only different” IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

    In Hollywood they know that it’s not about ‘who’ was the first but who has ‘the most money’ and the most ‘productive’ production team – anyway. After the big studios made their 200.000.000 they don’t worry about losing their case against a talented small town writer in court, they settle for a fraction of the money they just made. But not really, because there’s only so much a (prodeo) advocate can do…

    And to get everybody realy happy on this forum, There’s ONLY copyright on a completed script/screenplay; not on a scriptlet, a step outline, an outline, a treatment a synopsis- and should I even start discussing a logline, oops — yes, there you have it!

    And also don’t trust those books that say – as a small town writer – you can make millions with only a briljant logline, if your name isn’t Spielberg, forget it — you can’t!! You’ve just read a book for nothing and made the writer even richer than he/she allready was.

    I enjoyed your (many times awarded) script Steven. Well written and perfectly formatted!

    I’m sure I’m going to see it on the big screen… soon!

    …. Ohh yes, there is only one ‘Gods word’ on script formatting and More – its Holy Bible is called “The Hollywood Standard”, and all talented American screen writers on this forum should know it by heart.

    To all –

    Yours Always,

    Rutger Oosterhoff

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    Lidless says
    March 31, 2015, 7:30 pm

    The screenplay just won it’s 13th competition – this time Best Action / Adventure Screenplay at the Las Vegas Screenplay Contest.

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    • Profile photo of raydavenport
      March 31, 2015, 8:36 pm

      That’s great Steven good job! But let me ask you, do you have any idea as to why your title: THE NIGHT WITCHES is on my list of material???

      If you type my name RAYMOND DAVENPORT in the search box and click, scroll down and click on number (3) as in page three, you will see your title in my list of material, any reason why?

      I contacted the people in charge of this website, I told them the problem on two occasions and your title still remain in my list of material.

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        Lidless says
        March 31, 2015, 8:46 pm

        The name search includes a list of reviews you have done, not just your own material.

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        • Profile photo of raydavenport
          March 31, 2015, 8:56 pm

          But it should not be on my list at all, it should be on your list. it’s like saying that the title THE NIGHT WITCHES belongs to me and it don’t. Reviews mean I am the reviewer and you are the feedback, I gave feedback on your title, I am not the reviewer.

          How come when you type my name in the search box your title is there and no one else’s but my material?

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  4. Profile photo of raydavenport
    March 22, 2015, 7:59 pm

    This screenplay is not mines! why is it on my page???

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    Lidless says
    March 21, 2015, 8:58 am

    TNW has won again at Worldfest Houston international Film Festival.

    This takes it to 12 wins, 4 second places and 28 other official selections / special awards. Thisis excluding semis and quarter-finals.

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  6. Profile photo of Lidless
    Lidless says
    February 28, 2015, 3:28 pm

    Just wanted to say that the script won its 11th screenplay competition yesterday at the International Film Festival Of World Cinema.

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    • Profile photo of raydavenport
      February 28, 2015, 7:35 pm

      Congrats Steven, keep winning them, I am not too far behind you!

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      Lidless says
      March 22, 2015, 6:27 am

      I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps people are working off an earlier version.

      The ‘We see’ etc, especially in the opening sequence, has been pared down to a minimum.

      Not a single action paragraph is over four lines long.

      The characters’ names are, and always have been, perfectly aligned.

      You do not now put CONTINUE at the top and bottom of each page on a spec script. Only a shooting script.

      ‘Action sentences are incomplete’. Well, this isn’t English essay writing. Such paragraphs are more poetry, supposed to invoke an atmosphere. So, “The click of a gun being cocked.” Though not grammatically correct, is ecomonical, evocative and correct for a screenplay. A screenplay is merely a list of actions, either physical or verbage.

      roknsrf has it right.

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      • Profile photo of raydavenport
        March 22, 2015, 10:28 am

        No offense to you Steven, your script is good, GREAT! I said that to ROKNSRF concerning my script, this is about ME AND MY SCRIPT, nothing against you my friend. But I do apologize for bring this discussion to your page, MY BAD!

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  7. roknsrf says
    February 17, 2015, 5:20 pm
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    I really enjoyed this script. I felt it was well done all the way around. The Montages were very well done and moved the story along nicely. The dialogue was good and the characters were well developed in my opinion. The story structure was laid out almost perfectly. Although I strongly disagree that one should always take the most economical path when it comes to action scene descriptions, (many classic scripts are filled with prose style writing. Afterall, as long as it can be seen or heard, right?) however, I do agree with Devildog in that the opening flight scene is not consistent with modern action verbiage, i.e. the use of “our,” tense etc. But truth be told, many scripts that have gone on to be blockbusters movies were not written following all the rules (have you ever read the Scarface script?) Nevertheless, it is not hard to see why your script has won awards, overall very well done, Bravo!. That said, there are opportunities for more proof reading corrections, and a word of caution… writing an adaptation of a novel is by definition very different from “non-fiction” screenwriting. Whenever you get into it with another writer over the merit of your work, it is wise (and equally wise for them) not to compare apples to oranges as it were. Aside from this review, I have written a novel that I would be very interested in having you take a shot at adapting. Let me know if your interested.

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      Lidless says
      February 17, 2015, 8:36 pm

      Very kind words, and I take your comments on board.

      It is very flattering to be asked to adapt someone else’s novel – it must be like leaving the baby with a babysitter for the first time. Alas my committments are such I couldn’t take on another project at the moment. But if I can find time at a later date, I would be more than happy to help.

      No one has ever asked me that before. Thank you.

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    • Profile photo of raydavenport
      March 21, 2015, 9:04 pm

      but ROKNSRF, he did not put the (CONTINUE) on the top and bottom of each page, the characters names are one space to far to the left, the description paragraphs are one or two lines too long, the action sentences are incomplete, and he often used the “WE” or “WE SEE” tenses with camera angles…

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      • roknsrf says
        March 22, 2015, 5:15 am

        Ray, your confusing my advice to you with Lee’s advice to you, but I will answer your questions however misguided. It is a fact that a spec script does not have to have the words continue appear at all, but if one chooses to put them in they must appear exactly as they do in my script. The word “continued” in all caps, inside of parenthesis. at the bottom right corner of the page, and then, in all caps, no parenthesis, with a colon, on the next page top left hand corner. Also there is to be a double space between the last line of any kind of script line and the line continued appears on. Now if you use Celtx like I do, it will do this for you automatically so you can’t possibly get it wrong. As for where on the page of this script the characters names appear, it is a product of the screenwriting software the writer is using, since he is clearly using an approved screenwriting software program, and since not all screenwriting software is the same, sometimes there are subtle differences in their appearance. Nonetheless, whichever screenwriting software one uses, the differences are consistent all the way through the entire script therefore producing a uniformity that is accepted by the Screenwriter’s Guild even though they deviate somewhat from each other. That is very, very different from using a NON-screenwriting software program, and leaving your script with a plethora of non uniform inconsistencies in nearly every rule of formatting as is the case with your script. Now, it is not encouraged in a spec script, but often times when it is absolutely integral to the storyline, you may see a spec writer add a transitional slugline or a specific shot description, such as FADE IN, CUT TO, CLOSE ON, or PAN OUT etc. However, whenever a spec writer does this they are always taking a chance of stepping on someone’s toes, especially an industry pro who hates when a spec writer takes such liberties because these sluglines are normally left up to the director/shooting script writer. Now, if you add them into your script correctly without any directional or formatting errors, and have a good knowledge of these other subtle differences, you can risk it. But, anyone who understands these subtle differences can easily tell that YOU DO NOT because your script goes far beyond what is prudent, and on top of that many of your transitions and camera shot sluglines are not written correctly. Likewise, to add “We” or “We see” etc. are also choices that must be made with equal delicacy as sluglines for the same reasons I have described above. Lastly, I don’t always agree with others when it comes to description and action scene paragraph length. For me it all comes down to the quality of the writing. A poor to fair writer needs to keep it as brief as possible, whereas a good writer can be a little more wordy, but great writers can write as long as they want because their words flow like honey and the readers of such writers just want to read more and more of the gold that flows from their pens. However, no matter how golden their words might be, their writing must still be free of grammatical, proof reading, and formatting errors. I hope I have cleared this up for you.

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        • Profile photo of raydavenport
          March 22, 2015, 10:24 am

          Yes you have a little bit and thanks for your response and again I do appreciate any and all advice or criticism as some may think I don’t and please DO NOT get the idea that I am being cruel and adversarial it’s just that I believe my script may not be perfect but it does follow basic formatting rules. Do all of us writers must be the same, I believe the way we write our scripts tells people little about us as writers and people. I know SPEC scripts must be a certain format to be accepted, but as long as it follows the very basics and guidelines of formatting, (because I believe that is the only thing I am being chastised about here) a writer should have the right to express his or her individuality in creativity.

          I compared my scripts with Steven Prowse’s script titled: THE NIGHT WITCHES, I am currently working a similar script titled: QUEEN BEE SQUADRON which is basically the same concept, female fighter pilots of World War 2 except THE NIGHT WITCHES are SOVIETS and the QUEEN BEES are AMERICANS (members of W.A.S.P and some were already disappeared or deceased). My message stated the only differences between my script and his scripts as far as formatting, his wording maybe different but I am trying to write a RAYMOND DAVENPORT SCRIPT, I DON’T want or trying NOT to write a STEVEN PROWSE SCRIPT, you see what I mean? Yes I use different words, yes I word my descriptions lines differently, yes my dialogue is unheard of, the script of PULP FICTION was that way and it won the academy award for best original screenplay.

          But be sure to take a look at my 1 PAGE script titled THE HOSTEL X as far as formatting is concerned because I wrote that script much later after BISCAYNE MOTEL, because of LEE O’CONNOR; I believe I have improved since then, thanks again for your WORDY advice and input LOL! it is greatly needed! I see what you mean about my characters dialogue consistencies and I will work on it but I don’t hang around a lot of Russians, Jamaicans, New York Italians or Racist Anarchist (for obvious reasons) so yeah my dialogue maybe off a little but it didn’t take away from the story.

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          • roknsrf says
            March 22, 2015, 9:12 pm

            Your right about that Ray, and that’s why I said in my review of Night at the Biscayne Motel that the concept and story are brilliant, and that is exactly why I have been so adamant on trying to get you to understand why it is so important for you to have it industry ready. It is a story that begs to be made, and that’s all I’m trying to do here is help you get it where it needs to be in order for it to get made.

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    Lidless says
    January 19, 2015, 3:37 pm

    I would ask people, Ithe script is consistently being marked as 3/5. Can one or more people explain where I’ve gone wrong? I deliberately made it sound slightly stilted and formal for the military types, and peppered the dialog with Russian phrases, but obviously that’s not working.

    Suggestions welcome.

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      says
      January 19, 2015, 5:42 pm

      What’s not working? How many screenplay contests have you won? You must have done something right. I personally like super tight dialog. To much dialog and I feel like I’m at a film festival.

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    says
    January 19, 2015, 2:49 pm
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    Excellent job, I can see this being made.

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  10. Profile photo of raydavenport
    January 14, 2015, 8:56 pm

    Yeah, very good Mr. Prowse, but I am looking to break that record with my QUEEN BEE SQUADRON title.

    I was just on your facebook page looking at all the awards and contest you have won, but let me ask you, was it expensive to enter into all of those contest?

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      Lidless says
      January 14, 2015, 9:35 pm

      Yes, of course, but well worth it. At present I’m batting above 50%, not that it’s any of your business. But I ask you, if you can’t contain your own script to less than 200 pages, then adapt it to a TV serial such as Bomber Girls. You really don’t have a choice. I cut *so* much out of the story of these pilots, for example that they would sleep on the wings of their planes in high winds to stop them toppling over, that they might wake up in Winter with their worn hats iced to the sides of the trench they just dug.

      So no, I reject your implied criticism. Either edit your script for the audience or change the audience. A 200 page drama from a complete unknown…just won’t…fly.

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      Lidless says
      January 14, 2015, 10:18 pm

      I guess what I saying is, if you cannot edit your 200-page fairy-tale to less than 120 pages, with all the pretend dialog and action, you need to either edit your imaginary story, submit all 200 pages to TV stations as a serial, or shut the fuck up here.

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        Lidless says
        January 15, 2015, 7:55 am

        My apologies. That was *way* too excessive.

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        • Profile photo of raydavenport
          January 15, 2015, 8:47 pm

          Now I must ask you, ARE YOU OKAY?!

          Just a little friendly competition here Mr. Prowse, nothing personal!
          I don’t recall DISRESPECTING you or your script, I am applauding you on your
          success, winning 10 screenplay contests in a row, to me that is a challenge.

          That is one of the reasons of me being here on this site, looking for a CHALLENGE,
          and Sir you have sure enough made my satisfaction. You see, I like all that dialogue you just ranted at me, it don’t bother me, it motivates me! That does nothing but tell me that I am a real writer and got somebody’s attention, so I forgive you and hope you win 10 more contests.

          At the present moment, have won none but looking forward to it, no one is in this game to lose. So I see you around Mr. Prowse and maybe one day in the future we can work on a screenplay together for SONY, PARAMOUNT, UNIVERSAL or whoever! Or better yet, maybe I will see you at the OSCARS!

          Good luck and God bless!

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            Lidless says
            January 19, 2015, 3:33 pm

            Once again, my deepest apologies, and thank you for being so kind in return. I really was quite drunk at the time – the writers’ curse.

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    a-dominick says
    January 14, 2015, 4:29 pm
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    Nice job!

    Am not a history buff but this was a riveting read! Great title, & I definately see this with the potential to be made — great roles for women & a true story to boot. I love how you are confident with visuals in certain portions and don’t rely on dialogue. The actions are punchy and effective/evocative — don’t bog down the read even w/running paragraphs of them.

    Don’t waver, & try to get it out there! :)

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    January 13, 2015, 9:21 am
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    This is unbelievable! 13 comments and 2,700 views and no one thought to rate this script?!
    Good Job Mr. Prowse, there may have been some grammar and dialogue errors but that did not take away from the storyline and the way you told the story and the action, well done.

    But may I make some suggestions, I don’t want to spoil the story for the next reader but your action lines have to be 3 or 4 line paragraphs, deep into the script they became too long, rearrange your slug lines where the establishing scene is the middle portion.

    As good as this script may be, I have to say that it is nothing like my title: QUEEN BEE SQUADRON, I’m not saying mines is better, just saying same concept but mines is more involved and longer, too bad I can’t compete with it, the judges will have a hell of a time judging both scripts.

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  13. Profile photo of raydavenport
    January 6, 2015, 9:15 pm

    There is nothing wrong, it’s just AMAZING how that we are two different persons in two different parts of the world came up with an idea with the exact same concept, that is so weird!

    And we both choose G.I.JANE as a reference! WOW THAT’S WEIRD!

    I haven’t finished reading your screenplay yet, but when I do I will rate it, so far so good, nothing like mines in action, storyline and dialogue but a lot of action.

    Your title is 122 pages long, my title: QUEEN BEE SQUADRON is nearing 200 pages, I might not be able to post it on this website, it’s too long.

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  14. Profile photo of raydavenport
    January 4, 2015, 8:07 pm

    OH MY GOD!!! YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT FEMALE FIGHTER PILOTS IN WW2 ALSO?!!!

    I have got to read this to see if it’s anytime like mines!

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    leeoconnor says
    January 3, 2015, 10:46 am

    Hi,

    Just from the first page I read I noticed a few errors.

    Your first paragraph reads awkwardly and should be changed.

    “The outline of the pilot of our biplane in front of us, in their own open cockpit, obscures some of the view”

    Firstly, your scene heeding is wrong, we are not in the sky, we are in an open cockpit so your slug should be –

    IN. COCKPIT – PLANE – NIGHT

    SUPER: “Soviet Union, Southern Front – August 1942”

    SUPER: “German-occupied territory”

    Why are there two supers? This is confusing, just make it a simple one line super.

    “With just under a mile to go suddenly the quiet engine falls silent and the propeller stops. The noise of wind whistling eerily against the wings’ bracing-wires, our own anxious breathing, that is all.”

    Your tenses are also wrong here, and you don’t need “that is all” at the end. Who’s anxiously breathing? Us or the character?

    Just simply-

    “Suddenly, the engines falls silent and the propellers stop – the wind WHISTLES against the wings bracing wires, Anxious heavy breathing”

    Something like that.

    There’s no urgency in your descriptions, I want to read on but it just doesn’t excite me.

    But not all is bad, some of this is written well, it just need work.

    I hope this help and good luck with this.

    Lee

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      Lidless says
      January 3, 2015, 12:42 pm

      Thanks, Lee.

      The first slug;ine has been updated accordingly. The reason for two supers was that I have had more than one com[plaint yjat all on one super is too much. I disagree, but wnt with it.

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        Lidless says
        January 5, 2015, 12:18 pm

        The first slug;ine has been updated accordingly. The reason for two supers was that I have had more than one complaint that all on one super is too much. I disagree, but went with it.

        That’s what I meant to say.

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      Lidless says
      January 4, 2015, 7:59 pm

      Actually a review of just one page isn’t particularly helpful, no.

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    leeoconnor says
    January 3, 2015, 10:44 am

    Hi,

    Just from the first page I read I noticed a few errors.

    Your first paragraph reads awkwardly and should be changed.

    “The outline of the pilot of our biplane in front of us, in their own open cockpit, obscures some of the view”

    Firstly, your scene heeding is wrong, we are not in the sky, we are in an open cockpit so your slug should be –

    IN. COCKPIT – PLANE – NIGHT

    SUPER: “Soviet Union, Southern Front – August 1942”

    SUPER: “German-occupied territory”

    Why are there two supers? This is confusing, just make it a simple one line super.

    “With just under a mile to go suddenly the quiet engine falls silent and the propeller stops. The noise of wind whistling eerily against the wings’ bracing-wires, our own anxious breathing, that is all.”

    Your tenses are also wrong here, and you don’t need “that is all at the end” Who’s anxiously breathing? Us or the character?

    Just simply the line could be –

    “Suddenly, the engines falls silent and the propellers stop – the wind WHISTLES against the wings bracing wires, Anxious heavy breathing”

    Something like that.

    There’s no urgency in your descriptions, I want to read on but it just doesn’t excite me.

    But not all is bad, some of this is written well, it just need work.

    I hope this help and good luck with this.

    Lee

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    Lidless says
    December 20, 2014, 2:55 pm

    TNW just won its tenth screenplay competition this year – Back In The Box Best Screenplay based on Factual Material. This now puts it as the number 1 script for Action / Adventure on MovieBytes.

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    • Profile photo of raydavenport
      January 4, 2015, 8:37 pm

      oh really? competitions in Russia? this is the first time me hearing about it, which screenplay contest did you enter? how long ago was this?

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        Lidless says
        January 5, 2015, 5:13 am

        Are you feeling OK?

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        • Profile photo of raydavenport
          January 5, 2015, 9:36 pm

          Depends, I am still reading your script titled NIGHT WITCHES, it is so weird that I found another writer I have never met before writing something almost the same thing I’m writing!

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            Lidless says
            January 6, 2015, 10:20 am

            Ray, I wouldn’t worry. In my screenplay, 90% of it actually happened – I’m more of an editor than a screenwriter.

            Yours is a (US) fantasy with a character that actually died four years earlier.

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