The Missing Sarge
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The Missing Sarge

It’s been three months since we’ve last heard from our Platoon Sergeant. His cryptic message still haunts my mind, “Won’t be back until after deployment date. Will be unreachable.” Deployment date was yesterday, and no one knows where he’s gone. How could a simple supply run go so awry?

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    1. Profile photo of
      says
      August 21, 2017, 10:50 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Personally, I’m against loglines ending with question marks. Also, while the story seems interesting, the logline itself could use a bit work. For instance, use fewer sentences and don’t use a dialogue piece. Work around it.

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