The Legion Of The Dead
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Rating: 3.3/5 (20 votes cast)

The Legion Of The Dead

Elderly farming couple hire down and out drifters to work their run-down farm and when work is done pay the workers off in ways they never expect.

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  1. Profile photo of jeffpier
    jeffpier says
    May 30, 2016, 7:54 pm
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    could be ok

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  2. Profile photo of WolfO
    WolfO says
    May 4, 2016, 1:47 am
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    The title promises more than the logline and the errors in it tripped me up

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  3. Profile photo of BruceD
    BruceD says
    July 5, 2015, 9:09 am
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    More details have to be revealed to hook the reader.

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  4. Profile photo of
    says
    September 9, 2014, 8:28 pm
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    This sounds like something I’d watch. But the line could be more engaging.

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  5. May 15, 2013, 12:03 pm
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    The log line as written could be for a spiritual movie. Based on the title, the log line is for a horror movie. You need to give us a taste of what’s to come in the log line.

    Suggestion: An elderly couple seek down and out drifters to work their hard scrabble farm. The drifters don’t realize how down and out they will become until pay day.

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  6. Profile photo of
    says
    April 21, 2013, 7:47 am
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    This feels like Children of the Corn meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre

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  7. Profile photo of halfbroke
    halfbroke says
    April 20, 2013, 11:25 pm
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    Very interesting logline. I love and must say I am hooked to read the script. Good Luck!!

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  8. mzmalone81 says
    January 11, 2013, 5:36 pm
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    i like it

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  9. December 14, 2012, 11:04 pm
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    I think this could be sufficiently creepy, but “in ways they never expect” might be a little vague. If there’s a specific method that would really creep us out, and it’s not giving away a twist ending, use it!

    Making the logline (in part) about one drifter it turns out really badly for, or who otherwise finds something out, might help focus.

    Also, maybe “lure” instead of “hire”. It’s a trap, isn’t it?

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  10. Profile photo of nkarcher
    nkarcher says
    November 13, 2012, 4:57 pm
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    Sounds like a good story in the making but the construction of the logline lacks some important ingredients. Antagonist? Conflict? Goals? Achievement?

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  11. Profile photo of Zero-Selon-Matthew-Olson
    November 7, 2012, 6:07 pm
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    Love the log line, but this title is in use.

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  12. Profile photo of alan
    alan says
    November 3, 2012, 10:44 am
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    That’s how to write a horror Log Line. It sound great.

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  13. Profile photo of chalkyc
    chalkyc says
    October 29, 2012, 2:07 pm
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    A clean logline. Maybe a little more flare could be added?

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  14. October 25, 2012, 1:32 am
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    The description nabbed me. I started thinking bad thoughts and I don’t even know if thats what is going to happen. Good logline.

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  15. joyhorror says
    October 19, 2012, 5:09 pm
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    Well done.

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  16. Profile photo of malakas
    malakas says
    September 29, 2012, 6:10 pm
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    I really like the premise…classic horror set up and everything. the logline just didn’t go far enough in setting the hook. As written the same logline could equally apply to horror, action, comedy, heck even skinemax lol! Add in just a ittle more of a teaser by being just a little more revealing (even a generic adjetive if keeping the plot in suspense is critical) and you will have a much stronger logline.

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  17. Profile photo of TheElite09
    TheElite09 says
    September 27, 2012, 11:49 pm
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    Sounds like a fun horror movie. Would definitely love to read this.

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  18. Profile photo of normanwilliam
    September 25, 2012, 2:14 am

    I’m sure I reviewed this already. But anyway. I think the concept you have is great but the logline needs a little more. You end with a wonder what that could be and that is a no no! You have to sell this story and to do that a producer wants to know everything in that one sentence. That’s what makes a logline so hard. Also you are focusing on the antagonist when the logline should focus on the hero. We need to see the possibility of change.

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  19. Profile photo of johnnymiller
    September 20, 2012, 6:58 pm

    A semi-hook but it doesn’t do anything for me per se but a logline has to have three parts. The protangonist and what is holding them back, usually the antagonist and what the hero is trying to do.

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  20. wardparry says
    September 20, 2012, 3:18 pm
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    Hard to know what this is ultimately about – It sounds almost like a tag line. Sounds creepy enough. I think you need to spell it out. WP

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  21. rickemg says
    September 20, 2012, 10:07 am
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    I’m intrigued. The concept is solid and the potential for an “A” movie is high I think. Good job Harry. I’ll give the monologue a read next.

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