The Journey to Mont Saint Michel More Images
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Rating: 2.9/5 (2 votes cast)

The Journey to Mont Saint Michel

A young American couple is on vacation in France, hoping to rekindle and save their crumbling marriage. On the trip they encounter a situation where they save a mute and sexually abused young woman and are led into a hopelessly entangled sex and murder case. Ironically, in the process of this trauma, they will learn how to reach for each other and regain their love.

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  1. Profile photo of davemann812
    May 25, 2012, 2:40 am
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    What I liked about the story is that it has culture and a rich vocabulary. Act 1 was easy to follow through and I almost thought the story was a comedy when the two main characters were oblivious to what was going on in Paris when they went. Each character appeared to have a distince voice of their own.

    What hampered the read for me was the pacing of the action & density of some of the scenes. The scene descriptions (mostly in act 2) were lengthy and very descriptive. Though they were well written, to me is best for novels as it slows the pace of the read. Another way of communicating my point is that if an action or decription is not relevant to the story, leave it out. Let the actors and the production companies making the script into a movie decide how and what is done. Additionally if the reader is told the air smells like sweet fruit, how do we know?

    I myself find it challenging to try and show information critical to moving a story along instead of stating it in dialog. Writing scripts is all about learning & rewriting. With my current project I have rewritten it 4 times because I was doing the exact samething that I am commenting on here. Live & learn and keep polishing and your story will shine.

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  2. May 23, 2012, 4:35 pm

    I like this. Logline is very good. thumbs up!

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  3. rickemg says
    May 18, 2012, 11:51 am
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    I thought that the story was OK. A few errors here and there like changing the character Tom’s name to Dan in scene 25. With all of the French in it, at times I was lost. I did enjoy it Gal and look forward to reading other material of yours.

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