The Dead Coins
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Rating: 3.2/5 (5 votes cast)

The Dead Coins

A death-rowed terrorist struggles to earn Presidential pardon by engaging in a grievous secret mission, to save American from a notorious terrorist leader. When the mission goes awry, her next move surprises even the devil.

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    1. October 16, 2017, 9:42 pm
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      Just a two minute example of how you might be able to better clarify what the protagonist is trying to complete.aa and what is the level of urgency associated with his goal.

      A terrorist on death row receives a presidential pardon in return for conducting a secret mission to assassinate a notorious fanatic threatening the United States. When the mission goes awry he must determine how to complete the mission before its too late.

      That will help to spice up the interest in the story and help remove any confusion. I think you were being literary when you mention the devil and not really meaning to include that Satan is part of the character lineup for the story. If not, remove it as it comes off as literal in nature.

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    2. Profile photo of Halling86
      Halling86 says
      January 19, 2016, 2:40 pm
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      Two of the same thing with terrorist and terrorist. Change one of them. Overall ok. Don´t get the thing with the devil.

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    3. Profile photo of damiz78
      damiz78 says
      January 17, 2016, 2:21 am
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      So, the devil makes an appearance. As in Satan himself?

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    4. pastortim says
      December 6, 2015, 12:07 am
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      It is a perfect script with a great hook and potentials.

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    5. JCMercer says
      December 5, 2015, 3:09 pm
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      I like the title. Logline is cool. Maybe ditch:” A death-rowed *TERRORIST*. that word shows up twice.

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      • pastortim says
        December 6, 2015, 4:11 pm

        I have removed one which was Bad Tax. I am the writer of the same job. But The Dead Coins is Bad Tax modified.

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