The Beast
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Rating: 2.6/5 (5 votes cast)

The Beast

The leader of a savage army only known as “The Beast” invades and terrorizes a kingdom, with a hidden agenda.

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  1. Profile photo of cristianfechete
    August 10, 2015, 5:41 pm
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    This is a “centaur script”. You know the centaurs… not men, nor horses. Your script is too long to be short and too short to be a feature. Making it a short, as you intend, is my take on it too. But there’s still work to be done. Good luck.

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    leeoconnor says
    August 29, 2014, 12:29 pm
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    I agree with some of the comments above. There are minor formatting issues here but I won’t repeat was already said.

    You can cut a lot of this script, in area it is too descriptive, just simplify it, remember its a screenplay not a novel. I understand setting a scene but make it simple.

    Hope this helps.

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  3. February 10, 2014, 7:43 pm
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    Proper formatting is crucial, double space after scene dialogue, you also failed to transition between scenes, ie Cut To: Fade To: These are minor errors that can be corrected, but can easily cause your script to be dismiss when venturing into sales…

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    TheElite09 says
    January 17, 2014, 1:47 pm
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    A decent script, but doesn’t do much to differentiate itself rom other gladiator type movies.

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  5. November 6, 2013, 2:52 pm

    Thanks for the input. This was supposed to be in the short screenplay contest, but I paid for the full one. So I kept it here for the feedback and to see what everyone says about it. Yeah I’m working on the grammer errors now, but will keep it as a short story. Thanks again for the input.

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    chrisliam says
    November 6, 2013, 12:55 pm
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    I liked the script but there are a few glaring issues. Issue number one is length. At 51 pages the run time would be extremely short but obviously easily rectifiable. The most bothersome issue to me is the climax of the story. There is an extreme amount of information uncovered i the last five minutes of the movie but there is simply not enough indication of the brothers existence to justify the “a-ha ending”. My advice would be to elude to the brothers existence before the last few pages. of the screenplay. It feels a little forced at this point. I think that the length issue and the information issue can be corrected at the same time. (Side note. There are a few grammatical issues that need evaluated in the future that would not be found with spell check. For example on page 19 the word “breathe” was used when writer intended “breath”).

    All in all it is an entertaining script but just doesn’t feel quite “done”. Good luck with this. I would enjoy seeing the end result.

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