Teaching Evil
User Rating:
VN:RO [1.9.17_1161]
Overall
Story Potential
Hook
Rating: 3.7/5 (39 votes cast)

Teaching Evil

An inspirational schoolteacher struggles with the temptation of revenge when the obnoxious son of his daughter’s killer joins his class.

43 Comments

Leave A Reply
  1. Profile photo of james341980
    March 14, 2017, 2:59 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    great idea, it has plenty of potential but I would like to know more about the characters

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  2. Chrisjay says
    January 6, 2015, 4:37 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    A well written logline. The only criticism is the picture confused me some what to the content of the logline unless this was on purpose.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  3. Dem-Nisbet says
    January 2, 2014, 10:30 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Great hook, might get lost between different types of movie if you are not careful – watch you stick to your guns, so to speak. The moral dilemma has to be always present in the narrative, and don’t make it overly dark – it’s not the Dark Knight, or even Cape Fear. I really like the word “obnoxious” in the logline, so don’t change it. Interesting work. Your photo of an attractive female teacher confused me, so it doesn’t really help readers, since we would be picturing a female schoolteacher.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  4. Profile photo of nichie04
    nichie04 says
    September 6, 2013, 9:29 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I prefer the revision, sounds a bit more sinister. Lots of potential.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  5. Profile photo of rewrite
    rewrite says
    August 23, 2013, 12:34 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    This is horror in style but not so a thriller film as you may choose, well the logline can be re edit if you care

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  6. belw says
    July 11, 2013, 8:21 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Logline is very clear, story sounds interesting

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  7. aweiss says
    July 11, 2013, 5:24 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    What i like about this is the realism of it, the very human emotions here. Nice work, much potential.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  8. scripted says
    June 29, 2013, 2:13 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Good idea and concept for educational series film

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  9. darney says
    June 24, 2013, 3:36 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Good idea, with great potential for a thriller movie. Not sure if “inspirational” is the right word to use. That suggests he is maybe helping the son, rather than thinking of killing him. But still a movie I would go and see.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  10. Profile photo of peersterk
    peersterk says
    May 30, 2013, 4:00 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    sounds like a movie i’d like to see.

    good luck
    peter

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  11. May 29, 2013, 6:37 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    if you’re going to use ‘Evil’ in your title – it should be ironic

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  12. TimAucoin says
    May 3, 2013, 7:58 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Best logline I’ve seen yet.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  13. Profile photo of derekauthor
    May 3, 2013, 5:04 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I Duncan, I really enjoyed BOTH of your loglines. If I were to chose between the two, I’d choose your revision. Seems to have much more conflict, plus it reads a bit better. Best of luck!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  14. Profile photo of Dick-C.
    Dick-C. says
    April 30, 2013, 7:15 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Chilling – but this baby sure has me hooked!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  15. Profile photo of kingcarisma
    April 21, 2013, 9:08 am

    sounds really intense, and emotional. I likes

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  16. Profile photo of Bubba
    Bubba says
    April 19, 2013, 4:28 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Wow.. this sounds pretty interesting.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  17. Profile photo of duncanjrh
    duncanjrh says
    April 7, 2013, 3:43 pm

    Here’s an updated version…

    Hopefully it’ll read with a little more clarity. Thanks for all your feedback

    With his daughter feared dead, a schoolteacher fights for truth and revenge when the son of the suspected killer enrols in his class.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  18. Profile photo of Rsutton
    Rsutton says
    April 6, 2013, 6:27 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Looks like a great idea, sounds really interesting. I would like to read it. I think there is a lot of plot and character development characteristics.
    Good luck.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  19. April 5, 2013, 2:57 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    The picture threw me off for a second. But, this LL is definitely intriguing. I love the idea behind this & the paths & possibilities this story can go on. Perfect elements for a thriller with a touching story. FORGOT RATING

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  20. April 5, 2013, 2:54 pm

    The picture threw me off for a second. But, this LL is definitely intriguing. I love the idea behind this & the paths & possibilities this story can go on. Perfect elements for a thriller with a touching story.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  21. April 4, 2013, 9:21 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    This is definitely interesting.

    Ron

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  22. says
    March 13, 2013, 9:15 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Different and intriguing. Would make a good read

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  23. Profile photo of Double-Bogey
    March 9, 2013, 4:40 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Very good premise, but I think the logline needs a little work.

    “A schoolteacher struggles between morality and revenge when the son of his daughter’s murderer enrolls in his class.”

    Is the script written?

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
    • Profile photo of duncanjrh
      duncanjrh says
      April 7, 2013, 3:39 pm

      Thanks for the feedback, I think yours is a definite improvement on my original (sometimes can’t see the wood for the trees haha).

      The resounding message seems to be that my logline is unclear after a single reading, which defeats the purpose. I’m going to write a rewrite at the top of the page – hopefully it’ll go down a little better by being clearer and by having a little more ‘umph’.

      The script is still being worked on, but this kind of feedback is certainly helping with the inspiration.

      Thanks again.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
  24. mikeyz says
    February 15, 2013, 9:17 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Well worded logline had me thinking carefully about the meaning … and then it dawned on me that this school teacher, who is really at odds with this student’s mom or dad (we’re not sure based on your description), has visions of perhaps harming this student who he really has no ill-will against to begin with.

    I understand the teacher’s emotional state but how moralistic is this person, especially as a childhood educator, to wanna hurt this child irregardless of how obnoxious he may be or who he is the son of?

    I’m not crazy about the message here.

    Best of luck on your screenplay!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  25. wmemoli says
    February 12, 2013, 7:49 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Good Job, Might want to use something stronger than struggles.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  26. Profile photo of TheElite09
    TheElite09 says
    February 11, 2013, 11:50 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I love it.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  27. January 30, 2013, 3:00 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I like this quite a bit. I would probably choose a few different words here, erring on the side of simplicity–

    “An inspirational schoolteacher is tempted to take revenge when the uncaring son of his daughter’s killer joins his class.”

    “Obnoxious” in the original is a little too neutral of a word, though I can’t put my finger on why. “Callous” seemed close, but an uncommon word so I didn’t use it in my ‘rewrite’. “Heartless” maybe? Regardless, the logline is quite good as is.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  28. Profile photo of
    says
    January 11, 2013, 10:12 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Had to read the logline twice but, hey, I’m not a nativer speaker (or reader) of English.
    Good potential, I can imagine interesting developments, and the (2nd reading of the) line really hooked me!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  29. Doboro says
    January 7, 2013, 5:43 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Very intriguing with many possibilities! Bravo!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  30. Profile photo of MaxTeasdale
    December 17, 2012, 2:21 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    This is great. Straight and to the point with moral and criminal implications at stake here. Plenty of room for a A-List actress to sink her teeth into as well. Good work!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  31. December 6, 2012, 12:44 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Sounds interesting and original.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  32. Profile photo of normanwilliam
    October 24, 2012, 6:57 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I’d read this!!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  33. rhino4239 says
    October 12, 2012, 1:46 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I agree with Paul. It took me a second to understand this logline, but it has potential. Maybe just re-write your logline to make a flow a little better. I do like the concept though!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  34. paul says
    August 17, 2012, 1:46 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Must say I had to read the logline three times to fully understand what it was about and who the characters are, but overall it sounds like an interesting idea. There could be some really tense moments in the script.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  35. Profile photo of jusork
    jusork says
    August 7, 2012, 9:27 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Even thought it doesn’t tell a whole bunch about the story, I think it’s almost there. Definitely potential. On an unrelated note, interesting film reference mix, even though I can only vaguely see it.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  36. wardparry says
    August 7, 2012, 2:03 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    This story sounds very very very interesting. The logline is worded in a way that it takes two or three reads to be sure who the characters are, and what the agenda is – which is not what you want. Find a more economical way to say it – and you have a dynamite logline that will generate reads. WP

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  37. Profile photo of imsrallen
    imsrallen says
    August 6, 2012, 6:03 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Very intriguing.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  38. Profile photo of tserlin
    tserlin says
    June 21, 2012, 7:41 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    This is totally a strong logline. You have a winning premise and a winning hook. I would think this script will be sought after.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  39. Profile photo of davemann812
    June 14, 2012, 3:32 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Intresting concept. It leaves me wondering just whom might be hunting whom in this story.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  40. allymay says
    May 20, 2012, 4:41 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    A really interesting idea. I like that the protagonist is having naturally dark thoughts, especially if he feels in someway that the son is following in his father’s footsteps.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  41. says
    May 15, 2012, 10:16 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Nice. I’m not sure if the premise can be carried throughout the whole film as stated in the logline unless it’s like a descent into madness, but it’s polished, interesting and brief.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  42. Profile photo of ckmoak
    ckmoak says
    May 8, 2012, 8:32 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Very intriguing. As a logline, it works great–I’m wondering, though, about how the script will go for you. It’ll be hard to maintain a strong PROtagonist if they’re having consistent thoughts about revenging themselves on a child, even a teenager or young adult–might go better if the main character right off the bat is clearly not entirely a role model in and of themselves. Just a thought.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.