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This is cool for the movie.
A bit wordy.
And why does the pilot decide to run with this? Cause the aliens made him? Or this pilot is bored and wants to have fun?
Write the reason why in the log line and keep it under 30 words, and this shouldn’t be too bad my friend!
Ron
Great premise, sounds amazing
I would go see this in the movies…
sounds interesting
The story is appealing but the logline should trimmed.
Tighten the hook as it has good potential for a movies.
Not bad, I think I’d leave out “created as a weapon”.
A little more succinct would trim the fat. I do like the concept , there’s always room for alien stories. Hidden codes within the earthquakes needs a word or two to clarify it.
I think the story has appeal and kids would bug their parents for movie money.
Thanks for the input, Rick. I appreciate it. LOL about the kids – love it!
Change “identifies” to “identify” as noted by WP above.
Earthquakes are an event, something which has occurred when the fault line plates shift or let loose. Are you trying to say the codes are hidden within earthquake zones close to the earth’s surface, or are the codes buried/placed deep within the earth at various locations along many earthquake fault lines.
Rephrase this logline and shorten it a bit.
This is a movie I would enjoy, assuming the best feature script.
Thanks for the reply! I’ve noticed the ‘identify’ error – eeuw! In this sci-fi story earthquakes can be created – as mentioned as a warfare weapon. A Waver is actually a device for creating events similar to an earthquake, but not on the scale, off course. The codes are hidden in the zones, and can obviously not be seen with the naked eye.
There’s a lot of specifics in this. You really don’t need as much as you might think. Get your hook economical on the main conflict and you’ll be golden. Watch the typo in your first sentence, it should read “identify.”
Since you reference it, here is the logline for Transformers – “An ancient struggle erupts on Earth between two extraterrestrial clans with a clue to the ultimate power held by a young teenager.”
There’s tons of story to Transformers, but we get it with just one sentence. WP
Thanks for the input! Much appreciated!