Sunflower
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Rating: 4.4/5 (74 votes cast)

Sunflower

An alcoholic divorcee who has just lost his job, has his life changed forever when his elderly neighbor suddenly dies and leaves sole guardianship of her autistic granddaughter to him. (Updated: September 12, 2013)

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  1. Echaka95 says
    June 5, 2017, 5:51 pm
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    Great concept!

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  2. ebabe says
    November 1, 2015, 3:51 pm
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    Nothing unique.

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  3. roknsrf says
    February 19, 2015, 3:22 pm
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    I can’t even begin to tell you how much I loved this script, it is everything one could want in a story of this type. I am shocked at the low reviews and all I can say to those jagoffs is “Have you read any of the other scripts in these contests?” Seriously, I have read over 40 of them and this blows every other script in this genre away by a mile. True, there are some proof reading and structural errors but as the scripts in this contest go, there’s less errors here than most. My only advice would be to continue to work on the dialogue and remove as many montages as possible so that it can fully live up to the caliber of screenwriting as the rest of this script. Only through classic dialogue will you be able to have a classic movie… give us lines we will never forget (and I know you know what I mean because you’ve already done it in the scene where Sunny runs here hand over the picture book revealing the quote that Michael reads, CLASSIC). Furthermore, be careful not to have characters repeating themselves, i.e. Mrs. Richards to Michael when she is telling him that Sunny likes him, or when the lawyer David is talking to Michael in a number of their scenes together etc. If you’ve said it once and then “maybe” once more for emphasis, but no more and always cleverly reword it so as to hide the redundancy. That said, it is easy to see why you are entertaining offers on this awesome piece of work. Everyone of the characters, especially Michael, were excellently developed. Each a full, rich, and real life. I felt I knew everyone of them and was moved to emotion whether it be empathy but also some impatience for Michael, anger and annoyance with Ashley, indignance with Sandra, frustration at Sunny, joy with the successes of Michael and Sunny, sadness at Michael loosing Sunny, rage against Tony, devastation at Sunny’s death (I would have liked her to recover, but I know I can’t have everything), nevertheless, my feelings were a result of your development of these characters. In addition, the story structure was equally top drawer, with the main inciting incident coming at page 30 and all of the sub plot turning points and the final plot twist coming by page 106. Now maybe that’s a little late for some, but I can’t see how you could’ve introduced it any sooner with the need to place all 3 miner plot points in before it. As it is, Michael’s growth track could have been expounded further (2nd act.), so I don’t see how you could have done any better than you did. Also, I totally disagree with anyone who suggests that your descriptions are too wordy, or that the ratio of action to dialogue needs to be corrected, I thought they were spot on. Bottomline is, this is overall a 5 star script as compared to any other script in this contest, and no matter what the haters had to say, no one here has done better. This is, in my opinion, a contest winner.

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    • February 19, 2015, 6:53 pm

      I appreciate the in depth review as well as the critisism. I’m glad you enjoyed my story and you were able to pick up on some of the subtleties that don’t bode well for traditional screenwriting but translate to deep relatable film making. I tuely do understand that one of my weaknesses as a screenwriter is my tendency to be TOO detailed in desrcription, as I am more of a long form writer traditionally. But when you have a special main character such as Sunny who doesn’t speak more than a handful of lines but needs to speak true to the real life demographic that she represents, detailed description can’t be avoided. I definitely have a LOT of description that has been cut down since the draft of SUNFLOWER that is posted on this sight (I was some what rushed to meet the deadline when I first entered, and I submitted two re-writes during the initial contest). But to the naysayers I say go read CASTAWAY. Tom Hanks is alone for most of the beginning of the film and doesn’t say much…the pages of the script aren’t blank.
      I honestly have gotten some very useful criticism from a lot of these reviews, including yours. But this is a competition and my script being one of the most heavily reviewed ones on the sight, it’s bound to get some haters that simply want to vote it down. So I’m thankful for the legit looks either way.
      I’m not actually in the current contest, and since this draft I have made many major changes to my script, but best of luck to you brother, and thank you again for the candid and in depth critique and your thumbs up.

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      • roknsrf says
        March 13, 2015, 5:24 pm

        No problem, it was my pleasure. I have read another 20 scripts sense reading yours and it still ranks up at the top. I was hoping to get your review on my screenplay. It is called Whigger, and it would be awesome to have someone of your writing prowess give me an honest opinion of it, and my writing acumen as it is my first screenplay, and I could use all the corrective criticism I can get. Thanks again.

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    BushyBooo says
    November 28, 2014, 10:42 am
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    Though it’s not really my type, but it’s nice, I like the log line.

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    • November 28, 2014, 11:16 am

      I suggest you actually read what you are rating. You rated my screenplay, not my logline. And rating a screenplay without reading it, or READIND AND RATING at least one other screenplay is against the rules.

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    Keysieboy says
    November 6, 2014, 5:02 am

    Sounds like a good concept but logline doesn’t point out the difficulties.

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    TheBerg says
    October 11, 2014, 3:01 pm
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    Save for the glaring spelling issues (a guaranteed disaster for writers and producers reading), this script has GREAT potential. I would absolutely repair that as should you send it to anyone they will be immediately turned off by it. Otherwise, well done.

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  7. Profile photo of MovieBuffie
    September 13, 2014, 8:08 pm
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    Lifetime Canada has slots open for their next series season and this is easily a dead-ringer. Is this a completed script, if so, you might want to give them a look. There are three prodcos looking for material.

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    GBland77 says
    September 8, 2014, 10:29 pm

    This is a very good story with great potential; however, unless you’re writing a shooting script, you may want to dispense with camera angles and other “crew’ directions. It is well written and a good read. I was reminded of the film, Rain man, which, like this script, was a spec and met with critical acclaim. I would definitely stay with this and I hope you continue to write. Very, very entertaining.

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    Raffiki says
    September 8, 2014, 3:54 pm
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    Definitely a pass but before I start throwing the baby out with the bathwater, there are some good things in this script that need to be lauded. It’s definitely a re-write in progress but someone should pick this up!

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    DeeDee says
    September 8, 2014, 3:45 pm

    While this was not exactly my cup of tea, it is certainly worth a look for anyone reviewing. I enjoyed the script and have a great deal of understanding about issues concerning alcoholism, thanks in part to my Dad, but the story falls short of giving a clear picture of what families go through. Just my two cents.

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    Glencoe64 says
    September 8, 2014, 3:37 pm
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    This is a well written and well thought out script. I wonder if it’s Disney Family material. I think I will ask around the office. Is this script available? As in not produced as yet?

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    leeoconnor says
    September 8, 2014, 2:05 pm
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    You have a wonderful tale here, it just needs to be told better. Avoid camera directions, shots etc. Get rid of the zoom in and outs, describe the scene, don’t direct it.
    Some of your script is far too descriptive, simplify it. Less is more.

    It will take a brave soul to look through the whole script with the formatting like this.

    I hope this helps, this is not me being bitter or anything it’s just some friendly advice.

    Good luck with this.

    Lee

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  13. Profile photo of MoviemakerEli
    August 30, 2014, 10:25 pm
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    Great story! Is the script available for option? I have someone who may be interested.

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    • August 30, 2014, 10:53 pm

      I’m actually in the “negotiation process” and have been taking offer meetings. I am thrilled that you enjoyed it and are interested in production. I will private message you my contact info. INBOX…

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    says
    August 18, 2014, 5:41 pm
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    Doc

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    says
    August 18, 2014, 5:39 pm

    Dear Willie,

    I agree with some of the comments especially about overwriting the description. I think I counted one sequence was 19 lines. That would not fly in LA. Remember, we are dealing with people who have the attention span of a gnat.

    Having said that, I think this project has a lot of potential. Personally, I would shoot for 100 pages and make it as tight as you can. Eliminating any unnecessary dialogue or description and really get to the heart of the piece. You’ve got something here.

    Congrats and continued success.

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    • August 18, 2014, 7:07 pm

      I’m actually in LA, and being an actor venturing into screenwriting I’ve learned I am extremely long winded in my screenwriting, and that there is a lot of truth to youanalysis. I can’t remember which draft is posted on this site as my entry was from last seasons contest, but I can say I actually cut it down to 109 pages and then by my most recent draft/rewrite it’s at a 126pg count. Much of the added material being the suggestion of several professional readers from the Blacklist sight.

      I do however know the long descriptive sequence you are refering to. And even in rexamining my entire piece in “cut-mode”, while I was able to trim a lot of the fat I had in there, I still found it very challenging to cut back on description in the scenes that involved only Michael and Sunny (the 19 sent. sequ.), as Sunny’s Autism function has been built in such a way that I need to use an extreme amount of detail to SHOW what she is going through because she doean’t speak. I often found myself feeling like I was writing an action film sequece when I was writing parts with her in it. The best I could do for much of her involvement was to just reword much of it in a way that just took up less space. But being a seasoned writer, if you have any specific suggestions as to how one might address descriptive writing like that, I would greatly appreciate any insight in that regard, as I am currently in negotionations with a few different financiers to produce the film.

      Thanks for taking the time brother.

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    • August 18, 2014, 7:11 pm

      PS: please excuse the typos. I suck at writing on the cell.

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  16. Theonedue says
    August 16, 2014, 3:32 pm
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    I enjoyed most of the dialogue and the description of the characters. It will be interesting to see how this turns out once it is made into a screen play. Everything was relatable.

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  17. fgross2006 says
    February 11, 2014, 9:16 pm
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    So I just finished reading this as one of my two assigned reads. I’m still wondering why the two people assigned to read mine haven’t done so yet but anyway,,

    I really enjoyed this screenplay. It accomplished what every writer should want to accomplish, It got my interest in the first 10 pages and kept me interested until I finished reading it. I was interested in Michael and Sunny and rooted for both of them every step of the way.

    my minor critiques are the many typos, the title page still with generic info from the program used to create it, the mistake listing Live and let Die as a Beatles song, and lastly, the way in which Michael gains custody of Sunny seemed like it was not very believable. I’d work on that aspect a bit more but otherwise, Good Luck with this screenplay.

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    • February 12, 2014, 12:36 am

      Thanks for the review. I’m glad you liked the story. I apologize for the spelling issues. In my haste to make the deadline I posted a very early draft and then I paid to have 2 updated versions posted later. I admit I was a bit premature with my entry and should have just waited for a later contests deadline to get a more polished draft online.

      The Live and Let Die listing was brought to my attention earlier by another reviewer and that has been corrected as well. I think you are spot on with your questioning of the way in which Michael gets Sunny. I was a balancing act to say the least. Trying to maintain a realistic time frame, alongside honoring the reality of social services due process, special needs accommodations in hospitals in general, and making it fit into a story that I was struggling to keep under 120 pages (my manager still wants it cut down to 95-100 for pitching) was a huge endeavor to say the least. There still may be some changes made in minor details of it all but based on my research with several social services professionals (a couple of which have commented below) Sunny’s acquisition by Michael in this particular circumstance “is not unbelievable” (that being a social workers words I interviewed). A lot of the process is specific to the state and its legislation as far as social services procedure, as well as the declining existence of Mental Health “Institutions”/departments and professionals on hand in most hospitals in general. For many hospitals which lack those facilities and expertise, the children who are admitted for care are often just sedated for transport, or upon arrival and then released into their parents or caretakers custody. Which is why I chose to have Sunny picked up in a regular hospital room and a not a psychiatric ward. It’s rare to find them (psych wards) in hospitals these days. But it is still in the evolutionary phase, and I welcome any insight as to how I can make any part of my story more realistic, especially given the content that revolves around the Autistic community. Realism in that respect is paramount. If you have specific suggestions or ideas, please message me and let me know what you think would help my story telling.

      I am also an actor. I’m not a writer. So I am learning a lot as I go, and I freely admit to my ignorance of many of the dos and dos and don’ts of screenwriting form a technical stand point. The title page is something no one has addressed for me so far. You would be doing me a great service by telling me here or in a private message your suggestions for how Michael gets Sunny, as well as how my title page needs to be restructured.

      Sorry for the long winded response. And thanks again for taking the time. Best of luck to you!

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    Olich says
    February 5, 2014, 6:59 am
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    Very interesting story. But some moments made me sad, because of my sentimentality… and again…powerfull story

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  19. Joseph-Day says
    January 7, 2014, 5:34 pm

    Oh, one minor thing I forgot to mention. The song “Live and Let Die” is sang by Paul McCartney with his post-Beatles band Wings. He never sang it with the Beatles.

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  20. Joseph-Day says
    January 6, 2014, 9:25 pm
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    I expected a lot going into this from all the reviews, but this story didn’t quite do it for me. I felt that the story was formulaic and would be something that would be made for Lifetime. The main character was multi-dimensional but typical for this type of story. Nothing really separated him from other films that I’ve seen that deal with this subject matter. An all around shitty person turns into a good person. I found myself constantly predicting what was going to happen next and was never really surprised at a development in the story.
    As far as screenplay formatting, you do a good job. Two things, though. Referencing “The Screenwriter’s Bible” you should never have a paragraph that is more than four lines long. Your paragraphs tend to be more like something you would read in a novel. I would suggest breaking apart the paragraphs and also removing things that the main character is thinking internally. Like how are you going to translate how he thinks about Mrs. Richardson’s bed on film? It is unneeded in my opinion and doesn’t belong in a screenplay. Lastly, it is highly advised never to use bold when writing screenplays. It is suggested that when you need to put extra emphasis on a word to just underline it.
    On a positive note, I did enjoy the scene with Sandra and him in the park. There was some funny dialogue there.
    I hope this review helps some. Remember, I’m just one reader with an opinion, and you seem to have many readers that enjoyed this story. Best of luck on your script.

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    • January 6, 2014, 11:03 pm

      Your insight is appreciated. Sorry the story didn’t hit home for you. And best of luck to you as well brother.

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    MBGrant says
    December 11, 2013, 11:33 am
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    This was a fantastic screenplay with so much heart. The characters are so well developed and the story instantly pulled me in. I hated that there are a ton of typos/misspellings which is distracting and unprofessional. Yet even so, this is one of the most touching stories I’ve seen in a while.

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    Agibbons22 says
    October 15, 2013, 2:37 pm
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    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this screenplay. It’s a great story that touches on very interesting topics. Seeing people get second chances and turning their lives around in itself is very intriguing to me. When sonny came into the story I was immediately was drawn in. Working with kids with autism everyday, I understood the connection that Michael and sonny had instantly. This story hits a lot of what it is like working alongside of kids w autism. Sunflower really gives the public eye a look into the amazing things people with autism are capable of and the struggles they come across daily.

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  23. mikeyz says
    September 17, 2013, 12:12 pm
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    I went into this expecting a lot based on the very favorable reviews … and I wasn’t disappointed! The character development of the Michael character was fascinating and I love the way you brought everything together in a very moving, yet realistic and non-cliche-type method that one might expect from this type of a film. Few grammatical errors I encountered were really minor and almost unnoticeable. Not much more really needed to say here except “very well done!” This was a wonderful little tear-jerker indeed!

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    • September 18, 2013, 12:26 pm

      Again apologies for the spelling and grammar flubs. Two readers later and they are still making a stink in little nooks and crannies of my script…call me lazy. I’ll accept it 😛

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    kwonder22 says
    September 16, 2013, 5:32 pm
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    Great concept. Overall I felt the emotion of all the characters. Would be a great movie or even a tv series.

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    jtcrew171 says
    September 15, 2013, 6:18 pm
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    Great story …. really pulls you and makes you care about the characters. The character development of the main character was right on point. The author creates an atmosphere that makes the reading feel exactly how Mike was feeling throughout the story.

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    rxqueen123 says
    September 15, 2013, 9:53 am
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    Fabulous concept with terrific potential. Moves well and keeps my interest. I really want to know more about the main character, though– why should I care if he’s redeemed or not? We need to see more of the extremes that define him. What’s so truly bad about him that we are happy to see him absolved at the end? Right now he’s just your run-of-the mill alcoholic lout, but flesh him out more because there is more under there that your audience will want to see.

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    lymor says
    September 15, 2013, 1:11 am
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    I really enjoyed the overall script and felt each characters story clearly through their own eyes. Its also an uplifting and inspiring story about life’s ups and downs and how love always prevails! and that children always teach us something a reminder that a young girl with a disability can light up your life and change it forever! Those who are capable sometimes forget.

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    jennswirtz says
    September 14, 2013, 4:13 pm
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    I’m very impressed with the story & the writing. Great story about relationships & love. I wanted to like the protagonist more, but it’s hard while he cheats on his wife & isn’t caring for his own children. But many people go through ups & downs and this story shows you can be brought up by an unlikely relationship. Good job! I’d love to see it on the big screen.

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    sandilee25 says
    September 14, 2013, 3:08 am
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    Great story, very well done, very engaging. It makes you want to keep reading and makes you falls in love with the characters.

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    September 13, 2013, 4:59 pm
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    Aww, I just love Sunny and Michael! I was immediately intrigued by the fact that Sunny clearly saw something in Michael that no one else did, not even himself. I was looking forward to the unveiling of his story from the very beginning. I love the fact that the handicapped girl was more insightful, loving, and accepting towards Michael than his own family. I think there was real beauty and grace in that relationship and I found myself wanting to know more about the characters; and I don’t think that is necessarily due to the fact that they were not “developed” thoroughly, but more the fact that I truly began to care about them and found myself thinking about the both of them long after I turned the last page. This is a beautiful story filled with real life struggle, pain, and fallibility, and I think with the right actors, this story has the capacity to truly touch people. Thank you Willie for this contribution. Great work.

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    aludka says
    September 13, 2013, 4:56 pm
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    Overall, I think this is a wonderful, eye opening story. Killer ending… The concept is is a typical redemption story but done in an atypical way that also provides insight into other aspects (such as Autism). There were a few grammar issues but those are easy fixes that have nothing to do with the story and they aren’t enough to make it illegible or even difficult to understand. It was a good read that I couldn’t put down. I think it would be a great movie, and the only parts of the budget that would really incur a cost are the cars, but they aren’t being destroyed or anything so this is definitely easily producible. :-)

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    CAITLINR says
    September 13, 2013, 3:42 pm
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    This story was incredibly moving and touching. I did not expect it to move me as it did. It’s amazing how beautiful this story is, despite the horrific tragedy. I love how it taught me some stuff on autisim and raises awareness for it. I couldn’t put the screenplay down as I read it and cried in several occasions, finishing up bawling, but feeling positive about how the protagonist’s life made a turn for the better. I think this would be a gorgeous film and I really hope that I can one day see it on the big screen! Bravo!!!

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  33. Profile photo of nikcoleecole
    September 12, 2013, 6:08 pm
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    I really enjoyed this screen play from beginning to end!

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  34. Profile photo of Jessicahalse123
    September 12, 2013, 2:47 pm
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    Great story!!! Hopefully it will be in theaters. I work in the mental health field and I feel that is addresses many of the issues I deal with everyday. I think people are very unaware of issues similar to the main character. This made into a movie would be awesome and a must watch on in my book!

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  35. Profile photo of alexgeschwind
    September 12, 2013, 1:03 am
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    I got chills when the sad news arrived at the end. But it ends on a high note and hopeful. And it is not depressing. I love stories with life lessons. And I agree, this story needs to be made into a feature asap!

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  36. Profile photo of ShelbyKemper
    September 11, 2013, 7:03 pm
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    I really connected with this story, and appreciated the heart of it all. I think we can all learn something from Sunny, and the hope of someone like Michael becoming a good man. Thanks!

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  37. Profile photo of FIN.
    FIN. says
    September 11, 2013, 5:53 pm
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    At first I didn’t know what to expect of how this story was going to turn out. Perhaps I just have an unusual sense of humor; but the seriousness of an alcoholic man’s life being crumbled away with an unlikely opportunity to redemption via an odd ball little girl with special needs followed by obstacles of shenanigans creates a story about prospective and life lessons with a hint of mysticism. I loved the interactions between the the main characters and their ability to some how make everything fall into place as they live and learn from each other. I read this script entirely through and it put a grin on my face multiple times. Great job.

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  38. Profile photo of DAgwh2K
    DAgwh2K says
    September 10, 2013, 11:42 pm
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    Just read this amazing story today while taking a flight from LA to Philly and was completely overcome with emotion while stuck in between two strangers on a long plane flight. The connection between the 2 primary characters, comes across in a very powerful manner. The structure of the story is somewhat predictable, but it still gets you and leaves you with no choice but to feel the emotion that overcomes the characters in the situation presented. This story depicted on the big screen would be a heart wrenching must see for those that allow themselves to really feel the story and it also serves as a message to those that often take things in life for granted. Such as…purpose in life, being able to learn from others that you would never in a million years think you could learn from, and patience for the things in life that we don’t understand entirely!

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  39. Profile photo of vwasveiler1
    September 10, 2013, 6:58 pm
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    It is a very touching story. I feel that it dabbles at some very strong issues that our society is going through. Marriage, alcohol abuse, child abuse, and Autism. I was pissed at the writer for having the girl die in the end, that is a sign of a great writer! Hope to see this in the theaters!

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  40. Profile photo of MelanieCSpecht
    September 10, 2013, 12:42 pm
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    This script is fantastic!!! Loved the story, loved the characters and how it was all put together. I couldn’t put it down and would love to see this on the big screen. The writer did an amazing job!!

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  41. Profile photo of kristinelizabeth
    September 10, 2013, 12:40 pm
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    I truly loved this story and had tears in my eyes at the end. The only criticism I have is that I didn’t like the main character in the beginning. While I understand that his transformation is the whole point of the story, maybe adding some anecdote or perspective that at least makes you sympathetic toward him and his plight would make the reader care more about him. I’d be very excited to see this made into a movie.

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  42. Profile photo of Victor
    Victor says
    September 10, 2013, 12:18 am
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    Great screenplay and its an easy read with an unexpected ending! well done

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  43. Profile photo of jolson9108a
    September 9, 2013, 10:59 pm
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    Great Story line about how life is and it treats us and surprises us.

    How we have to learn to deal with those around us.

    How we are judged even though we are doing a great job.

    Including how our family can reject us.

    Character development and the relationship between them is great.

    Needs to be made into a motion picture to share the story and plight of those who are autistic and those who care for them.

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  44. Profile photo of CharLee
    CharLee says
    September 9, 2013, 9:33 pm
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    First of all, well done! I can only relate based on experience. No I was not an alcoholic however I have been on the other side watching. I heard all the negative of social workers, but I have to say there is one in a million. Yes, even today. Autism is rising in our world and to know that this topic is now open to the world with acceptance is a wonderful concept. The whole story was about hope and faith….in another human beings. Building trust and broken trust was identified between a wife who felt neglected and betrayed to a child who trusted totally. It touches a reality of many lives that deal with this daily….living it. Unless somebody shares it as it is in Sunflower, how do we learn as an individual, as a community and our world. This would definitely affect many lives and it is a story that explicitly touches the heart. It would be a wonderful movie because it is real life. Everything that is happening in the world, this is a great message and inspiration.

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  45. Profile photo of Yukilynn
    Yukilynn says
    September 9, 2013, 8:38 pm
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    Heartfelt and organic plot twists.
    Strong name actors would be good in this movie.
    Good themes.

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  46. DD88 says
    September 9, 2013, 2:54 pm
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    Wow…Amazing story! I can relate fully as my youngest son has autism…he is adopted…my nephew from my previous marriage…I’ve cared for him since he was born & he is my greatest joy! This screenplay is quite accurate. The writer obviously did extensive research…the details really add body & believability to the work. The story line is easy to follow…flashbacks filling in the gaps effectively. The characters are easy to connect with…making you cheer for the hero & hate the bad guys. The climax…while very tragic & unexpected :’-(…is very realistic & touches on many issues that children with autism may be facing. The ending leaves you feeling good about the outcomes & hopeful for the character’s future. This will be an excellent film. It would bring much needed awareness to Autism & its effects on those who struggle with it daily & their families!

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    • September 9, 2013, 4:14 pm

      That is awesome that you felt my story like that. It’s all I could have hoped for as a reaction form someone in the Autistic community. Thanks!

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  47. September 9, 2013, 10:45 am
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    Okay, I’m gonna admit it, I cried. I loved every moment of this script. And I cannot wait for this to be a movie. Cuz, I will be there the moment it is. :)

    Thank you for a great, great read.

    Vatican Kelevra

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    • September 9, 2013, 12:44 pm

      Thanks for taking the time. Glad you enjoyed. All the votes from other actors here in Hollywood, and family and friends that I know are great, but it really means something to hear my story moved someone else who just has love for good stories. Do you have any of your 5 scripts on this site?

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    • September 9, 2013, 12:45 pm

      PS: SUNFLOWER is in development now so you might get to see it soon!
      All the best!

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  48. Profile photo of TaraTLC04
    TaraTLC04 says
    September 8, 2013, 11:03 pm
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    I loved this screenplay, I couldn’t put it down!! I would love to see this movie!!
    Love, love, love it!!

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  49. Profile photo of nichie04
    nichie04 says
    September 8, 2013, 2:51 pm
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    I agree, I would like to see this movie.

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    • September 8, 2013, 10:46 pm

      Thanks for reading. I actually have yours in cue. I’m a few scripts behind in my reads right now. But I will definitely get to it by the end of next week. SUNFLOWER is currently in development, and you being a women who has read my story, that I don’t know personally; I have to ask your thoughts and/or suggestions/criticism over all, and specifically on the female characters. This has been a sensitive subject from day one (me being a man, writing female leads) and something I had difficulty with in the creative process.

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  50. Profile photo of mmossayeb
    mmossayeb says
    September 8, 2013, 7:50 am
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    This script needs to be made into a film. Good work.

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  51. Profile photo of Angelxxv
    Angelxxv says
    September 7, 2013, 3:37 am
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    What a surprise!!!! Let me start off by saying that this genre is not my cup of tea. I was hooked from the very start. There were grammatical errors, and there could have been more dept to the supporting characters and their development, but I gave it a shocking Five Star rating across the board for that exact reason!!! The meat and potatoes of this story is solid!!! Yes, It need some polishing, but it is truly a gem!!!! A child with autism coming together with a misunderstood neighbor, with issues of his own, to form a compelling story? That just shows the dept and talent of the writer.
    I’ve never read any of Willie Warren work, but his is definitely on my radar!

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  52. Profile photo of Ann1212
    Ann1212 says
    September 6, 2013, 7:36 am
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    I think it’s a great concept and script and that with the right people on board acting and directing, it would be a huge success!

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  53. Profile photo of tsjohnson51
    September 4, 2013, 8:51 pm
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    An intriguing story and a look out two seeming lost souls can save each other.

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  54. Profile photo of Aylya123
    Aylya123 says
    September 4, 2013, 8:00 pm
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    Beautifully written, beautiful story. Can’t wait to see it on film.

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  55. Profile photo of Msming
    Msming says
    September 4, 2013, 2:49 pm

    I Liked this….Great messages, heart-filled story, surprising turns. Makes you think.

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  56. Profile photo of tralucent
    tralucent says
    September 4, 2013, 2:23 pm
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    Great story, well told. It’s exciting to read a story that is both moving and well grounded in real human behaviors and choices.

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  57. Profile photo of Msming
    Msming says
    September 4, 2013, 12:16 am
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    Wasn’t prepared for the Beauty of this story!!!! Worthy of getting made!

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  58. Profile photo of Michelle-West
    September 3, 2013, 11:43 pm
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    Absolutely loved this screenplay!!! I couldn’t put it down, and couldn’t wait to find out what happened next. It was well thought out, and I seriously can’t wait to see it on screen!

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  59. Profile photo of Supermaninitials
    September 3, 2013, 9:19 pm
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    Fabulous Write! Intriguing and it captured my attention! I hope to read more of the writers scripts in the future and see them made into movies!

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  60. Profile photo of jallen
    jallen says
    September 3, 2013, 7:30 pm
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    storyline is dramatic, but although it is a somewhat unique situation I still feel it is clich.

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  61. Profile photo of LizG
    LizG says
    September 3, 2013, 12:08 pm
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    Love the story & the characters are extremely well-developed. I was emotionally invested in the story & cared about the characters, which made me want to keep reading. Also think it’s very timely, given the issues of autism & substance abuse. The way I felt about Michael continuously changed – definitely no stagnant characters here! Well thought out & executed, loved the story line & the unique concept.

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  62. Profile photo of Daniellekurtich
    September 2, 2013, 12:23 am
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    Love the screenplay. Emotional and touching story!

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    • September 2, 2013, 9:48 pm

      You think this is a big budget film? Why?

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        CAITLINR says
        September 14, 2013, 5:27 am

        It seems like many reviewers misread the BUDGET rating. I think if they put a “5” it means that they thought it was a “1”. It is a very low Budget or inexpensive film to be produced, which is one of the big selling points. It isn´t just a beautiful storyline and tear-jerker, but also a cheap film to make!

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  63. September 1, 2013, 10:34 pm
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    I love this story. I feel the way that we have evolved as American’s and society it hits home for the masses

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  64. September 1, 2013, 10:27 pm
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    I love it. This is a wonderful story, and beautifully written. I do agree that some things could be fleshed out a bit, such as seeing more of Michael’s life with his family before it falls apart as I think someone mentioned, as well as some more of what it took for Sunny to begin to trust Michael; I feel it happened a little too easily. Regardless, I love the way their relationship develops. Reading this I could feel the chemistry and bond between them and started to care for them early on in the story. I love that our faith in Michael is tested and his choices are not always pretty, and that you kept Sunny so realistic and true and didn’t “lessen” her symptoms, for lack of better word, in order to make her more “loveable.”
    This needs to be told on the big screen! Good luck

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  65. Profile photo of keelybugz
    keelybugz says
    August 31, 2013, 5:37 pm
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    Great story! Thank you for sharing it with me. Best of luck!

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  66. Profile photo of laurenleighbark
    August 31, 2013, 5:27 pm
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    Lovely screenplay! Captivating characters and fantastic story line. As a person who works with special needs children, it is a breath of fresh air to read such a realistic screenplay. Can’t wait to see the developments you make. Good work.

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  67. Profile photo of Blikki1
    Blikki1 says
    August 31, 2013, 4:50 pm
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    Great story – the characters could be developed a little more but that may just be a by-product of the length of the screenplay. I imagine children are placed in homes of questionable conditions and with people of questionable character far more often than any of us like to think, so your premise is a realistic one. But to bring someone from a low point, where the main character is so selfish and an alcoholic, to a newfound man…I think takes more obstacles to overcome during the course of the story, with more hard lessons learned. The alcohol issue never does get fully addressed. He throws the bottle at the wall, but after that ends up drunk again when he loses custody of Sunny. We can assume from the final voicemail messages that he completed his self transformation, but it’s never really stated. I do love the ending…but a talent for drawing is never actually explored. I’d like to see more of a connection there to make the ending more plausible…not to the point where it’s predictable but just so it doesn’t come out of the blue. I saw the spelling/grammar was already addressed so I won’t say anything about that here. Great storyline – a little more character development, less overt statements by Michael about how all of a sudden he’s come around completely, and I think this will go far!

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  68. Profile photo of kenaka
    kenaka says
    August 29, 2013, 10:19 pm
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    Great story man! Can’t wait to see it as a movie, hit up Johnathan Dayton and Valerie Ferys (Little Miss Sunshine) We better make a movie soon fool!

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  69. Profile photo of LorraineVictoria
    August 29, 2013, 9:38 pm
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    I think this story is so unique! I was constantly shocked reading the script. Its so raw and honest!!! I loved it!!!!

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  70. Aloney says
    August 26, 2013, 1:24 am
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    Overall I definitely enjoyed the story. Was immediately drawn in and intrigued as to how it played out. I liked the way that it dealt with Autism which many people deal with everyday and the vast majority don’t understand. Contrary to some of the other comments regarding the dialogue I felt that it was necessary in the interaction with Sunny to make her condition very real and show what people deal with everyday. I would’ve liked to get to know Michael more and to see more of his interaction with his family before things went south. All in all I appreciated the moments of levity that balanced the stressful and challenging situation he was thrown into and felt a real connection to the main characters as they evolved throughout the story. Look forward to seeing the end product.

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  71. Profile photo of Chris-Bahamas
    August 26, 2013, 12:10 am
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    Great Concept Tons of Potential. But you must dig deeper and go further to discover all other aspects of the script and characters. Especially with dialogue you need more of it you are telling too much of the story with narrative. I love the relationships but i feel you can carve them out more with great dialogue. Good Luck and keep working!

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  72. Profile photo of noiraddict
    noiraddict says
    August 18, 2013, 1:14 pm

    I was intrigued when I saw a screenplay doing so well in this competition, but now I feel like it’s so rigged and wondering if it’s even worth submitting mine to the next deadline. First, voting for your own screenplay, let alone a near perfect score, is unprofessional. You are not the only one doing this but it makes the writer look conceited. I also feel like the second review was trying to help but almost turned into a race thing. Last, I hope I’m not the only one who finds five accounts created in an hour, leaving great reviews here one after the other, and sounding pretty similar is shady. I am not feeling too hot about this website anymore.
    -Maddie

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    • August 18, 2013, 9:12 pm

      You are certainly welcome to your opinion. The second reviewer is also. This is not a race thing. I was simply stating for that reviewer the difference in the perspective that I was writing from, in the name of story telling. Nothing else. It was not a negative response. Nor was I pulling the race card. I was just telling her to try to examine my piece from the perspective from which it was written, and how, when it is shot, it will be perceived, visually with this type of racial and gender casting. The casting is key to the story that I am telling. That being said, the second reviewer did not read my entire script before she voted either, and that is not a help at all. Who are you to critique or criticize a written work when you never finish the piece?
      As far as others who have voted and when they created their accounts…the time at which it is done is irrelevant. I have to say I am not a fan of this format entirely myself. That being said, I am an actor who is writing work for myself and other professionals to star in. Way before this contest I had had my rough draft read by over 20 other actors as well as writers and professional readers here in LA as well as other parts of the country. The rules of the site are clear. For me to sit down via Facebook/e-mail and ask several friends/family/actors etc, who have already read my script, sit and pump out one more so that they can validly rate mine on the site, is well within the rules. And the task of reading two screenplays for an actor…well this is what we do for a living. I have read about 6 scripts so far and have rated a few. So hate it or love it, be my colleagues votes skewed in my favor, my story is just that relatable and good, you can only truly judge if you actually read my script and THEN comment and rate it. What you are doing here is writing a complaint on my page that is geared more toward the site administrators. To that I can only say, if you don’t like the game then you don’t have to play. But if you are at all genuinely interested. Why don’t you click download and do me a favor by giving me honest feedback form a perfect strager, rather than just tracking time and dates of other users registration. The site Also tracks IP address to be sure the ratings come from different computers. And if you really want to dig that deeply, why dont you contact the other voters on my page…they all have facebooks. I could even give you names so that you can investigate further if you doubt their existence, but I assure you the site is doing their job in that respect…and I will have a lot more voters in the weeks to come. As far as my arrogance at voting for my own work goes…if its allowed, then why not? What artists crates anything and shares it with the world, if they aren’t in love with it themselves already? And what actor/writer/painter/dancer/singer/etc…doesn’t have a touch of narcissism along side passion for what it is that they do? Help me out Maddie. Complain to the administrators and then read my work. Rate it honestly (keeping in mind where I am coming form in my comment to the second reviewer). And give me some feedback as to how I can make it better. At the end of the day that is what I am after. And at the end of the day you may thing my work is garbage, but if you have actually read it then I will take into account what you have to say all the same 😉

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    • September 4, 2013, 6:09 pm

      And just to be clear, because I would hate for ANYONE to think I made this a racial argument and I have been asked about your remark multiple times now:

      My use of the title “the prejudice critic” has nothing to do with racial prejudice. It is referring to the judging of my screenplay, having not read the whole thing: pre-judging (which is clearly against the rules, while inviting friends and family to register and partake in the half of the voting that is for the public IS clearly stated in the rules). Racism and Prejudice are not the same word, nor are they synonymous.

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  73. Profile photo of ellisgreer
    ellisgreer says
    August 17, 2013, 10:12 pm
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    Wow! Shocked at some of the choices the characters made. Intriguing! Love the descriptions aside from the dialogue, as well.

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  74. Profile photo of warrenmn
    warrenmn says
    August 15, 2013, 9:06 pm
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    Great story of redemption. Really loved how you made Michael like Pinocchio and the autistic girl his jimminy cricket. Also loved that Sunny’s character is grounded in reality. Autism being something that people deal and live with everyday, the subject matter of this story is reliant and relate able. You should do another sweep to correct all grammatical and spelling errors.

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  75. Profile photo of rebleekah
    rebleekah says
    August 15, 2013, 8:54 pm
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    I really enjoyed reading this screenplay! I liked the racial and gender casting. I also liked the fact that the co-lead is a child with autism because this condition is becoming more prevalent in society. I can’t wait to see this on the big screen!

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  76. August 15, 2013, 8:29 pm
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    Great overall story, I wish that you could have told more about the mother and boyfriend.. I feel as if you could have had a build up to the fight scene. I wanted to know more background about the mother and especially the boyfriend. Once Michael was kicked out, it was way too soon was he reintroduced back into sonny’s home. There were some grammatical errors, but that can be revised. Again, I encourage a deeper supporting character development.

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  77. Profile photo of billythekidd
    August 15, 2013, 8:23 pm
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    I really liked this screenplay. I liked that the main character is man. It shows that real men can be caring and it also shows real life issues and problems to overcome.

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  78. Profile photo of teedub007
    teedub007 says
    August 15, 2013, 8:04 pm
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    This was an amazing read. It is so refreshing to read such a realistic storyline. In this day, there are so many children diagnosed with autism and many of them are so misunderstood. Here we have a good neighbor, with problems of his own, but is caring enough to help his fellow man.

    I really like the idea that the man Michael is an African American; original for this role. Also, the idea that the child is white. It kind of shows a role reversal from the typical movies were the black person depends and relies on the white person.

    This should be made into a movie and cast just the way it is written.

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  79. Profile photo of kimm81
    kimm81 says
    August 13, 2013, 5:17 pm
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    Amazing story, great concept, and well thought out – this is the BEST screenplay I’ve read!

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  80. ssabatino says
    August 10, 2013, 6:36 pm
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    Let me start off with a positive: I am intrigued by your concept. The idea of a special needs child being left to the care of an alcoholic neighbor is both unsettling and fascinating. Given that, questions naturally arise in the mind of the viewer – questions that, unfortunately, hang unanswered on the pages of your script. I read to what would be the first hour of your movie, and stopped. I believe I can offer you some constructive feedback.
    Aside from many typos and grammatical errors, you have much too much narrative for a non-action film. Your task in this drama is to tell the story through dialogue and character traits. The audience is listening, more than observing, in a drama. What a character says is quite important to not only his/her development, but also to the developing relationship between him/her and the audience. Your characters are cardboard cut-outs of stereo-types. They are unbelievable and, moreover, they create the nagging questions I mentioned earlier.
    Come on, Michael is a drunk! He’s a lying, cheating bastard! What you could do with that! Pull out the stops and take him to those dark depths. Make us hate him. And then show us his redemption.
    You have a major re-write on your hands, BUT worth the effort in the long run.

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    • August 11, 2013, 3:24 pm

      What is unbelievable about the social worker who does the job because she cares? Whats unbelievable about the the middle age father who has some early success in life and succumbs to self medication and the spoils of his career? And if that second one is stereotypical, then tell me the last time you saw that part played by an Black man. STEREOTYPICALLY it’s a Caucasian male in the story of redemption that takes in the underprivileged ethnic youth, or the handicapped person in need.
      My casting alone makes this far outside the stereotype. And the point is to tell a story that has “gone there” so to speak, but from the reverse side of stereotypical Hollywood casting. Look at it again, and if it is at all possible for you; try a Black mans perspective. I am an actor first. I am learning to write. But I can tell you first hand when it comes to this and many “stereotypical” stories and rolls in Hollywood, it all looks a lot different through these eyes. And when the film is shot form this perspective the audience will see the same story differently as well. America looks at film and TV through stereotypical eyes. And through those eyes, a black man fucking a white woman and cheating on his wife in the office of his firm? Plenty of people are going to look at that alone and judge him a lot harder, unconsciously because he is black.
      Your technical advise is much appreciated and I will delve into those aspects of your critique for sure. I am already in the midst of what has amounted to a 15 page cut form the original piece as we speak. Your advise and rating would be even more appreciated if you actually finished reading and then spoke. At the end of the day as a writer I am telling a story. My story. I don’t want Michael to be hated. I want him, in all his faults, to be understood. I want the audience to not know if they hate or love him until he comes to a cross roads, and chooses his fate each step of the way. I want my characters to be Ibsen like in their development. Every man. Every woman. But no one can say “that’s the hero”, or “that’s the bad guy”, because in all their “stereotypes”, prejudices, bad decisions, and growth, there will be a human aspect that is always relatable. If that makes my story luke-warm to you, well you are certainly welcome to your opinion. But do the system justice. If you are going to rate, then finish reading completely. Otherwise, comment on the message board and hold the premature judgment for another time……the prejudice critic is a stereotype to, you know. Don’t be THAT card board cut out 😉
      Thanks.

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    • August 11, 2013, 4:17 pm

      PS: Forgive me typos. I always catch them after the fact (I assume correct spelling or not, I’m close enough for one to get the gist), and finding out you are an English teacher after I pressed submit…I have to say I am a bit ashamed at my lack of discipline in the grammar and spelling of my reply to you as well as in my script. Call me a lazy actor, but I wanted to meet this deadline, and that happened before my Manager’s reader got back to me. Unfortunately there is a fee to resubmit revised drafts, so I guess I’ll have to roll with this one. That being said, and given your profession, I’m afraid we are going to differ a lot when it comes to writing because you have a lot more rules from which you were trained to write and to which you will adhere to unwaveringly I assume. And I write much the same way that I speak, and the way I imagine my work would be shot, so from that stand point when it comes to “proper English”; rules were made to be broken.

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    • September 4, 2013, 6:04 pm

      And just to be clear on one more thing because Noiraddict seems to feel like I have made this a racial argument:

      My use of the title “the prejudice critic” has nothing to do with racial prejudice. It is referring to the judging of my screenplay having not read the whole thing. Pre-judging. Racism and Prejudice are not the same word, nor are they synonymous.

      I won’t bother you again. Thanks :)

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  81. August 9, 2013, 3:22 pm
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    This is a great story and it NEEDS to be made into a motion picture!

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