Strike Two
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Rating: 4.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Strike Two

The circumstances of his birth allow Nathaniel Bicker, b. 1830, to live well into the twenty first century and become an urban legend.

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  1. Profile photo of
    says
    February 10, 2014, 7:00 pm
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    The idea for the script was intriguing, and there are both solid beginning and ending sequences. I appreciate the dramatic turn towards the end. That being said, I feel the script doesn’t have enough “drama” within. It was difficult for me to discern where the script was actually headed – things felt like a monotone reading of an autobiography. Taking the scenes you’ve already written, I think you could definitely heighten them and slowly draw the audience towards the ending. Dialogue feels natural with the modern speak, but a little more forced when going back in time. It just needs brushing up. Overall, I think the story has a lot of potential. I would just recommend a deeper plot.

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  2. belw says
    January 13, 2014, 9:06 pm
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    This is also a very well-written script, obviously by a writer who has done this before. I have seen so much talent this year (some bad scripts I couldn’t get thru too) it amazes me the stories that come out of people’s heads. This one is great for the 60s-it has sex, drugs and rock and roll. Easily could be optioned

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  3. October 2, 2013, 5:00 pm
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    I thought this was a very compelling story. It definitely kept my attention all the way through. There were a few errors but nothing too serious. I would however…think of a better title. Because “Strike Two”— just doesn’t relate to the story in any way that i can see.

    Very good read.

    SplitLocked

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  4. mikeyz says
    October 2, 2013, 11:06 am
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    A very unique and well-written piece … definitely different from anything I’ve read in a while! Time frames moved quickly especially in the beginning with Nathanial aging and you clarifying on how old he seemed based on his physical size as opposed to his actual age. It got a bit confusing but ultimately I was able to follow the chronology and the logic behind your descriptions. Reminded me alot of your other piece, Music House — a young boy taken in through tragic circumstances by a rich family; befriends the housekeeper; and even plays piano as well! BTW, you appear to be very knowledgeable on famous literary works and classic musical pieces as you’ve incorporated them in your story quite nicely!
    I like the way the story moved around through Nathaniel’s interaction with Arnold and the Grandfather and Jack as various famous historical events in American history are recalled. Reminded me a lot of “Forest Gump” with some obvious fantasy thrown in although some of the time periods were vastly different of course!
    Great ending as well … the whole subplot of Arnold and his Oscar-winning screenplay which basically was the life-story of Nathaniel was an interesting little digressing sub-plot that I thought worked well almost in comedic fashion.
    Regarding grammar — there were some typos, missing periods, awkward line-spacing … all minor and easily fixable. In one scene early on, you flash-backed to the night of the storm when Nathaniel was born but I don’t think you labelled it as “flashback” in the slugline info.
    And with regards to the title “Strike Two” — I understand it based on the lightning strike scenario in the story … but audiences will be confused by it and it doesn’t suit the story in my opinion. Find something better please.
    Overall, nicely done and I really enjoyed the read!

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    • Profile photo of craighorst
      craighorst says
      February 1, 2014, 10:32 am

      mikeyz, I greatly appreciate the observations you made re. my scripts, Music House and Strike Two. You obviously did not rush through them, but read with a keen eye for detail to story etc. Many thanks for all the time spent, and best of luck,Craig

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  5. Profile photo of laura.lucianac
    September 26, 2013, 10:54 pm

    I really like this story. It is highly original and all the historical data seems to be actual.

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  6. Profile photo of luulepra
    luulepra says
    September 25, 2013, 9:16 pm
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    Highly original. Could make a very interesting movie. Keep writing!

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