Steven
User Rating:
VN:RO [1.9.17_1161]
Overall
Story Potential
Hook
Rating: 3.8/5 (27 votes cast)

Steven

Steven Porter learns the truth about domestic violence…he’s the victim.

    40 Comments

    Leave A Reply
    1. Profile photo of Masterjeremybaker
      June 28, 2017, 8:13 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Cool

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    2. hontas190 says
      May 27, 2016, 5:17 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Easy to read and focus, grabs your attention and wanting more. Great job!

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    3. Profile photo of 1rainman1
      1rainman1 says
      November 4, 2014, 2:36 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      A little more information would be nice in this logline. Instead of using a proper name, tell us something about this mans character or attributes. But nevertheless it’s intriguing.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    4. Profile photo of newfield
      newfield says
      October 19, 2014, 3:55 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Newspapers, TV, cover this slant, which is interesting. I would like to see more in the logline.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    5. October 12, 2014, 4:02 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      How is it different from “Men Don’t Tell”?

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    6. Profile photo of clafleur
      clafleur says
      October 4, 2014, 9:16 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Short and straight to the point.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    7. Profile photo of DeeDee
      DeeDee says
      October 4, 2014, 9:03 am

      Not sure if I voted before but here it is. Excellent job!

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    8. toojazzy says
      September 20, 2014, 10:13 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      I too would like to see a little more meat on the bones. It’s a totally new take on domestic violence, but a few more words could under gird your concept.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    9. September 20, 2014, 4:58 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      very Intriguing. but also short for a logline. something here is unclear.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    10. Dem-Nisbet says
      September 17, 2014, 4:19 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Like some others below, I can’t see this as a logline myself. It says he “learns the truth.” Well, if he is the victim, doesn’t he know the truth from the outset? To “learn the truth” implies that someone has lifted the lid on something that was hidden, or buried beneath our hypocrisy or shame – true statements about domestic violence, but not from the victims point of view. Where is the eye-opening moment? High concept, perhaps yes, but from the logline, I can imagine either a powerful expose, or a terribly dreary daytime drama, which tells us what we already know and hate about domestic violence. Your strength is in the title – the single name immediately implies it is a child. Powerful and direct. I would change the logline to make it clear that he knows the truth from the outset, such as, “When a young boy sees a discussion about domestic violence on the news, he realises not everyone understands it the way he does – he’s the victim.” You can insert any other formative event from your story, but this is to give the general idea.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    11. Profile photo of regina65
      regina65 says
      September 15, 2014, 6:37 pm

      Interesting logline and very marketable subject matter.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    12. Profile photo of
      says
      September 9, 2014, 8:20 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      This log line is more of a situation than a synopsis of a story.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)
      • Profile photo of DeeDee
        DeeDee says
        September 9, 2014, 11:07 pm

        I respectfully disagree. As someone actively working in the business, this is far from a situation and a perfectly written logline with high concept.

        VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        Report user
    13. Profile photo of EaglesWings
      September 9, 2014, 6:07 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      A touchy subject for many. Drama conflict. You don’t know whether to hate it or love it. Maybe be a great story if developed with potential
      Avenues for both to seek counseling or self help aspects.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    14. Profile photo of raydavenport
      September 8, 2014, 10:50 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      I like the overall idea, sounds like something I am currently developing, but the log line is unclear, is it a gay story? Is a woman the perpetrator?

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    15. September 8, 2014, 3:37 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Domestic Violence is very real, and I like that you are making from a males perspective. I think you could elaborate on the hook sentence, even though the line you provided is very strong. Good luck!

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
      Report user
    16. Profile photo of Glencoe64
      Glencoe64 says
      September 8, 2014, 12:55 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      This is extremely high concept, exactly the type of logline that gets a producer’s attention. It tells everything that needs to be told short of telling the entire story. ASantiago1975, in my opinion was out of line giving this logline straight 1-stars? Really? It’s story specific, has broad audience appeal, obvious potential for casting and about a sentence long. THAT is high concept.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    17. Ecila says
      September 7, 2014, 5:12 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      It is a little short, but overall seems very interesting.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    18. September 5, 2014, 12:13 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Its too short and the overall idea lacks cohesion. It doesn’t reveal enough of a story to grasp my interest.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
      Report user
      • Profile photo of Glencoe64
        Glencoe64 says
        September 15, 2014, 8:02 pm

        This is what I call a “hater” vote. Really ASantiago1975? One’s.

        VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        Report user
    19. Profile photo of Filmstar22
      Filmstar22 says
      September 4, 2014, 9:50 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Expertly written. Said in one sentence and tells the story without giving away too much. Well done.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    20. Profile photo of regello
      regello says
      September 4, 2014, 7:54 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      I’m with SaraMcD on this. Plus, you don’t need to name the protagonist in a logline unless it’s a familiar person or character we’ve all heard of. Instead, used to the space to give some identifying feature about him. For instance, “A boxer becomes the victim of domestic violence” would perk some interest.

      Best of luck.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    21. Profile photo of SaraMcD
      SaraMcD says
      September 2, 2014, 10:05 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      I’m intrigued, but as for a log line, don’t think this tells enough about what the story is. What kind of person is he? What are the stakes? Some indication of the story/plot? Great idea but needs more info.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
      Report user
    22. astrodavid says
      September 2, 2014, 9:30 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Excellent logline – about as BRIEF as one can make it, plus tells ENOUGH of the story while still leaving plenty of room for one to use their imagination for the POSSIBILITIES…..nice!

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    23. Zia_Marwat says
      August 30, 2014, 7:55 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      CAN BE NICE…..

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    24. TGVSpeed says
      August 29, 2014, 7:37 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Steven is the adaptation of my book, STEVEN, published in 2005. Anyone interested in a free e-copy should contact me via email and I will happily share it with you. And yes, the e-book is FREE!

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    25. Profile photo of GreekPower
      GreekPower says
      August 25, 2014, 5:05 pm

      I really enjoyed reading this logline. I would love to read the script.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    26. Profile photo of CastingCouch
      August 25, 2014, 4:32 pm

      My vote.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    27. Profile photo of CastingCouch
      August 25, 2014, 4:16 pm

      I would love to read this script. Sounds like an interesting concept and something that could change the game in Hollywood. Well written loglne and without pretense.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    28. Profile photo of DeeDee
      DeeDee says
      August 25, 2014, 4:05 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Outstanding!

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
      Report user
    29. Profile photo of leeoconnor
      leeoconnor says
      August 25, 2014, 3:53 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      Is this a Logline for a short? If it is Marv, write it. I’m intrigued.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
      • TGVSpeed says
        August 25, 2014, 4:48 pm

        Hi Lee, this is a book, the adapted script will be produced in 2015.

        VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        Report user
        • Profile photo of leeoconnor
          leeoconnor says
          August 29, 2014, 1:02 pm

          Brilliant, give me a nod when it is finished. Would love to see it.

          VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
          Report user
    30. Profile photo of coolhandsuss91
      August 22, 2014, 9:41 am
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      i like it but the idea needs to be fleshed out more

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
      Report user
      • Profile photo of GBland77
        GBland77 says
        August 22, 2014, 11:38 am

        Fleshed out more? Did you even read it before you wrote that? I’ve produced 8 films and this is likely the best logline on the board. This contest is the reason only industry pros should be voting.

        VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        Report user
    31. Profile photo of LesaSmalls
      LesaSmalls says
      August 19, 2014, 4:41 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      The premise sounds like it would make for an interesting script to read as well as movie to see.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
      Report user
    32. Profile photo of MoviemakerEli
      August 18, 2014, 10:34 pm

      I like the idea but wonder how it would play in the mainstream. Overall I like it.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
      Report user
    33. Profile photo of GBland77
      GBland77 says
      August 18, 2014, 9:50 pm

      Films such as this are a risk because Hollywood is male dominated, but the logline makes me want to read the script to see how well the writer handled such a difficult and sensitive subject. Well done!

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
      Report user
    34. Profile photo of FilmBuffer
      FilmBuffer says
      August 18, 2014, 9:47 pm

      Never seen a script like this before. Obviously ground-breaking if well cast. Certainly a high-concept logline. Simple and to the point. The visuals are already intriguing.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
      Report user
    35. Profile photo of Raffiki
      Raffiki says
      August 18, 2014, 9:44 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      High concept. I would love to read the script.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
      Report user

    Leave a Reply

    You must be logged in to post a comment.