Stan & Gary vs. The Dead
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Rating: 3.6/5 (16 votes cast)

Stan & Gary vs. The Dead

When a zombie outbreak hits Philadelphia, will best friends Stan and Gary be able to overcome their slacker ways, escape the city, and save their families? Eh, maybe they’ll get around to it.

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  1. February 17, 2013, 12:30 pm
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    I feel like zombies are being over used way too much now!

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    nspringer1 says
    February 1, 2013, 1:58 am
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    I would not watch this if it was a movie, what would the commercial look like?

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    says
    January 31, 2013, 11:39 pm
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    Wasn’t my thing.

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    G-rad says
    January 31, 2013, 10:13 pm
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    The makings of a cult classic.

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    danac707 says
    January 22, 2013, 2:27 pm
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    What a fun and funny read. Stan and Gary are great, well developed characters. Bravo!

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  6. December 31, 2012, 10:56 pm
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    I first began reading this and thought “oh no, ANOTHER Shaun of the Dead ripoff” but you made it your own and it holds up! I love this script and I’m a huge fan of zombie movies. So this for me was a very fun and enjoyable read. My only minor criticisms are that you write too much in the present progressive. You can only write in the present. Think of it this way, if you add ING to a word, 99% of the time its wrong. Remove the ING and add S. For example. Instead of saying “Stan is holding a rifle and Gary is holding a baseball bat,” write “Stan holds a rifle and Gary holds a baseball bat.”

    Also, in the dialogue, you can’t stretch words. So when you write Mmmmhhhhmmm, just write Mhm. Instead of writing NOOOOO! just write No! Think of when a pirate says Argh Matey! You dont write Aaaaaaargh Mateeeey!

    Also, you cannot write in all caps in dialogue ever in a script. If you need to emphasize a word, underline it. Dont all caps it or italicize.

    Other than those minor crittcisms, this is a very strong script, just needs a little more polishing. Best of luck! :)

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    sarah88 says
    November 1, 2012, 11:39 pm
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    A very enjoyable read! And funny!

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    Lidless says
    November 1, 2012, 6:21 am
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    This has the film reference as Shaun Of the Dead and Superbad. A more accurate description would be Shaun Of The Dead and Shaun Of The Dead, an Americanized version.

    Sometimes an American version is made of a foreign film – normally Asian – such as The Ring (a very close version) or The Magnificent Seven (looser version of Seven Samurai), but not of an already successful English language film. These versions can be fantastic.

    If the *inspiration* were an existing English language film but completely transplanted, such as West Side Story (Romeo and Juliet) and The Forbidden Planet (The Tempest), then it has great potential.

    Remakes abound of course, and they have differences to the original (Psycho none, Total Recall many) but the audience knows what it’s watching and it’s advertised as such.

    SOTD was such an original, comic and anarchic film that anything resembling it will compared unfavorably. The trouble is, this movie *very* *very* closely resembles it.

    Just as an American version of Four Weddings And A Funeral would fail at the box office, so would this.

    Presumably the author has attempted to distinguish the two scripts, but he has not succeeded in my eyes.

    A couple of small screenwriting errors:

    1 Never capitalize dialog – ever – underline if absolutely necessary.

    2 (CONT’D) should also be used when the same character continues talking after a minor action point.

    Other than that, very well formatted.

    I will concede that there is a chance my judgement is clouded by the fact that:
    I also have an entry in this category, and
    I love SOTD…

    …but I believe I would be critiquing this the same way in any case.

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    bsouls4 says
    October 31, 2012, 8:18 pm
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    It made me laugh. It’s not going to win any Academy Awards, but I can definitely see it becoming a cult hit.

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    ranger2 says
    October 29, 2012, 4:55 pm
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    I really did enjoy the script for the most part. I would’ve given higher scores if there was no Shaun of the Dead, even though this may even be better. I did enjoy the relationship between Stan and Gary. The dialogue was very crisp for the most part and I did laugh out loud twice. Which is a lot for me. I didn’t like how the script started, though. The wedding scene was not very interesting and unnecessary. Also, we never find out what caused the zombie situation…unless I missed it. That may have been intentional but I still would’ve liked to know, even if Stan or Gary don’t. Another thing that went over my head was all of the “Lost” references. I may be in the minority, but I’ve never watched the show. But I still can appreciate the humor behind them re-enacting that scene in the middle of the mayhem. I’m sure it would’ve been even funnier if I got the reference. Over all, I think that this script has major potential with a little tweeking. Well done.

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    October 23, 2012, 5:00 am
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    OMG this was so funny!!! Well done.

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  12. October 7, 2012, 2:24 pm
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    I absolutely love this script. I remember it being on here a long time ago. You’ve done some rewriting. But i loved it back then, and i love it now. OMG! This needs to be a movie.

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    venus says
    October 1, 2012, 3:11 pm

    I love this kind of script. It was genuinely funny and the real upside is that it’s in the middle of a zombie apocalypse (of sorts).

    This focuses more on normal young people who have many other things on their mind than fighting off the undead – but when they’re faced with that problem, they deal with it in a realistic way. I was entertained the whole time. I think the dialogue could use a little adjusting to make it flow a little easier at some points, but that being said, this seems like a great concept with a lot of upside to it.

    I’d love to see this made into a film eventually.

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    venus says
    October 1, 2012, 3:07 pm

    I love this kind of script. It was genuinely funny and the real upside is that it’s in the middle of a zombie apocalypse (of sorts).

    This focuses more on normal young people who have many other things on their mind than fighting off the undead – but when they’re faced with that problem, they deal with it in a realistic way. I was entertained the whole time. I think the dialogue could use a little adjusting to make it flow a little easier at some points, but that being said, this seems like a great concept with a lot of upside to it.

    I’d love to see this made into a film eventually.

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  15. October 1, 2012, 2:56 pm
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    I enjoyed the characters and dialogue. It made me want to keep reading. However the middle of the script did slow down for a little, but then picked back up for the third act.

    The main thing with this script is that I see a ton of potential. People love this kind of story. If the script gets a littleeeee tweaking here and there to tighten it up, this could be a real hit.

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    Zemarr says
    September 25, 2012, 11:53 pm
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    So the main problems with the script lie in the opening. I think everything has to just be established better. Stan and Gary need to stand out more in the very beginning like they do in the end.

    Good story idea. We need more Shauns of the Dead out there. This stands apart solely on the characters not really wanting to do anything until they have to, which is pretty funny.

    I think dialogue needs some work, mostly on looking through everything and deciding where to put more punch lines/ funny moments with the conversations. A lot of the times you have the set ups, and sometimes you have the jokes, but there are definitely parts where you need to just put that extra line in to get the laughs rolling.

    The story structure is pretty good and builds on itself pretty well. I only have a problem with the beginning because again the characters seem to be pretty similar. Anything that I didn’t comment on I guess didn’t really stick out in my mind. Just go over the dialogue.

    4/5

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    jusork says
    September 23, 2012, 4:19 pm
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    You’ve got the foundation of a great story here. I like the idea, especially the attempt to make it different than Shaun of the Dead. Stan and Gary definitely feel like great slacker guys and you establish it very well in the beginning. But you still need more. In particular, your story needs more story.

    A few confusing moments in your action description. One of the first is when he’s letting in the party people and you say he holds back Partygoer #2. Why does he hold him back? And when he knocks on Mickey’s door you say he goes on to the third floor but then starts talking to Mickey.

    Stan and Gary do seem interchangeable in the beginning. Gary does not sound like the more confident version of Stan. They both seem very confident and talkative. Maybe that could’ve been the point, and if so, I think it’d be a good idea as two equal slackers working through this, but if so, why did you differentiate them in the beginning. And as the script goes, you start to make Stan into more of the leader, which messes that up, too, as well as the whole slacker aspect in the comedy.

    There’s a very specific tone in their dialogue that you keep consistent very well. It’s very casual which I thinks fits, and most of the humor in it is in how extremely carefree and rapid it’s said, as if they’re not even really thinking when they talk. If it’s acted that way, it could work well. As it goes on though, it gets pretty dumb, with Gary making really dumb, pointless “jokes.”

    The whole slacking off on the roof kind of goes off. Not because it’s off the story but because it’s not established why they need to be up there. I know one of them says something about being stuck, but that’s really a useless reason. It feels like you just said an excuse for them to do nothing on the roof during your story. Perhaps it should be because they think they can wait it out safely. I think that would be the slacker thing to do. And then when they say, why hasn’t anybody cleaned this up, it’d be funnier than if they just said it. Know what I mean?

    Don’t really understand their plan or their intentions with the gun. So the whole portion after they suddenly decide to find their parents seems particularly pointless and lost. What motivated them to do all that work to get that gun?

    I don’t think you established very well why they can’t get out through the apartment front door. There are two zombie in the way who they could probably defeat, especially since they have a gun. I wouldn’t think they’d go into so much extra work. If the comedy is in that they’re over-thinking everything, then it’s not coming across well, I think because they (at least Stan) seems to genuinely be thinking.

    I realized as they were trying to escape that I didn’t really understand what their goal was. They’re trying to find their parents before their parents find them? That’s what I got.

    Half-way through you really start to loose a lot of comedy. You just have them running around, going with their usual humorous back and forth. It doesn’t help that not much has really happened in the way of story either. Just because its a comedy doesn’t mean it shouldn’t have a good story pulling us through. Even seeing them wandering through the zombie world, looking for something, would probably be funnier than seeing them go on these little missions through the buildings. Imagine two slackers wandering through the typical dangerous zombie world we usually see in zombie films. I’d enjoy that better.

    I don’t think either of them have changed as characters even though I think you intended them to when they lead their families to safety. Gary’s still an idiot and it just felt like Stan got suddenly smart and careful when the zombies came. There was no motivation or inciting incident. There was also no real motivation for their new-found heroics, I think, especially Stan. I know they like their family, but Stan starts becoming very intense. Overall, it just needs to be developed better. Maybe we need to be seeing Stan’s changing mindset as he goes more.

    I think you could’ve established better that Stan is very familiar with zombie movies and that it was helping them early on. It wasn’t until later that that was important. I got that he watched a lot of 24 though.

    Why did Stan get shot in the shoulder?

    I thought this was a comedy. The ending had nothing funny. They just got back together and drove off. Especially annoying because the reason she got bit was because of a stupid reason. Not sure what the point of her going outside was storywise other than getting Charlotte bit. Surely you could just have a window broken in.

    Speaking of the ending, why do they have to go into Gary’s house to get a car? Stan’s parents don’t have a car? Even if it was a small car, they could’ve taken two. Seemed like another attempt to create more pointless action in order to add in more storyline filler into your story. You need to find a story and build it up.

    Loved the Lost reference by the way, as I do with all Lost references.

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    jjcj3113 says
    September 12, 2012, 10:43 pm
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    I’ll have to admit, the dialog was so bad, it made the script funny. I don’t know if that was the authors intent or not.

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