Slowing Down
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Rating: 2.6/5 (12 votes cast)

Slowing Down

A group of young boys with ADHD had to lean how to live through detention after they are jailed for tring to help a friend and stealing a car.

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  1. Profile photo of Elijahd
    Elijahd says
    April 19, 2015, 4:30 pm
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    The title needs some work

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  2. susanv1 says
    September 13, 2014, 5:24 pm
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    It could be the start of something good. Good luck!

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  3. Profile photo of baldym
    baldym says
    June 19, 2013, 8:23 pm
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    sounds depressing.

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  4. Profile photo of zpanzarella1
    January 27, 2013, 2:33 pm
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    As pointed out already the logline needs to be edited. But this could end up a good story.

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  5. January 11, 2013, 7:08 pm
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    Log line needs editing. Overall sounds as if this could be a good story.

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  6. mikeyz says
    October 31, 2012, 11:09 am
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    I’m so sorry … I totally forgot to rate in my previous review.
    Please accept my apologies and thanks.

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  7. mikeyz says
    October 31, 2012, 11:06 am

    Can’t help but comment on the spelling and grammar since that’s the first thing that stands out — needs to be re-edited. Also, I am not clear if the boys are helping this friend steal a car or not — the sentence structure is a bit confusing as to the meaning. I do really like your premise however even though the picture provided does look suspiciously similar to the one used in “The Outsiders” … LOL!

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  8. gregorj says
    August 31, 2012, 9:21 pm
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    Perhaps with a better logline, the story stnopsis would merit a higher overall rating.

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  9. Profile photo of tserlin
    tserlin says
    August 25, 2012, 7:35 pm
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    A little editing needed to get it straight – and present tense. I like the premise but it needs some emotional element and trim down to bare essentials. Good start!

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  10. Profile photo of jusork
    jusork says
    August 24, 2012, 5:30 pm
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    I assume this is juvenile detention? Be clear.
    Thinking about it more closely, I also assume they’re stealing a car to help a friend. Be clear with that, too.

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  11. Profile photo of jimmymcdaide
    August 4, 2012, 12:24 pm
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    Interesting premise here. Tighten up the grammar and delivery of your logline and you’ll be on your way

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  12. July 16, 2012, 1:12 pm
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    Good concept for having a special needs character.

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  13. rickemg says
    July 13, 2012, 8:27 am
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    Tring or trying. This logline needs some rewriting. Spell check. With that in mind, the concept is good just not enough data to tell me the story.

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