Six Faces
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Rating: 3.2/5 (4 votes cast)

Six Faces

A cynical policewoman must realize that the people she serves are worth saving in order to stop a growing hoard of ultra-passionate addicts who cause chaos and destruction in a small town in order to return to their mysterious drug.

Monologue For Actors: Page 40

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  1. Profile photo of normanwilliam
    October 26, 2012, 1:26 am
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    A very decent script and a quick read! Work on character arc and growth and tighten up on the dialogue in your rewrite.

    Good Job

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      jusork says
      October 27, 2012, 5:41 pm

      Please read my rewrite in the actual script contest. I did some major work on the character arc that I could use some feedback on. Thanks for reading and rating this one though.

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  2. October 1, 2012, 2:05 am
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    It takes a long time to get the story going. Since a number of characters are introduced in the beginning, it’s not clear that Valerie is the main character until about page 15 of the story. Also, a lot of the dialogue sounds like speeches or is very expository, rather than like real conversation. I also found there is just too much description in the action that slows down the story. It also isn’t immediately clear what the cube is, and the script seems very scattered with a lot of scenes with many different characters. It might be better to tighten the focus to Valerie, so there is one main person to focus on as the protagonist.

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      jusork says
      October 15, 2012, 9:19 am

      Thanks for the much needed feedback. I’ve already made some edits that addressed a lot of your points and entered that version into the official screenplay contest. I do struggle though with the characters at the beginning because their stories are also important so I wanted to introduce them very basically, but understand too that Valerie isn’t the main character until page 15 or so. I did mean for the storyline to be chaotic and I meant for the cube to be mysterious, slowly learned about as it goes. But I understand the issues, too.

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    jjcj3113 says
    July 28, 2012, 12:20 am
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    I did not understand the story. Why was it never revealed as to what the cube was and why everyone went crazy when they looked into it.

    There was way to much action/description for a screenplay, making for a very long and difficult read.

    I just didn’t get it. sorry.

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      jusork says
      July 28, 2012, 10:32 am

      Thanks for the frank feedback. It definitely got me thinking about how I can tighten it up. I also thought I hinted at what the cube was enough, but maybe not. I’ve worked on making some clarifications. I could definitely use more feedback like yours.

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      jusork says
      July 28, 2012, 10:39 am

      I was surprised though you gave my grammar, structure, and character each one star. I couldn’t tell the issues you had with them in your review so if you wouldn’t mind clarifying, that’d be appreciated. I guess I’m not sure what else you’re confused about. I’ve always felt like my storyline and characters were pretty clear anyway.

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        jjcj3113 says
        July 31, 2012, 10:48 pm

        Hi Justin,

        I’m going to have to re-read your script. Give me a couple days and I will go into more detail. It was late at night when I read it the first time and rated it.

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    reytherey says
    June 25, 2012, 12:00 am
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    Clever story, engaging characters (Dr. Tinel is a madman!), patient delivery. I enjoyed this one.

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