The Shyster
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Rating: 4.0/5 (5 votes cast)

The Shyster

An orphan is taken in by a gang of criminals in Northeast Philly and grows up to lead them in a turf war with the Russian Mafia.

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  1. Profile photo of berger
    berger says
    July 4, 2012, 3:06 pm
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    The setting is great, very authentic and stylized at the same time. However, the script leans too much on Nick’s narration and the scenes, especially in the first 20 pages, feel more like snippets. So, the overall effect is more of a montage than a story. I don’t see any need for narration. It’s better to see his relationship with Mickey and the others develop rather than being told about it in voice over. It would help to have Nick state a goal up front so that whatever else happens, we know that that’s the thread that we’re following. A good comparison is THE GODFATHER. Michael states very clearly in the opening wedding scene that he doesn’t want to be a part of his family’s crime business. A lot of other things happen with a lot of other interesting characters. However, we always have Michael’s goal to unify the other events. It’s a satisfying irony that his success as the new don is also his failure to achieve his original goal. In your case, it seems the story should have to do with Nick’s relationship with Mickey. You refer to his promise of loyalty late in the script, but you should make it specific and put it in the first 10 pages.

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    • Profile photo of perloff
      perloff says
      July 4, 2012, 7:18 pm

      Thanks for reading Alex. I appreciate the feedback.

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    tserlin says
    June 29, 2012, 8:51 pm

    On second though – and after a near altercation – I have changed my rating.

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    tserlin says
    June 29, 2012, 4:18 pm
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    Strong piece of work. Gritty and emotional with strong dialogue. Viceral and nice touches add a sense of authenticity and grittiness that works well with a project like this. The character build-up set amidst the gang and social elements is good. Nice job!

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      perloff says
      June 29, 2012, 4:44 pm

      You’re comments are so complimentary yet you gave the script a 3 out of 5 overall??? I want to know what you didn’t like about it? What would make it a 5 out of 5 in your opinion? Thanks for reading.

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  4. wardparry says
    June 27, 2012, 11:05 pm
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    I loved this. The juice is in the dialogue. So authentic I started to wonder who the writer was in the narrative.

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      perloff says
      June 28, 2012, 2:42 am

      Thank you for reading, Ward. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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  5. rickemg says
    May 18, 2012, 1:36 pm
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    I enjoyed this piece, it made for a good read. Nick walks through the story well and leaves you with the feelings and emotions of Mickey. Scott, I believe that this would make a good movie with your typical sterio-typed actors like Ray Liotta, DeNiro and of course Joe Pesci.

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    seanery7 says
    May 17, 2012, 8:37 pm

    Strong dynamics at work here, the combination of the location (Philly) and the Russian mafia (presumably in this country) and the protagonist/anti-hero having no blood ties to family, only devotion to his own gang. But what ethnic background is the gang made up of?

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    • admin says
      May 19, 2012, 4:07 am

      Please note: This review is solely based off the logline. Star voting has not been taken into consideration for this review. Thank you.

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    • Profile photo of perloff
      perloff says
      June 10, 2012, 4:03 am

      Sorry for not getting back to you sooner, sean. The gang is made up of Russian Jews. It’s essentially a gangster movie. Like Goodfellas or The Godfather. Give it a read. You’re gonna like it!

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  7. Profile photo of perloff
    perloff says
    May 8, 2012, 4:57 am
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    A gritty and authentic character-driven crime drama.

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