Seeds We Sow
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Rating: 2.7/5 (24 votes cast)

Seeds We Sow

David meets his sole mate at work, she’s a bank teller and he’s a bank robber.  An unlikely event brings them together, a bullet separates them.

 

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  1. Dartistman says
    January 22, 2016, 10:29 pm
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    sounds stereotype. Maybe you should switch the roles make him the bank teller and she the robber give the story a bit more of an interesting flare. Romantic comedy def would work here.
    That’s where I would take it.

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  2. ebabe says
    November 1, 2015, 4:13 pm
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    ? What is this about???

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  3. Profile photo of geds625
    geds625 says
    June 5, 2015, 11:08 am
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    The logline does not flow smoothly. However, with revision it can give a solid backdrop for the story!

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  4. Novelist56 says
    April 3, 2015, 1:26 pm
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    Turn it to romance comedy and you might have something.

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  5. toojazzy says
    September 20, 2014, 10:39 am
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    The avatar/icon seems a mismatch with the log line. I love the concept teller falls for bank robber or perhaps months later she goes out on a date and realizes he is the bank robber but she really likes him by that point.

    Tighten up log-line…and you have something

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  6. Vapit says
    September 6, 2014, 11:49 am
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    It has been done before.

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  7. Profile photo of Frank-DAngelo
    February 11, 2014, 9:30 am
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    David meets his sole mate at work, she’s a bank teller and he’s a bank robber. An unlikely event brings them together, a bullet separates them.

    Sounds like there is some room for comedy here. I would lean towards exploring a dramedy. I love the first part of the logline. Almost says it all.

    I would image robbing a bank is an unlikely event. The bullet reference is to cryptic, you need to explore what that entails, as clearly as you did with meeting your sole mate while your robbing them – bank teller vs bank robber, great recipe for a story.

    Huge potential.

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  8. February 11, 2014, 1:28 am
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    Sounds like a great story…

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  9. August 5, 2013, 11:07 pm
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    oops sorry forgot the rating thing again. I do agree with some suggestions on here..reverse the gender roles and make it a comedy. I think it could be terribly interesting as a black comedy.

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  10. August 5, 2013, 11:05 pm

    interesting concept but the cartoon pic does not say drama.
    It is soul not sole.
    The sentences do not flow.

    Suggestion: When a ruthless bank robber holds up a shy, lonely bank teller………

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  11. Profile photo of baldym
    baldym says
    June 19, 2013, 8:38 pm
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    I like the concept.

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  12. April 28, 2013, 2:06 am
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    lacks originality

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  13. Profile photo of DarrinReay
    DarrinReay says
    March 21, 2013, 7:38 pm
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    Sounds good! Probably something I would go and see.

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  14. Profile photo of Double-Bogey
    March 5, 2013, 9:55 am
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    “Soul mate”, not “sole mate”.

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  15. Profile photo of nkarcher
    nkarcher says
    November 15, 2012, 2:45 pm
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    Good start but the logline needs some major re-working. First, it should at least be grammatical – then it would be easier to understand. For “sole” read “soul.” Also, avoid giving names in a logline – “David.” Instead, tell me the kind of person David is – something like this: “A bank robber meet a bank-teller in the course of a robbery. They become soul-mates and only a bullet separated them.”

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  16. Profile photo of MattLove
    MattLove says
    October 14, 2012, 7:36 am
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    A comedy ‘The Town’? Could be good.

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  17. Profile photo of
    says
    September 14, 2012, 5:30 pm
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    Sounds like a comedy version of The Town.

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  18. paul says
    September 3, 2012, 3:40 pm
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    The idea might be good, but the logline sounds like you’re giving away the entire story in one go. There’s nothing here that makes me wonder what it is all about. The logline also doesn’t give me any objectives, but I like the idea of the bank teller and bank robber.

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  19. Profile photo of
    says
    July 6, 2012, 8:10 pm
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    As I mentioned above, this would make a great tagline. It’s intriguing that this is not a comedy, which makes me want to see it all that much more. And, I suggest exploring reversing the gender roles.

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  20. July 5, 2012, 10:23 pm
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    Tons of potential. The logline is good. Says it like it is. Good job.

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    tserlin says
    June 28, 2012, 9:43 pm

    Re-read this and it feels like a re-work of the town – flipping sexes. Is it? The pairing is great, nonetheless. The notion of a bullet separating them is evocative – but totally unclear and vague at the same time. This would be cool in a tagline – but not so much in a logline – because you introduced the bank robber element already. Just a few thoughts. But sounds like a winner!

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  22. Profile photo of tserlin
    tserlin says
    June 21, 2012, 7:16 pm
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    Certainly an interesting pairing of characters. The logline isn’t exacly clear after the first line. Maybe rethink and make it sound utterly original.

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  23. says
    May 27, 2012, 9:41 pm
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    I like the combo of the thief and teller getting together. I think it’s interesting you mark it as drama, rather than comedy. If it were marked comedy I would have graded it lower because it would seem to me derivative of all else we’ve seen. Yet drama makes it interesting.

    The logline itself is a combination of a logline and a tagline. The final sentence is what you would see on a movie poster to sound cool. For a logline, each word needs to efficiently evoke emotion while giving the pertinent information about the screenplay. Protagonist, conflict, antagonist, stakes. We have to have a sense what our hero will experience on his/her way to final resolution, so we can decide if it’s the kind of story we would like to read.

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  24. cynosurer says
    May 9, 2012, 11:41 pm
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    ‘Sole’ won’t get flagged in a spell check but as it is a bank and not a shoe store or fish market he may want to switch to ‘soul’… or move it over to the comedy section.

    The first line could use a little more something not sure what… other than a semicolon instead of a comma.

    Second line is a bit too cryptic, like a hook without any bait… and it also needs a semicolon instead of a comma.

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    • Profile photo of
      says
      July 6, 2012, 8:08 pm

      I agree with you on the grammatical/punctuational end of things especially, for me, the semicolon. I’ll also point out that I believe most today use “soulmate” as one word, but “soul mate” is perfectly acceptable.

      Aside from that, I agree it would make a great tagline. I hadn’t noticed that this was classified as a drama, so I too find it intriguing that it’s not a comedy. Makes me want to see it all that much more.

      Without knowing the story, I would be interested in seeing the gender roles reversed, but I can’t say for sure without reading the script/seeing the movie.

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  25. Profile photo of ed65love
    ed65love says
    April 14, 2012, 3:08 am
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    It does sound derivative, yet also interesting. How is it different from what we’ve already seen?

    Please check your spelling next time, readers will get upset if it’s not spelled right.

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  26. Profile photo of scottmar
    scottmar says
    April 10, 2012, 7:20 pm
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    It sounds like “The Town”.

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