Secrets of the Lost Scrolls
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Rating: 3.0/5 (11 votes cast)

Secrets of the Lost Scrolls

Vampires ravage the kingdom of Avignon. That is until something darker is revealed, and the very existence of humankind and vampires now depend on a middle age army general who will stop at nothing to protect the king he serves and the family he loves.

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  1. tinisha says
    September 16, 2014, 3:12 pm
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    The logline seems long and not focused. “Something darker is revealed.” I get that you don’t want to give away what is darker, but this statement doesn’t do much. I do like “the very existence of humankind and vampires depend on a middle age army general…” However, I’m trying to figure out what is different between your story and other vampire movies. I think the “something darker is revealed,” may give me this, but somehow you may need to reveal something unique in the logline so I’m like, “okay wow this is different, this is unique, I want to know more.”

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  2. Chidi says
    March 29, 2014, 11:25 am
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    Too wordy but got potential. Hook not well defined.

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  3. April 2, 2013, 11:25 am
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    It sounds like Blade revisted…
    With the popularity of vampire movies right now, it could have some potential; however, it will need to have an extremely strong dialogue and some new type of interesting twist because “mixed hero” (vampire/wolf/human) has been done several times with Blade, Underworld, etc. Nevertheless as a vampire movie fan it did catch my attention.

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  4. Westule says
    March 24, 2013, 10:11 am
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    It appears to be a new spin on the vampire genre of movies. It sounds like and interesting concept, and it makes me wonder what the greater threat it.

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  5. hingylingy says
    February 13, 2013, 9:01 pm
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    Tell me about the scrolls, that got my attention.
    Does a scroll tie into the plot of your story somehow?
    Also, vampires are becoming a little to overused these days, don’t you think?
    Plus where is Avignon, is it on planet earth?

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  6. Profile photo of
    says
    January 12, 2013, 9:14 am
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    Logline is a bit verbose, as paulmailhot says you could scrap part of the background and make me a bit more curious about what’s going to happen to the protagonist: “He will stop t nothing” could probably be replaced by sth. less generic and more dramatic.

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    says
    September 14, 2012, 5:26 pm
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    A good start but it needs an awesome script. It has undertones of the Underworld series.

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  8. Profile photo of benjjjamin
    benjjjamin says
    August 6, 2012, 11:37 pm
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    Nice.

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  9. says
    August 3, 2012, 6:11 pm
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    I don’t think the log line provides the pow you want because of its length and the fact you do not connect the stakes to the protagonist, you connect it to the kingdom.

    My suggestion is begin your log with the officer facing a problem with dire stakes so he must act to an achieve an outcome.

    Don’t put the story “set-up” in a log. Vampires ravage a kingdom is backstory we don’y need if you give us the info we want strategically worded in the log.

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  10. Profile photo of jimmymcdaide
    August 3, 2012, 10:58 am
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    Long – but yeah!

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  11. rickemg says
    August 3, 2012, 10:23 am
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    Vampires. Vampires. The renewed genre via Twilight francise. This screams of Blade 3 and if done well, the familiar will bring the crowds of tweens and teens.

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