Second Lunch More Images
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Rating: 4.0/5 (6 votes cast)

Second Lunch

Attractive, spinster, junior high English teacher suspects the new counselor of being her long-dead college boyfriend.  His appearance, as well as the unsolicited romantic attentions of a Math teacher, upset her neatly organized “single” life.   An ensemble cast lends a humorous telling of this dramedy.

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  1. Profile photo of SamF
    SamF says
    July 13, 2013, 2:55 am
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    This is a well written script. I mean it’s all there the way a script should be written. All it took was a few lines to realize that I would enjoy this read. The teachers are adults through and through, clever dialogue. In fact the dialogue is constantly refreshing. The students exist in their own world. Adjacent to but vastly different from the teachers.

    A lot of effort went into each character both teachers and students. The diversity is a tremendous and everyone stays within their persona.

    Tightly written. There are no gaps. Every scene flows into the next. That’s hard to do and I’m truly impressed by it.

    Where’s the plot, the drama, the conflict? These pages contain a beautifully constructed script. At the end I’m left with Cathy and Larry’s romance, nothing of note… Jason/Terry coming and going without an explanation… and a few minor subplots.

    You have nailed down the art of screenwriting, 100%. Do it again. But take it to the next level in storytelling.

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    mcaseyg117 says
    July 9, 2013, 7:24 pm
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    Script had intelligent dialogue. Concept was fairly original. Each character perfectly complimented one another throughout the whole script.

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    arhein2223 says
    July 8, 2013, 8:34 pm
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    arhein2223 says
    July 6, 2013, 10:06 am

    Your writing is totally excellent. This script flowed nicely from start to finish. Some grammar errors, with important action caps used in some places, and not in others. Nothing huge though.

    Dialogue was perfect, in my opinion, and extremely clever at times. Characters fueled your script as well. All were written to perfection.

    I also like that you don’t 100% reveal if Jason and Terry are one in the same. Unless I missed something. I think it’s awesome that you (or maybe just me) don’t 100% reveal this. I like the “what if” factor.

    Very nice read, and an incredible script.

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    arhein2223 says
    July 6, 2013, 10:01 am

    Your writing is totally excellent. This script flowed nicely from start to finish. Some grammar errors, with important action caps used in some places, and not in others. Nothing huge though.

    Dialogue was perfect, in my opinion, and extremely clever at times. Characters fueled your script as well. All were written to perfection.

    I also like that you don’t 100% reveal if Jason and Terry are one in the same. Unless I missed something. I think it’s awesome that you (or maybe just me) don’t 100% reveal this. I like the “what if” factor.

    Very nice read, and an incredible script.

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  6. ssabatino says
    June 30, 2013, 8:35 pm

    Hi SplitLocked:
    Your comments and questions are exactly the feedback I require. As the writer, I am too familiar with the story to determine a ‘first time’ reaction. Please see your messages for my explanation.

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  7. June 29, 2013, 9:17 pm
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    Hello, Sondra. I just read your script last night. I enjoyed this script a lot. And I think Mikeyz says everything that needs to be said. I, too was wonder if Jason and Terry were one and the same. I think they are — it just seems to fit. I mean why would he want her diary anyway if he wasn’t? unless he was trying to help her move on, but that seems sort of weird to me. Also, if they are the same — Why did Terry fake his death, why did he leave her?

    Anyway, loved the script.

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  8. mikeyz says
    June 28, 2013, 1:39 pm
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    A beautifully written piece Sandra … very well done!
    My kind of story — thoughtful and poignant, driven largely by smart dialogue with little in the way of action sequences.
    As 90% of it is set within the confines of a school setting (namely, the staff lunchroom), I reckon this could probably be made with a very modest budget indeed!
    Great character study in Cathy, Larry and Jason in particular. I love the way you added in the kids — Brittany, Ajay, Destiny … all compelling young characters. The coaching of Ajay by Larry or Jason (I forget who) on life-lessons and how to get the girl — simply adorable. The song quoting Victor — memorable and hilarious (“Casey Jones you better watch your speed!” – my favorite!)
    LOVED the “Human equation” metaphor sequence between Larry and Cathy in the classroom – friggen brilliant piece of writing!
    The confession sequence near the end in which Larry and Cathy tell the staff about their relationship is equally smart in it’s execution.
    Explain to me what you mean by Brad’s “store-bought good looks” — I love the reference but I’m not quite sure of the meaning!
    Few grammatical errors but nothing major: pg. 18 – “Laugh out loAd”; pg. 67 – “We cannot ignoreD that.” Plus you cap some verbs in the description sequences but don’t in others so I thought there was a bit of inconsistency there in terms of formatting.
    So here’s my stupid question cos I admit I was a bit confused Sandra: are Jason and Terry one in the same?! I’m wanting to say “yes” but I can’t with 100% certainty!
    In short – find a buyer Sandra and some talented actors and get this thing made! 20 grand would probably cover it I would think … LOL!

    Very nicely done! Absolutely loved it!

    Best,

    Mike.

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  9. ssabatino says
    June 27, 2013, 5:14 pm

    Thank you, Adam. I will take your suggestions seriously. FYI, I whittled this script down – over a three year period – from 130 pages! So, you can bet there were more scenes and more information.

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  10. rhino4239 says
    June 19, 2013, 9:13 pm
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    Sandra,

    Well done. Very well done.

    Your writing at times is just absolutely fantastic. The flashback scenes are very appropriate, flow well, and are placed in perfect spots.

    I think my favorite scene was on Page 55, when Larry is talking about his ex from Staten Island. I laughed out loud. An absolute fantastic scene. I also liked the Ajay/Brittany moments toward the end.

    I did want to see/hear more about Jason. I thought he could be added just a little more. But where he was added, was done very well.

    Dialogue was either so damn good, that it couldn’t get any better, or it seemed a little bit forced. Mostly really good.

    Characters were all very well developed.

    Only a few things were catching my attention, as far as the grammar. I would use all caps when an important action is taking place. At least, that’s what I’ve been instructed to do, and what I’ve seen in other scripts I have read. Other than that, there were only very minor errors…but you do need a Cover Page.

    Great Job!!!!!

    Adam

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