Scroll Forward
User Rating:
VN:RO [1.9.17_1161]
Overall
Story Potential
Hook
Rating: 3.2/5 (13 votes cast)

Scroll Forward

A time traveler dies and awakens on a remote planet where no one has memories; he has flashbacks of earth and seeks to escape a ruthless regime to make the impossible trek home to his lost love.

18 Comments

Leave A Reply
  1. Profile photo of WolfO
    WolfO says
    May 4, 2016, 1:45 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Concept intriguing but logline confusing. Is he dead? If so, what does escape mean?

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  2. Profile photo of
    says
    January 31, 2016, 10:19 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Yes. There’s potential here. But, the ‘lost love’ seems tacked on.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  3. leroysm says
    January 26, 2016, 1:44 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Seems like a lot going on. Your hero has a lot in front of him.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  4. Profile photo of SeanKeyter
    SeanKeyter says
    May 12, 2015, 7:50 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I like the idea a lot

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  5. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
    April 29, 2015, 4:08 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I like the concept but the logline is still too vague.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  6. roknsrf says
    April 17, 2015, 3:27 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    A very intriguing concept, and therein is the hook, life after death. It begs the question, “is he in hell?” Certainly, a dominion ruled by ruthless regime. To escape from such a place would be very nearly impossible, a science fictional purgatory if you will. What would the formula be for a release from his purgatory? I like every possible answer to the questions this logline invokes. Science fiction with complex metaphysical overtones, really good stuff.

    On a different note: you left a comment, I can only surmise was an attempt at humor, after a review and other comments I left on the page of the screenplay, “The Bigger Story.” I don’t feel that these types of jabs accomplish anything other than to incite the type of retaliation you are already dealing with from other writers, i.e. KuramoBay. Now, maybe you feel some vindication for your actions since he got tagged by admin, but we both know why he did what he did as well as what you did to encourage him. The fact of the matter is, I am a writer, and a finalist in this years screenplay contest. My issues with The Bigger Story are that it was allowed into the contest under dubious circumstances. Furthermore, the quality of the script and the professional credentials of its writer have me questioning the validity of this contest. Like your logline here, I gave John Sparano an honest review of his work in order to establish a level of respect and truth that would enable a forthright basis for meaningful dialogue, as well as, avoid the pettiness of the tit for tat bickering, negative one line reviews, and idiotic comments that stain this contest. I am taking the time to explain this to you because I would like for you, and anyone else who has an interest in the legitimacy of these contests, to take a look at the questions I have raised concerning these issues involving The Bigger Story’s admission into the contest after the stated deadline, its failure to have competed in any of the Online Contests, and the bizarre notion of it being the sole finalist from an “Offline Contest” (with, apparently, a completely different set of unstated and unverifiable rules) that none of the rest of the Online contestants were privy to nor allowed to participate in. As far as how your comment about me is concerned, no hard feelings. I would just like to say to every contestant that all of us here could benefit far more from a thorough and honest review of our work, be it positive or negative, than all of these lazy one line reviews and comments that are doing more harm than good.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  7. toojazzy says
    November 29, 2014, 8:27 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Consider the time traveler falls asleep or some sort of half awake trance….and then is in another era.

    Questions to ask:

    1. Why is the trek home impossible if he was able to just wake up in a new place/era so easily.
    2. Ruthless regime denotes vengeance, anger, remembrance of past wrongs, but the people don’t have a memory…how does that work

    3. What caused his time travel? Was he going into the past or future looking for something? Maybe a cure for disease, lost family, adventure, past life?

    This was originally posted a while ago, so I am sure you have worked out the glitches based upon others recommendations.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  8. September 19, 2014, 12:49 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I Like it , good luck

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  9. Profile photo of KuramoBay
    KuramoBay says
    August 2, 2014, 5:20 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    This logline still needs more work.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
    • hingylingy says
      August 4, 2014, 4:29 pm

      you are a joke dude

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
    • admin says
      August 4, 2014, 4:36 pm

      @KuramoBay we support constructive criticism only here. Please add additional feedback to support this. Thanks for your cooperation.

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  10. Profile photo of hhusted
    hhusted says
    August 1, 2014, 1:54 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    The logline doesn’t make much sense. If the person died, there’s no way he could have landed on another planet, or even could go back to his loved ones. If he got in his time machine and landed on the planet and then had to fight his way to the time machine so he could go back, would have been more plausible.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
    • hingylingy says
      August 2, 2014, 3:08 am

      you are not supposed to try to figure out what you don’t know in a log line, it is supposed to compel you to ask questions. Plus, who ever said there was a time machine?

      What if death opens another door, what if, what if what if??

      Judge the log line on its own merits, not what you cannot fathom.

      J

      VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      Report user
  11. Profile photo of a-dominick
    a-dominick says
    July 1, 2014, 3:14 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Love the title. Would prefer to know what time period this is in the logline and a bit more clarity (albeit succinct) regards the mysterious ruthless regime. Keep it up :)

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  12. July 1, 2014, 4:21 am

    This logline is well written. It would be nice if the time traveler were stuck in a loop but other than that it looks clean.

    This logline has story potential.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  13. May 14, 2014, 9:51 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Well written and to the point. I like science fiction and this seems to have great potential.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  14. hingylingy says
    January 9, 2014, 12:02 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Just want to get this out there and have everybody give there feedback please.

    Thanks everybody!!

    Jay

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  15. hingylingy says
    January 6, 2014, 11:15 am

    Hi, I am posting here to get things going with my log line.
    It looks like the grading apparatus is the wrong one here.

    Anyway, please jump in and rate me!

    Thanks

    Jay

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.