Party On
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Rating: 1.2/5 (2 votes cast)

Party On

After reuniting, mensa-level twins decide to rob the Money Boat. It’s Party-On Patty’s idea but her fratenal twin brother, Pat, upgrades.

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  1. wardparry says
    September 17, 2012, 10:42 pm

    I have to say, having read the first two reviews I can’t wait to read this script in full. I managed to have a sneak peek at page 1 and 2, and my excitement has blown out of proportion. This is either stoner genius or mentally unhinged psychopathy…Either way, I can’t wait to find out which? Score you when I’m done. WP

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  2. September 17, 2012, 7:37 pm
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    WOW!! WTF???? I am at a complete loss for words. I have to agree with YoPauly here, I hate to leave a negative review, but I can't find one thing positive to say about it! I couldn't understand anything about the script, it did seem like words were just thrown in places. There was terrible pacing when you could understand what the writer was talking about. I would recommend that you seek an outside editor and also try reading your work out loud to yourself to check both the pacing and the flow of the script itself. This screenplay needs a major overhaul! 

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  3. Yopauly75 says
    September 16, 2012, 1:49 pm
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    I hate having to write a bad review but I'm afraid with this particular script I'm going to have to. The dialogue was REALLY bad (I'm talking really bad). I'm not even sure what I was reading. It was as if random words were thrown together. The writer needs to seek out an outside editor. Also, if your writing on Final Draft, use the Speech Control feature which will allow the computer to read it to you (it's a weird computer voice, but at least it will help figure out where you need help).

    As far as the story is concerned, I not even sure what to say . . . without readable dialogue it's totally illegible. My only guess is that English is not your native language or there is something here I'm not catching. I'm sorry for the strong review but it's all to for the greater good. I hope the next draft turns out better. Best of luck.

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