Oscar
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Rating: 3.8/5 (27 votes cast)

Oscar

A young barn Swallow named Oscar whose afraid of heights must learn how to fly to go south before the winter to rejoin his family.

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    1. Echaka95 says
      June 5, 2017, 7:00 pm
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      awww this could be such a great animation!!! curious. where is the antagonist?

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      • Profile photo of raydavenport
        June 5, 2017, 10:19 pm

        Hey Echaka95,

        Thanks for the comment, I did however made some changes to this idea. In the logline​ I mentioned him being a Barn Swallow putting him in the country on the farm and named him Oscar.

        I thought I would change him into a Barn Owl and name him ARCHIE instead of Oscar in the country on a farm and he talks with a country/ southern accent like the Tow Truck character on the animated CARS movie.

        A city slicker pigeon, a motherly chicken, even a Ghetto Squirrel and a few other farm animals are pitching in to help. But I still have not started the script yet, still research on children stuff.

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    2. Profile photo of Abdelouahab
      September 21, 2016, 6:45 pm
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      I suggest another title; Hi, Oscar (playing on HIGH and HI)

      The premisse is promissing but would gain in a little bit reworked.

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    3. Profile photo of rvgoya
      rvgoya says
      April 25, 2016, 11:43 am
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      an owl who is afraid of heights…good idea…reminds me of “chicken run” which was an out standing movie…keep plugging away at it.

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    4. Profile photo of
      says
      April 7, 2016, 1:34 am
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      not bad. Title does not convey genre, idea, or premise

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    5. March 11, 2016, 10:46 am
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      It reminded some of the brilliant animation movies I watched.

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    6. Profile photo of Rana
      Rana says
      March 3, 2016, 10:37 am
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      Like it

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    7. Profile photo of storbang
      storbang says
      February 23, 2016, 7:07 pm
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      This holds up to any Pixar or Disney animated feature.

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    8. hingylingy says
      February 8, 2016, 11:24 pm
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      this is a premise…the big question is really: Or what?
      Why do we even care about Oscar? I don’t mean to be harsh, but the only aspect of this that is remotely interesting is that a bird is afraid of heights…so their is a little irony..but what else. Now if Oscar was a genius that maps out the route for the other swallows…and then it is revealed that he cannot fly to the first check point…they are now all in trouble…

      You see where I am going with this. Broaden the scope and raise the stakes.

      J

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    9. December 17, 2015, 1:40 am
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      A nice animated family comedy. :)

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    10. Profile photo of ChristieLove
      November 20, 2015, 3:04 am
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      Has potential. With much creativity, a great arc, and some grandiosity, it can go somewhere.

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    11. Profile photo of RainbowHorror1234
      August 20, 2015, 8:51 pm
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      Its very cute! But reminds me of many different animated movies and shorts. But i do think this could really go somewhere with a few creative unique ideas :)

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    12. Profile photo of MarsAlien
      MarsAlien says
      August 13, 2015, 5:52 am
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      It’s cute, but unfortunately nothing that smashes down the doors. Nothing new. I like that it’s basic and simple, but you gotta bring something more fresh to the animation table. The references you brought are TOO close to yours.

      Also, I would like to know more about the protagonist. Is he naive?Hated? Lost in the world (on the spiritual level)? Afraid of his/her own shadow? Ugly duckling? What’s his deal?

      Also, why did the family leave a member behind? What’s the start of this journey? What’s the catalyst? How come this barn Swallow is forced to take this journey at all?

      The logline is… well, not terrible. But it still doesn’t quite cut it. The structure is just a tad off. Luckily, you’ve got most of it right.

      But please please fix those typos/grammar errors.

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    13. Profile photo of marrow
      marrow says
      August 11, 2015, 11:03 am
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      Strong potential

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    14. RikerBear says
      July 26, 2015, 6:43 pm
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      Interesting idea using the owl as your migratory bird – not the most common choice which is a good thing.
      Be careful not to fall in to the same ole same ole story about migrating birds
      Best of luck with your project

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    15. Profile photo of Pasquali
      Pasquali says
      July 15, 2015, 5:15 pm
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      Well done. It’s simple yet conveys the conflict and goal. A nice idea for an animated film (or even a children’s picture book the could be adapted into one).

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    16. Profile photo of Donn
      Donn says
      July 2, 2015, 3:50 pm
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      Like it! Very simple and yet, plenty of room for emotional drama as it concerns the concept of family, which will pull at people’s heart strings.

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    17. June 29, 2015, 4:19 pm
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      Love, love and love the idea!

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    18. Profile photo of SusieK
      SusieK says
      June 27, 2015, 4:22 am

      Perfect hook.I just hooked and it must be great story.

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    19. Profile photo of SusieK
      SusieK says
      June 27, 2015, 4:16 am
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      Awesome!!Production company,open your eyes…It’s can hit the cinema.!!

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      • Profile photo of raydavenport
        June 27, 2015, 8:05 am

        Thanks SusieK, it’s a learning process for me to write the perfect logline.

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    20. bajasarah says
      June 6, 2015, 4:22 pm
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      Love this. Great logline

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    21. Profile photo of geds625
      geds625 says
      June 5, 2015, 10:56 am
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      love the premise!

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    22. Profile photo of WilderCarnes
      May 28, 2015, 1:00 am
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      I like the idea, curious what you would make of it.

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    23. Anni_Pea says
      May 25, 2015, 6:42 am
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      Really interesting idea, left me wanting for more

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    24. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
      May 14, 2015, 2:17 pm
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      OK, good logline but I don’t see a clear antagonist here. Normally that’s a big problem in a /loglinestory but I’m not quite sure it’s a problem now. What’s not in the logline probably ‘will’ be in the story. But I’m judging the logline and not the story so…

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      • Profile photo of raydavenport
        May 14, 2015, 8:40 pm

        I guess the real antagonist here is “the fear of heights” and some of the other characters in the story, but thanks anyway Rutger.

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    25. Profile photo of SeanKeyter
      SeanKeyter says
      May 12, 2015, 6:45 am
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      Great Family Movie

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    26. roknsrf says
      May 12, 2015, 2:52 am
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      Ray, you know that’s not a barn swallow, right? But, your premise is excellent and the hook perfect. Nice job.

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      • Profile photo of raydavenport
        May 12, 2015, 7:42 am

        thanks roknsrk, but what kind of bird is it? I got that picture from Wikipedia, that must be some other type of Swallow.

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        • roknsrf says
          May 13, 2015, 11:47 pm

          Your photo is of a young Sand Martin, which is a member of the Swallow family, but a Barn Swallow has blue coloring on the top of it’s head, back, and wings

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          • Profile photo of raydavenport
            May 14, 2015, 7:58 am

            okay you’re right! So we have a Sand Martin Swallow with a country barn yard accent learning how to fly in New York City, what you think!

            I’m not sure on which way I should go with this story.

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          • Profile photo of raydavenport
            May 14, 2015, 8:41 pm

            If I knew that was a Sand Martin, I would’ve named him MARTIN instead of OSCAR!

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    27. Profile photo of MattEpstein
      May 7, 2015, 1:28 am
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      I could see an animated movie

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    28. Profile photo of RonFord
      RonFord says
      May 6, 2015, 9:27 pm

      Ok gotcha. Well just off the strength of having an owl that’s afraid of heights has comedy and conflict written all over it. Other owls may look at him like he’s retarded. Others may take advantage of him in humorious ways which will only further motivate him to change that fear. He may pretend to others that he’s not afraid of heights, which some may call his bluff. This will only lead to him embarrasing himself in possibly a funny matter. You have a lot to play with just with that concept alone. Good luck!

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    29. Profile photo of RonFord
      RonFord says
      May 6, 2015, 3:39 pm
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      Short, sweet, to the point and ironic twist. I’d like to read it!

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      • Profile photo of raydavenport
        May 6, 2015, 8:51 pm

        I would love for you to read it but here is the problem, I’m not good at children’s stories, I’m not sure what they find funny or heart breaking or dramatic.

        I have seen the movies Chicken Run and Madagascar, I have yet to see RIO, I found none of it moving, some of it was funny but then again, I’m not a comedian, I’m not good at comedy when it comes to kids.

        So writing the script will be challenging! But I like that!

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