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Honeymoon is in the wrong place, make it honeymoon couples. There should be a hint to the outcome. There is a lot a stake , that is good.
I like this one a lot. Good job!
I like the idea but logline could use some rewording. Why do they have to fight for their lives after learning it was a gov’t cover up. Wouldn’t their lives be in danger regardless of what they learned?
Sounds good and I would be willing to purchase a ticket to seeing it on the silver. The concept is stong and I think it has a potential to be a hit. Well done Josh.
It sounds like Richard Nixon’s dark conspiracy era and the “Palax view” movie. I like it.
But I don’t know where the murder took place on their hooneymoon. On a country side or in a city street.
Go for it. Sounds like a nice premise. Maybe a bit wordy but sounds like something watchable
I think I’m getting lost in the logline. Does the conspiracy have something to do with both couples? Why two couples? Why not one? From a dramatic standpoint one couple bearing witness and the subsequent pay-off would keep the narrative driving forward surely? Two couple feels like you’re heading towards a structural cliff-edge
Two honeymooning couples accidentally videotape a murder and must flee once they learn it was part of a conspiracy cover-up by a high government official.
I tried to streamline it a bit. Good job and good luck.
Yeah, I would just use “videotape.” Is the Government official “high,” or “important?” Perhaps “high-ranking” would be better. Also, “conspiracy cover-up” is a little too much. You could go with one or the other and not lose anything. Otherwise, pretty solid. Is there anything about the couples that is interesting? Or, should I say, that adds conflict to the story?
Strong premise here. Would love to see this film. Would echo the first comment though – use either videotape or witness. Personally i would use videotape.
Use witness or videotape , not both or you need to define which couple saw what. The Logline explains the Genre, not important how you list it here, it speaks for itself.
Very good. I would Redbox it : )
Strong logline. Sounds like your genres are all over the place and comparing it to ENEMY OF THE STATE indicates you may be hi-tech focused? Logline itself is good and I’d be curious about this script.
well done, sounds like a very interesting story…
Love it and want to see it with A-listers