Login Register
 
Email RSS Feed Twitter Facebook
On The Edge
User Rating:
VN:RO [1.9.17_1161]
Overall
Story Potential
Hook
Rating: 3.5/5 (16 votes cast)

On The Edge

After two couples accidentally witness and videotape a murder on their honeymoons, they must fight for their lives once they learn the murder was part of a conspiracy cover-up by a high government official.

15 Comments

Leave A Reply
  1. wmemoli says
    February 12, 2013, 11:32 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Honeymoon is in the wrong place, make it honeymoon couples. There should be a hint to the outcome. There is a lot a stake , that is good.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  2. Avatar of normanwilliam
    October 26, 2012, 4:02 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I like this one a lot. Good job!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  3. Brian@TE says
    September 5, 2012, 8:31 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I like the idea but logline could use some rewording. Why do they have to fight for their lives after learning it was a gov’t cover up. Wouldn’t their lives be in danger regardless of what they learned?

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  4. rickemg says
    September 1, 2012, 10:04 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Sounds good and I would be willing to purchase a ticket to seeing it on the silver. The concept is stong and I think it has a potential to be a hit. Well done Josh.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  5. dimitrios says
    August 28, 2012, 7:01 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    It sounds like Richard Nixon’s dark conspiracy era and the “Palax view” movie. I like it.
    But I don’t know where the murder took place on their hooneymoon. On a country side or in a city street.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  6. says
    August 2, 2012, 1:01 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Go for it. Sounds like a nice premise. Maybe a bit wordy but sounds like something watchable

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  7. Avatar of melroggins
    melroggins says
    July 28, 2012, 1:23 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    I think I’m getting lost in the logline. Does the conspiracy have something to do with both couples? Why two couples? Why not one? From a dramatic standpoint one couple bearing witness and the subsequent pay-off would keep the narrative driving forward surely? Two couple feels like you’re heading towards a structural cliff-edge

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  8. says
    July 26, 2012, 8:45 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Two honeymooning couples accidentally videotape a murder and must flee once they learn it was part of a conspiracy cover-up by a high government official.

    I tried to streamline it a bit. Good job and good luck.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  9. Avatar of mistererock
    July 9, 2012, 1:30 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Yeah, I would just use “videotape.” Is the Government official “high,” or “important?” Perhaps “high-ranking” would be better. Also, “conspiracy cover-up” is a little too much. You could go with one or the other and not lose anything. Otherwise, pretty solid. Is there anything about the couples that is interesting? Or, should I say, that adds conflict to the story?

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  10. darney says
    June 27, 2012, 11:46 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Strong premise here. Would love to see this film. Would echo the first comment though – use either videotape or witness. Personally i would use videotape.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  11. sparky178 says
    June 22, 2012, 10:22 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Use witness or videotape , not both or you need to define which couple saw what. The Logline explains the Genre, not important how you list it here, it speaks for itself.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  12. joyhorror says
    June 21, 2012, 5:20 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Very good. I would Redbox it : )

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  13. Avatar of tserlin
    tserlin says
    June 21, 2012, 3:59 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Strong logline. Sounds like your genres are all over the place and comparing it to ENEMY OF THE STATE indicates you may be hi-tech focused? Logline itself is good and I’d be curious about this script.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  14. says
    June 16, 2012, 8:59 am
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    well done, sounds like a very interesting story…

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  15. catmorris says
    June 15, 2012, 9:38 pm
    Overall
    Story Potential
    Hook

    Love it and want to see it with A-listers

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.