Oh, for the Love of Mike
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Rating: 3.9/5 (11 votes cast)

Oh, for the Love of Mike

A rudderless Gulf War veteran gets a bump when he befriends a youth in need of a mentor, but in order to make good on his new commitments he must shed his old skin and become the man he needs to be.

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    1. Profile photo of ramyasri
      ramyasri says
      August 9, 2016, 6:10 am
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      Good interesting

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    2. Profile photo of nezrik
      nezrik says
      January 23, 2016, 10:17 am
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      Seems well-conceived. Just not my cup of flour.

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    3. Profile photo of Pasquali
      Pasquali says
      July 24, 2015, 1:48 pm
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      Not bad, but it will be a lot stronger if you are more specific on what kind of man he needs to be. I do like the vet becoming a mentor to a kid. Lots of potential there.

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    4. June 5, 2015, 6:28 pm
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      Psychological, interesting. How is it written? It sound well.

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    5. Profile photo of MattEpstein
      May 7, 2015, 1:34 am
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      Still a bit vague.

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    6. roknsrf says
      May 7, 2015, 12:12 am

      Okay you heckling vultures, this is as short as I can possible make it and still have it actually do what a logline is suppose to accomplish. Tell me it’s too long and I’m poppin up like burnt toast at your bar mitzvah

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    7. Profile photo of RonFord
      RonFord says
      May 6, 2015, 3:50 pm
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      It reads more like a plot summary consisting of run on sentences. However i do like the concept. It shows some good potential.

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    8. roknsrf says
      May 2, 2015, 8:33 pm

      Okay thanks to Rutger, I have the new and improved logline up.

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    9. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
      May 1, 2015, 5:38 am

      When he befriends an adolescent boy in need of mentoring, a Gulf war veteran who sufferers from PTSD must overcome his destructive behavior in order to build a healthy relationship with his protege and his single mother.

      Problem here is the double “his”

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    10. mikeyz says
      April 30, 2015, 4:10 pm

      Oh, for the love of James … this is a wonderfully revised log line! You’ve managed to keep all that bit of important detail in one sentence and that is pretty amazing. Flows really nicely too.
      I like it a lot and I look forward to reading your script!

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      • roknsrf says
        April 30, 2015, 8:45 pm

        Thanks MikeyZ, nice encouragement. I appreciate it.

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    11. mikeyz says
      April 30, 2015, 10:28 am
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      James, this is a really long log line … but its so well-written with a most compelling premise.
      Let me know when your screenplay is finished … would love to read this!

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      • roknsrf says
        April 30, 2015, 3:20 pm

        I’ve come up with a new shorter one sentence logline. I think it works.

        Rudderless since returning from the Gulf, a sardonic veteran’s hapless life gets a bump when he befriends a youth in need of a mentor, but in order to save his budding relationship with his young protege’s mom he must shed his old skin and become the man everyone, including himself, needs him to be.

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    12. Profile photo of damiz78
      damiz78 says
      April 29, 2015, 12:55 am
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      This is a good synopsis. Not a logline. Flip over a DVD case, that description is a synopsis. A log-“line” should be just that. A line, maybe two.

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    13. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
      April 24, 2015, 4:27 am
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      The logline is a bit long so I can’t give you full point, but hey almost!!

      At first glance this lets me think about a Drama, so my curiosity is triggered!!

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    14. ltherapy says
      April 24, 2015, 1:18 am
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      A little wordy, yes. Try changing, “…when he is befriended by a youth in need of mentoring….” to, “….when he befriends a youth in need of mentoring…” And editing further, try cutting out the word “However” and clean the line up with, “In order to seize his chance to turn over a new leaf and save his new found relationship with his young protege’s mother, Mike will have to overcome lingering destructive behaviors to prove he is the stand up guy everyone, including himself, needs him to be.”

      Hope this helps. Otherwise I would have given you 5 stars Overall.

      I look forward to reading this screenplay. It seems like a refreshing change from the overwhelmingly number of dramatic screenplays out there about veterans returning home.

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    15. roknsrf says
      April 24, 2015, 12:38 am
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      What can I say, I like my own shit, even if it is a little wordy. The feature screenplay will be in the next online contest. I thinks it’s a very funny and a great departure from the tragedy of “Whigger.”

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