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Rating: 3.9/5 (3 votes cast)

Notes from Hell’s Kitchen

A Faustian tale, set in Boston’s high tech world and New York’s Hell’s Kitchen, in which a frustrated publishing executive gets it all, loses it, and wins it back by falling in love with the man she discovered she loved all along.

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  1. roknsrf says
    February 15, 2015, 11:14 pm
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    I enjoyed this story for the most part, especially taking this journey with the worthy protagonist Johanna. I felt she was one of the most fully developed characters I have encountered in this contest. I thought the structure was sound and the dialogue solid. The polish of the script made me suspect that this is not the writer’s first go round. Also, in comparison to most of the other screenplays in this contest it was much cleaner, and I can’t tell you how thankful I was to not be bombarded with unnecessary and ill used montages and flashbacks Bravo!
    On the downside, after page 65 or so, proof reading errors started showing up and were frequent for about 20 pages or so before cleaning up again toward the end. I would have liked to laugh more if in fact this is to be a memorable romantic comedy. In addition, toward the end of the second act, scenes seem to go nowhere, i.e. what happens when Johanna and her friend abruptly turn around and start driving to Barney’s? Who broke out her window? etc. But more importantly, 2 things: 1. I don’t think there is enough introduction to the concept of Johanna making a deal with the devil. I feel more set up needs to take place than just Wagner handing her a number. Maybe a scene that shows Wagner benefiting from a relationship with M. Devil that leads to him gaining his new found notoriety as a band frontman, or something that helps us accept the plot twist. 2. Although there are a couple of scenes to the effect, and more scenes at the end to corroborate Johanna’s belief that Thrill TV is somehow an evil that is ruining society, there just isn’t enough set-up in the beginning of her shift in position on the whole thing nor scenes that help us buy into why the others would be motivated to ally with her to bring Thrill TV down. Her family switching up Thanksgiving seemed more like a good thing and a fun party than a bad thing which made her reaction (vomiting etc.) seem overdone. If more could be done before her epiphany to make the reader believe that a true evil was being spread through Thrill TV and not just the inevitable result of more of this digital age, maybe we could be sold on Johanna’s change of heart and help us root more for her as she overcomes her obstacles in order to complete her triumphant comeback. Nevertheless, this script is far better than most in this contest, and I wish you all the best with it, and I don’t just mean that the way Nigel would. lol. Good luck.

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    cowsonice says
    January 19, 2015, 6:54 pm
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    Loved all the Devil details!

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    says
    January 8, 2015, 4:46 pm
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    I really enjoyed the character of Johanna. With a talented cast this could be very funny.

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      JulieWood says
      February 16, 2015, 5:48 pm

      Hi there,
      Thank you so much for reading my screenplay, Notes from Hell’s Kitchen. I appreciate the fact that you “get” the main character, Johanna, and all your encouragement.

      All the best,
      Julie

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