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Dog stories always have potential. Log line needs re-doing…shorter, snappier, eliminate dark comedy…Good job.
sounds like the kind of cute kids movie I’d watch!
It would be interesting if this was actually told through the eyes of the dog (a la “Courage of Lassie”) without anthropomorphizing it with a voice actor, but it might be hard to truly express the conflict and potential consequences of the dog’s separation from its owner.
Wow. That’s actually a pretty solid concept told through the eyes of a dog???? I’m all over this!
congratulations! You have severely depressed me. You NEED TO REWRITE this logline. maybe throw in a comic element in it. otherwise…yeah…you’re just gonna leave a lot of sadness.
The logline describes this comedic story to be ruthlessly sad. I understand that you have claimed it be a DARK comedy, but that isn’t conveyed in your logline.
Why are they separated? Why will they die? Loneliness and heartbreak cannot be a realistic reason for both a dog and human to simultaneously die after an undecided period of time of being apart… In short, I don’t get it.
Not feeling the comedy here – b/c it seems utterly sad. But you convey the premise nicely. I would agree with some of the comments above — add something to set the “Dark comedic” tone. I don;t have a problem with you stating dark comedy – but the last few words make it feel too tragically inclined. Good start!
The logline does not grab me. What caused them to be separated? Are they heartbroken and lonley because they are separated? What about the owner’s family or friends? Surely, if he is blind, there will be someone looking after him? The only explanation would be in why they were separated. I don’t see the humour in dying from heartbreak or loneliness, so the elements does not add up.
I like the concept and can see potential for a good story. It’s missing something though. How about a verb or two mentioning the struggle in finding each other. Maybe, “a small dog who’s seen his years pass wanders helplessly to unite with his blind owner ……” Just an idea.
I’d pay for a ticket. The logline is intriguing.
This is sad. Why is it a comedy my question?
I don’t think it’s necessary to state that this is a dark comedy. Marketing will get that point across in a variety of ways. Also, I suggest using a synonym for elderly. In something this short, you don’t want to repeat a word. Something like long-in-the-tooth or over-the-hill would work better, but there are many more synonyms to choose from. Also, make mention of the conflict. Why will they each die? What stands in the way of them reuniting? You have room to throw us just enough more to make it really compelling.
Cool. Thanks for your ideas!