Michaela
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Rating: 2.1/5 (2 votes cast)

Michaela

Michaela is a survivor from the drug trade of the Rio de Janeiro favela’s, being raised as an errand girl for the local drug lord. When she finally has a chance to escape this life by coming to the USA, she soon finds herself in the one business she was trying to escape: the drug trade.

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  1. Profile photo of leeoconnor
    leeoconnor says
    September 6, 2014, 6:00 pm

    I haven’t read the script yet but the logline is in definite need of work. Simplify it. You say she is a survivor of the drug trade, this implies it no longer exists.

    “When she finally has a chance to escape this life by coming to the USA, she soon finds herself in the one business she was trying to escape: the drug trade.”

    There’s no need for the drug trade, we get the gist.

    This could be simplified, perhaps: “When she finally has the chance to escape to the USA, she soon finds herself in the same business”

    Hope this helps

    Lee

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  2. June 20, 2013, 2:12 am
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    MICHAELA takes us in a dangerous and real world we can’t and don’t have to ignore: drugs. Also revealing the dark sides of human being. The intention is good but this theme has been explored and explored, that’s why you have to be careful with the “cliches”.
    I agree, this script needs more action instead of using dialogue to explain what happened or will happen. Even though Michaela’s life is not easy, we are not surprised by her story that seems a little bit superficial or already seen. Need to work on the characters by center on the very good ones that the story needs and think about Michaela’s goal that would allow the audience to follow her.

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  3. ssabatino says
    June 4, 2013, 8:59 pm
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    I made it to page 40 and decided I was able to adequately rate your script. I was disappointed your script did not deliver the promised hook in your synopsis. (It’s almost false advertising.) There are two things not credible about your story: the setting and your main character. You haven’t done your homework. You elect to tackle the seedy, dangerous world of drug trafficking, but you present it in a benign manner. Even the bad guys seem harmless. Your version of NYC is lackluster. NY is probably one of the top 2 cities in the world where every language is spoken, especially the major ones. You make too much of the language barrier, which is annoying in the script. Your main character, Michaela, speaks Portuguese. She would have very little trouble navigating the city through that community. As for Michaela, she is completely unbelievable. When you take stock of her by page 35, what you have is an apparently exotic Latin beauty, now age 18, who has been muling drugs since she was 8 years old – yet, she’s never been sexually abused. She arrives in NYC and can’t find a job? She’s a knock-out “looker.” Men would be tripping over themselves – and firing half their work force – to give her a job. You portray her as the deer in the headlights, but she has managed to squirrel away money, steal, and kick men in the balls. You need to lock-down her characterization. Michaela can’t be a cross between Alice in Wonderland and Iris “Easy.” You have to choose. If you want her to be the damsel in distress, then you’ll have to change her back story. The one she has puts her in the running for a street-smart survivor. I would cut pages 1 – 8 and start the story on page 9. Forget the filler; it weighs down the plot. You don’t have to walk the audience through every step of her journey. We’re smart enough to follow. Take some leaps. Write some action. You don’t have any. You’ll never get anyone to read this all the way through “as is.” (Also, you have formatting issues. Rewrites will help you there.)

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