Metacomet a.k.a King Philip More Images
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Metacomet a.k.a King Philip

An Epic true story of the First Native American Brave Heart. He fought for his Rhode Island Tribes Two Hundred Years before the Plains Indians ever went to war. U[on his death King Philip was the last King in America. There is love of family, camaraderie, intrigue, double crosses, even a love triangle for the benefit of the Tribe.

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  1. Profile photo of perloff
    perloff says
    June 26, 2012, 4:46 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    My advice is to simplify everything. This script is way over written. There are too many characters. In my experience, I’ve found that readers cannot handle more than 7 major characters. After 7, they start to get confused. Keep in mind, that it’s much easier to keep track of everything on screen but if you want to get this script into the hands of people that can get it made you have to find a way to simplify it.

    A friend of mine told me that his agent reads scripts from unsolicited writers while he is on the phone. Think about that for a minute. You need to bend over backwards to make sure the reader understands everything. Make it easier on them. Find ways to convey more with less. Use subtext, imagery, symbolism and get rid of anything that cannot be expressed visually on screen.

    In general, I couldn’t get into this because there was just too much going on and I felt like I didn’t understand everything… Maybe that’s a reflection of me more than you but my feeling is you might end up hearing this a lot from people who reader this script.

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