Make Any Vows
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Make Any Vows

Kate, the bisexual singer/guitarist of the duo Irony In Play, is on the outs with her boyfriend/Ironys drummer Blake. Then Kate meets Terry, a reporter for the rock magazine Critical Mass, falls for her, and both womens’ lives are upended.

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  1. mikeyz says
    December 19, 2013, 2:47 pm

    My pleasure Andrea. Good luck to you!

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  2. mikeyz says
    December 19, 2013, 10:23 am
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    A nice read Andrea with a great concept as well!
    It’s too bad that the assigned people who were supposed to read this did not do so.
    In any event, I liked the way you worked in all the relationships here — Kate and Terry, Blake and Polly and how jealousies and spite amongst the ex-s ultimately helped cause the friction between the two bands.
    Grammar and formatting seemed to be on the money although I did a pick up a few small typos. Nothing major though.
    One thing I do wish to point out however is that there were some scenes in which all the characters (band-mates, reporters) were all engaged in some conversation and I found it a bit difficult to keep track of who was speaking to whom. I could follow it but I had to read carefully to follow the interactions.
    You may wish to use some parentheticals for directional purposes (i.e., who exactly is speaking to whom) just so we don’t lose track of the dialogue flow. Just a thought!
    Otherwise, well done Andrea!

    Best,

    Mike.

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    • aweiss says
      December 19, 2013, 12:31 pm

      Thanks so much! Your comments mean a lot.

      Yours,
      Andrea

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