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Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)

LIMBO

Limbo is the desolate world between Life and Death. Saviors, a secret group of people, have the ability to willingly fall into Limbo and rescue targets and bring them back to Life. Enter James Moore, son of a prestigious Savior, who wants little to do with the chaotic job he is about to inherit. He must find his target and escape before becoming tapped by the locals or taken to his grave by the mysterious Reapers.

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  1. September 21, 2017, 1:35 pm
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    This is genius. I honestly don’t understand why anybody would give this 5/5

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    jeleigh16 says
    October 8, 2014, 3:40 pm
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    I would have given the script a higher concept score, except that I felt the concept was better represented in the description of the script than in the script itself.

    I know this is a pilot, but the script left me feeling a bit lost. I was not sure about the world of the characters and even the characters themselves. Are they all bad-ass military types? If yes, then I get that, but you may want to explore some variety in that model.

    I think that the prose got out of hand, at times, as well. The descriptions don’t need to be quite so specific and camera movements should be avoided in general.

    There’s a weird sort of dynamic going on here as I think there needs to be both more and less exposition. The exposition we get is roughly places and not necessarily the best method of giving us information. The script would be much better suited to an approach where a character (James, for example) is unfamiliar with something and someone has to explain it to him. You actually do a little bit of this towards the end of the script and it works well. We only need exposition to a certain extent, of course, we don’t need to know everything yet and there doesn’t need to be lengthy monologues either, but I am left feeling a little lost so some explanation needs to occur.

    I think this script has a lot of potential and once the character development and dialogue are ironed out, it could be greatly improved and perhaps even make for a good series.

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    says
    September 9, 2014, 7:11 pm
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    I really do think the world of your series has a whole lot of potential. It’s an interesting concept. However, I do wish there was a little bit more character development. For a protagonist, James is reading just a little bit flat, even given his role as a Savior. Just changing his manner of speech can even help add to that.

    I think something to think about moving forward is trying to loosen up your stage directions and take a bit of the prose out. Dense stage directions make it really hard to follow the action and visuals in a cinematic manner, and this script is very action-driven.

    I understand that this is the pilot, but I do hope you’ll consider given a little bit more background to the world and the characters– not to the point of exposition flags waving everywhere, but just so that the viewer/reader feels a little better oriented.

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