Lex Street
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Rating: 4.1/5 (16 votes cast)

Lex Street

The true story of the worst mass murder in Philadelphia History. (As told by an original defendant, later found innocent of the crime.)

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  1. Profile photo of confirmtruth
    November 19, 2015, 8:16 pm

    Marv Reid is a Fraud My name is Mee Lin Youk and My nephew was wrongly accused of the Lex street Massacre ..Any one who knows me will Tell you that I am nothing like the character he is trying to slander . I am a artist and I am well Know many things were written about the incident Much of it copied from court transcript ….If I find out that there is a film made with my likeness . you will see me in court > I am not a foul Mouth 50 cent speaking thug .. I have a respectful reputation in many artistic communities…. .

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  2. roknsrf says
    March 16, 2015, 8:46 pm
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    What can I say about this script? Any writer can do research on a true story and write a script, but can they make it compelling? Can they bring the characters to life with dynamic dialogue and awe inspiring action sequences? Look at “American Sniper”. Unfortunately, after reading this script it is clearly no American Sniper. Objectively speaking, this writer has failed to bring anything of film worthiness to this tragic tale in my opinion. The characters are stale, overdone, and unappealing, leaving the reader no one to root for. In addition, the otherwise fairly sharp dialogue falters when the character Mee Lin Youk, a 40 something oriental woman, talks like she’s 50 cent. Now, there is a well known half black female writer in philly named Mee Lin Youk, but I have never known her to talk so ghetto. The storyline tanks right from the gate with unsupportable supernatural occurrences, and gets worse when it shows veteran cops vomiting all over the place. Of course, it’s easy to see why a production company scooped up this fugazi. They love that kind of BULLSHIT. I can tell you from many years of experience as a first responder in a number of fields, I have NEVER EVER seen a cop (or any other responder for that matter) vomit from seeing a dead body no matter how gruesome the scene. It is only the stench of a decaying body and the presence of fecal matter that creates this kind of visceral response because of the physiology of smell and taste associated with retching. Nonetheless, anyone who has seen a movie in the last 25 years knows how much Hollywood loves that BULLSHIT. So much for the writer’s theory that Hollywood is going for more “real” scripts these days, because this thing is far from “keeping it real.” Maybe I could forgive these Hollywood panderings if it weren’t for the glaring errors at the end of the script. On page 113 Shi Hean buys a car from Porter. Then, on the same page, an action line says Faraqui meets Porter at the Chinese store. Yet, in the following dialogue sequence, it’s Shi Hean speaking with Faraqui. Where the hell did Shi Hean come from, and why does he just show up talking to Faraqui? We can only assume that the writer made a mistake in the action sequence naming Porter as the character meeting Faraqui at the Chinese store when he should have wrote Shi Hean. Nonetheless, in the scene Shi Hean trades the car he got from Porter to Faraqui for a Glock. But then, on page 115, Faraqui confronts Porter and demands his “shit back” even though the writer never mentions any exchange of goods between them. So, why does Faraqui want something back from Porter? It makes no sense. He doesn’t have the Glock, Shi Hean does. In fact, earlier in the script we are led to believe that Shi Hean lost the Glock during his attempt to flee the cops. So, Shi Hean must have the Glock, and would have been carrying it during the murders. Wouldn’t Faraqui have known that, since Shi Hean was standing right next to him in the alley on the night of the murders? Bottomline, the story does not ring true in the end, and that’s a big F up on the writer’s part because HEY it’s a true story! The least the writer could do is get the facts straight. Which also begs the question, did the production company that bought this mess actually read it? Of course not, those jagoffs don’t have the attention span to get through the first five pages. They probably gave it to some intern to read, and like the character Jemel in this script, the intern was intimidated into saying it’s good to go to production when it clearly is not. But then again, that’s why there are so many crappy films coming out of Hollywood. As for me, I’ll wait for the DVD and download it off the web just to see how it turned out, you know, cause I read it here first. Hopefully by then, the shooting script will have ironed out not only these missteps, but also the rest of the pile of things that are wrong with this spec.

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    • Profile photo of raydavenport
      March 16, 2015, 10:25 pm

      Hey roknsrf, did you use to be a producer or and agent or something? because your reviews are on point…

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      • roknsrf says
        March 17, 2015, 1:29 am

        No, in fact I hadn’t reviewed any scripts except my own until I entered my script in this contest. I’m trying to really understand my craft, and I’ve come to realize (no matter how much I hated it at first) that giving a heartfelt honest critique really helps me see how to improve my own work, i. e. if I don’t care for it in someone else’s script, why is it in my script. However, I am really trying to see what others are doing right, like in the script Grimwood, Babies with Rabies, or a number of the other top 10 or so scripts. My plan is to read every script here until I’m as good at seeing what’s good and bad with any script as the judges, or production company reviewers I am trying to sell my scripts to. Maybe, just maybe I’ll get one past them. But as far as writing a good review, hell, I learned that in English Comp with Essay my freshman year in college. It’s just writing an essay man, and caring enough about people’s work to really give them a critique they can use. Besides, I also learned from the critiques of my script, and I’ve already fined tuned it to the point that I finally have a finished work worthy of appearing before a contest judge after 5 Fing years of editing. No Bullshit.

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        • Profile photo of raydavenport
          March 17, 2015, 9:17 pm

          oh yeah, how many scripts you have editing for five years? if you don’t mind me asking,
          plus I am in the same situation, reviewing others scripts to see what’s wrong with minds. For five years I have been trying to pitch and get my name out there and nothing!

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          • roknsrf says
            March 18, 2015, 10:30 pm

            Just the one, my other two scripts are still not ready for primetime, but they aren’t yet a year old. I’ve also wrote two novels this last year. So, I’ve kept busy. It’s just a fact of this industry that not everyone is going to be interested in our stories. The trick is finding who is. There’s one script here titled “Night Witches” which boasts of 11 contest wins. Others here have already been optioned or are in production, so you never know. The most important thing you can do is have 3 scripts tuned to perfection, and be ready when your time comes. I recommend taking your work to Screenwriter’s workshops or seminars etc. You can research who will be the industry guests, and go to the ones that will be attended by someone from a production company known for producing your genre of work. It’s very important to have 3 ready scripts when you arrive because if you get to present your work (and if you are determined enough, you will), then you must be prepared for the question they will always ask you next… And that is, “what else you got?” On top of that, remember to never suggest things like who you see in what role, or who you would like to direct it, etc. etc. They all hate that with a capital H. Let your work do the talking, and do your best to have your scripts free of anything normally left up to the director’s script. They want spec scripts only. Lastly, it’s important to always keep writing. Don’t get so caught up trying to sell your last one that you stop writing the next one. After all, just because nobody’s biting on this one doesn’t mean they won’t eat up the next one. Good luck on your mission.

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        • Profile photo of raydavenport
          March 19, 2015, 9:02 am

          Okay thanks for the advice, I will keep that in mind. Try checking out the script titled: NIGHT AT THE BISCAYNE MOTEL and tell me what you think.

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          • roknsrf says
            March 19, 2015, 2:37 pm

            I will, and you should check out Horror Comic, in fact, everyone writing on the horror genre should. It’s a pro script, best one here by far.

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  3. Profile photo of UniverseEyes
    October 13, 2014, 7:55 am
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    Neutralizing fake profiles high scores: MoviemakerEli

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  4. October 12, 2014, 4:08 am
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    Hey you got a meeting. Somebody wants that script. That and your track record say it all.

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    TheBerg says
    October 11, 2014, 2:57 pm
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    This script is as comprehensive and production ready as any I have read in the past few years, particularly on such a difficult and personal story. It is my understanding that this film was written directly from a series of interviews with the subject; if my understanding is correct, I will respectfully disagree with the previous poster who suggests the “devil” visiting the inmate is something so far afield of the possible that it somehow diminishes the power of this film. It does not.

    Having produced several films and documentaries about prison, I can assure you the legal conversations are 100% on point and sound exactly the way they would in a true to life situation rather than some Hollywood-baked production. The industry (just to inform you) is constantly pushing the envelope to more real and true dialogue as compared to the canned banter you’ll hear on Grey’s or Scandal.

    TGVSpeed, I would like to offer you an opportunity to share this with our team as it is a script we believe not only has legs but the potential to do better than a Fruitvale Station. I will contact you privately. Finally, it is important to “receive” feedback, but consider such feedback from the source. I know there are other industry people who reviewed this based on the language in their posting. I would pay close attention to their words and focus less on those who believe it their “duty” to trash a brilliant piece of work. I will be in touch.

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  6. October 11, 2014, 2:00 pm
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    The Lex Street massacre is a sad story. And it’s hard to tell. The author did a very decent job here based on what seems to be a lot of research on characters and facts. Then, I’d like to congratulate the writer in finishing this script. Said that, let’s talk about what is not working in my humble opinion, beginning with the…begin..

    The opening scene shows us the Devil himself and makes the audience thinking in a supernatural approach to the story, which does not happen. The opening scene establishes to the audience the tone of the script, “tuning” them with what will happen. This one doesn’t make the job.

    The dialogues are well written but are too many and too long. Cinema is a visual media, then I believe is necessary to have more interesting things happening, not just nicely constructed talking.

    There are also a lot of characters making impossible to track them. Sacon seems to be the main characters and narrates partially the story, but this tragic story is not told through his eyes. If the author makes the choice of having Sacon as a indubitable main character, showing all the time his relationships, concerns and stakes the audience would be more related to him, would care about him and with a great centric character the story would be much more solid.

    Hope the author find something useful in my comments and he never forget that a screenwriter’s life is full of criticism and consequential rewrites. 😉

    Personal Message:

    My apologies for the low scores, but after so many friendly and enthusiastic high scores to your script, I felt free and in obligation to give you a very honest scoring based on everything I lived in this area so far. I’m very experienced in giving and receiving reviews and I’ve learned to score a 3 (or higher) only when I believe the evaluated item is ready to be considered in a contest or by a pro-reader. Then please don’t be offended or upset with that, but try to see if my personal vision can make any sense to you and be somehow a tool you can use to improve your script and overall screenwriting skills. And don’t forget to check the PDF conversion next time. The conversion issues give the reader a very bad initial impression.

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    • TGVSpeed says
      October 11, 2014, 11:05 pm

      Hey Leonardo and thanks for your feedback. This film was difficult to write for a number of reasons and the version you read is the one that was optioned and will be in pre-production in early 2015, so I should take it out of the competition, but I guess it can stay for now until the ink is dry on the contract. I have found this contest interesting but weird due to the wide variation of opinions and I thank you for your honest and straightforward comments. I’ve been fortunate to have 3 films optioned this year and one sale, so I have a pretty good handle on it. This film was written using many of the actual words of the individuals profiled in it as I interviewed a number of them; much of the other dialogue was taken from court transcripts. One thing I can assure you of is it was a VERY disturbing series of conversations. A tragedy beyond comprehension compounded by a blatant cover-up and frame job on four innocent men.

      Thanks again.

      Marv

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    DeeDee says
    October 4, 2014, 9:00 am
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    Unlike Fruitvale Station, this story is one that tugs at the heart-strings and reminds us of the tenet in law that we are truly INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY! Kudos to the writer for his fantastic telling of this story in film form and how raw it is while maintaining marketability. I can see this on the big screen but it would probably play very well as a one season HBO or Showtime series. Congratulations on a job well done.

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  8. RicoJ27 says
    October 1, 2014, 5:11 am
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    Well written. Very intriguing. Minimal mistakes. Suspenseful. EXCELLENT dialogue. I can see this script adapt very seamlessly into a mystery drama film. The start was very mysterious and I loved it. I felt the pace slowed down in the middle but slowly built back up. Overall, great job.
    By the way, spelling error on page 108. Quiante’s dialogue.

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    • TGVSpeed says
      October 1, 2014, 9:29 pm

      Rico, thanks for your kind comments, feedback and votes. It was a chilling set of interviews.

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    Glencoe64 says
    September 13, 2014, 8:30 pm
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    My answer is yes. In spite of the formatting issues, this is an excellent script about a horrific situation. Kudos on a job well done by the writer. Wow.

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  10. TGVSpeed says
    September 9, 2014, 6:39 pm
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    OK, so I did decide to rate my own script, mainly because I am quite pleased with it and excited it will be produced. While I understand the different beliefs and standards of screenwriting, I wrote it under the direction of a multi-produced screenwriter who has 13 films under his belt, so I stand by the quality of the work. This business we’re in can be fickle and rules changes quickly as the wind direction changes, so whatever will be, will be.

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  11. Profile photo of EaglesWings
    September 9, 2014, 6:03 pm
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    Thrilling, suspense. Great story line filled with drama and grabbing conflict.

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    GBland77 says
    September 8, 2014, 10:24 pm
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    Formatting issues aside, which is clearly a software matter, this is an outstanding story and script. The murders of those innocents at the hands of thugs and the further indignity applied by the police and a host of others in the DA’s office is simply appalling. This writer did an outstanding job weaving together a story that would likely have had to be seen even to be believed. There has to be some weird variation in the way UK writer’s write and how writer’s in the USA write. Leeoconner’s comments about the obvious “show” not tell directives is proof we did not all learn this craft the same way and see thing quite differently. If he actually read the script and not just picked apart pieces, I believe his rating would likely have been considerably higher, unless he has some ax to grind. That said, kudos to the writer here and I wish you the very best of luck. If you’re seeking a home for this, feel free to email me and let’s talk.

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      leeoconnor says
      September 9, 2014, 4:19 am

      I’m not going to deny that his is not great tale. I can see this is a software matter which is completely different to format.
      English, american and or any other nation when it comes to writing a screenplay/script the formatting should be the same. It has nothing to do with how nations write differently.

      It is a big NO to write “we see” or anything similar in a script.
      Describe the scene don’t direct it. We are simply writers selling a story and it is not really are say when a producer takes it on how the script is filmed, that’s where their talent comes in. If you want an input on how the screenplay/script is filmed, then become a director and a producer and shoot the movie.

      I speak with many of professional American writers everyday who work with top production companies and they would say the same as me, to be honest they would literally pick this script apart.

      This is a cut throat industry, real criticism is a positive, take my advice and improve it. Simplify it is all. This has nothing against his writing capability. I have no doubt this will be a winner when polished.

      I’m not being bitter, it’s just friendly advice and I wish Marv the very best of luck with this.

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    leeoconnor says
    September 8, 2014, 1:51 pm
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    The concept is there but the formatting issues put me off. It’s the directions again, you need to lose the “we see” etc. It just needs re-writing.

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  14. TGVSpeed says
    August 18, 2014, 1:02 am

    I’m not rating my own script but I would like to thank those who overlooked the formatting issues due to software transfer/translation and READ the script. I would re-submit but I’m having the exact same transfer protocol and it’s a pain. But thank you all!

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    Filmstar22 says
    August 17, 2014, 1:56 pm
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    I’d like to see this done as a big budget film and I have to agree with Raffiki who reviewed this and discussed how the writer included the names (and faces via photo) of the real victims. A lot of times Hollywood just wants to tell a story to sell tickets and forgets about the people who were afffected and their families. Kudos to the writer for telling the story carefully and with dignity.

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    Raffiki says
    August 17, 2014, 12:56 am
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    I’m not sure about the budget for a film like this because even though it has a number of locations it could probably be shot for a low-mid budget, as in below $10 million. Depending on the actors. I didn’t like the story because of the subject matter but it’s not a feel good story; it’s a horrible thing that happened to those people and it doesn’t matter that they were in the house smoking crack and drinking, no one deserves to be cut down the way they were. The part that moved me was in the beginning when the writer mentioned each of the people killed and shot/hurt by name. It is a sad, but fitting tribute to them.

    Excellent work.

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  17. Profile photo of MovieBuffie
    August 16, 2014, 8:10 pm
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    What happened in Philadelphia in 2000 just after Christmas was a real tragedy on many levels. Marvin Reid lays out an interesting story told from the perspective of one of the men originally charged with that horrible crime. I am impressed with the clarity in which he tells the story that seems to be a bit convoluted. On the one hand you have the police who arrest a person, deny him his rights, food, medical attention and cause him to implicate 3 other men who were no where near the incident and hold them in jail for 18 months. Then you have the prosecutor who tries to fit a square peg into a round hole and in spite of the evidence to the contrary they continue to try and pin the murders on them claiming it was about drugs when it was about a car.

    This is one of the best scripts I have read here and it is my personal pick to win.

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    FilmBuffer says
    August 16, 2014, 7:34 pm

    This is an incredibly powerful film. The writer is to be commended for telling a very complicated story and basically making it simple. One of the reasons why films are successful is because they speak to the common man. From a simple standpoint, the murders of the people on Lex Street so many years ago was international news and it’s time the truth is brought forward about what really happened and why.

    Well done, Mr. Reid.

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  19. Profile photo of MoviemakerEli
    August 16, 2014, 7:10 pm
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    As a person who is originally from Philly, I remember this incident and I have read a number of accounts but this one is shockingly real. Of course I noticed it was done with one of the actual people which is a huge coup for the writer. He captures the emotions and feelings of police, prosecutors, judges, ordinary residents and media.

    I would like to have further access to this writer, he’s outstanding.

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    • Profile photo of confirmtruth
      November 19, 2015, 8:19 pm

      Marv Reid is a Fraud My name is Mee Lin Youk and My nephew was wrongly accused of the Lex street Massacre ..Any one who knows me will Tell you that I am nothing like the character he is trying to slander . I am a artist and I am well Know many things were written about the incident Much of it copied from court transcript ….If I find out that there is a film made with my likeness . you will see me in court > I am not a foul Mouth 50 cent speaking thug .. I have a respectful reputation in many artistic communities…. .

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