Kill The Kabuki
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Rating: 1.7/5 (2 votes cast)

Kill The Kabuki

A sociopathic samurai is reincarnated and unknowingly joins forces with his enemies to destroy a life form which consumes and reanimates the consumed inside its belly.

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    1. Profile photo of Halling86
      Halling86 says
      January 19, 2016, 3:13 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      A little too complicated. So he is sociopathic, and he has been dead and now reincarnated to unknowingly team up with his enemies. Maybe it should be knowingly? What are te stakes for him? Why destroy the life form? For all we know, the life form could be the good in the story. There is potential though, maybe change the life form to something simpler and more specific.

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    2. Brian says
      November 25, 2015, 7:05 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      This story seems far more complicated to splice into a single sentence. I give you much credit for your wild ambition. Your script seems to offer a unique and exciting sequence of actions and situations, but I would be afraid of it being unrealistic, not relatable and/or confusing to follow.

      When I read your logline I don’t get any sense of character, and for me, that’s a hugely important thing to relay in a concept. I need to be able to relate to a character or be interested in a character.

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