Just Aired
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Just Aired

Mia’s Dad is trying to track down criminals who have released an airborne virus in London and are getting ready to release it globally. But Mia doesn’t care. Her friend Ellie has just left her on her first day of secondary school. This is real life. This is war. #JustAired

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    1. October 16, 2017, 5:31 pm
      Overall
      Story Potential
      Hook

      The logline is confusing. I am not sure WHICH character we are anticipating that we are following. Are we following Mia who was dropped off at school… and she doesn’t care about what her dad is having to deal with? Or are we following her father as he tries to save the world from the terrorists while she is at school.

      If the logline is cleared up this would help as it seems like the father saving the world from an airborne threat has a high potential. Just help us understand why his daughter was mentioned in the logline and gets 50% of your coverage.

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        mrb1707 says
        October 20, 2017, 4:03 pm

        Thanks for the comments James. Mia’s story I saw as a sub plot. Would it have been better not to have included this sub plot in the log line ?

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