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Rating: 3.2/5 (11 votes cast)

JoanieJitters

Newly divorced and somewhat spastic forty-ish mother of twin teenage girls has trouble finding work, so she applies and gets the position “M80 fuse stuffer” in the local fireworks factory, where her explosive personal life ignites her work life every day.

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  1. Profile photo of DiversityU
    DiversityU says
    December 19, 2015, 3:33 pm
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    Logline should be shorter and more revealing.

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  2. Profile photo of
    says
    January 23, 2015, 9:22 am
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    Interesting idea. Many people without jobs can relate. Logline can use a bit of tweaking. Best of luck!

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  3. toojazzy says
    September 20, 2014, 10:53 am

    Cool concept! I can see this opening the week before the 4th of July. Julia Robers would be a good match (think Erin Brockovich) Sassy mouth, enduring wise azz men who try to hit on her or maybe a perv for a boss….she gets stopped by TSA at airport and has to endure a body search because explosive residue is detected on her body/clothes.

    Tighten up the log line….and maybe Julia will join your fun

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    • frankvespe says
      October 27, 2014, 12:34 pm

      Thanks for the nice words, although I see it as more I Love Lucy type…right?

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  4. August 18, 2014, 2:50 pm
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    Is there a love interest or it about the crazy, haphazard or funny things she does at work?

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    • frankvespe says
      October 27, 2014, 12:35 pm

      Thanks Fabian…I see it as I Love Lucy kinda story and character, right?

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  5. Profile photo of regello
    regello says
    August 18, 2014, 2:09 pm
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    Great movie title and premise (although it’s prettyvague). Not sure what the state of your script is, but the logline needs work. Maybe just keep it simple but edgy, like “Newly divorced mother gets a job in the local fireworks factory and…” You’ll have to complete the line based on whatever your plot is. As it stands, your logline only gets us through the first 10 minutes of the film.

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  6. hingylingy says
    December 28, 2013, 12:58 pm
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    This sounds like a cute story and I get the fuse parallel you draw here…however, we still need some ongoing conflict with possible resolution and we don’t have that in your log line.

    http://www.wikiscreenplay.ca/index.php?title=Loglines

    This is a pretty good link with known movie log lines and most of them have a conflict for the character to overcome, what conflict must the mother overcome, is her getting married the goal here? We need to know or it is just a cute little idea. Is there a romance that is about to be set off at the firework factory??

    Something more for her in the present will satisfy this demand.

    Good luck

    Jay

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  7. belw says
    November 13, 2013, 7:11 pm
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    I can so relate!

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  8. Profile photo of astern
    astern says
    October 10, 2013, 8:03 pm
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    Single parents of twins can appreciate this film. I can envision Joanie Jitters as a romantic comedy as well. Maybe the new boss has a son who is secretly dating one of her twins & she disapproves. Good luck with this!

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  9. Profile photo of vickyn
    vickyn says
    October 7, 2013, 11:21 pm
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    I forgot to rate.

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  10. Profile photo of vickyn
    vickyn says
    October 5, 2013, 11:11 pm

    A divorced mother’s explosive personal life ignites against her new career in a fireworks factory.

    Something shorter and to the point. Only tell the most important info we need to see the story. The story has potential. A lot of people loved Lucy, and I always enjoyed Laverne and Shirley as well.

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  11. aweiss says
    September 27, 2013, 2:08 am
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    I agree with these comments. Sounds good to me too.

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  12. Profile photo of BVG59
    BVG59 says
    September 20, 2013, 1:13 am
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    Sounds like a funny premise. You don’t want it to be one joke- a klutz in a fireworks factory. “40-ish” is too generic and not interesting.

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  13. stupage says
    August 17, 2013, 1:49 pm
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    is spastic used in the medical or derogetory form ?

    A newly divorced unemployed mothers life turns upside down as her personal life ignites after getting a job as a fuse stuffer in the local fireworks factory.

    How’s that ? shorter and to the point, but can be improved

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