Jacob’s Attic
User Rating:
VN:RO [1.9.17_1161]
Overall
Concept
Story Structure
Character
Dialogue
Grammar
Budget (1-Low / 5-High)
Rating: 4.5/5 (11 votes cast)

Jacob’s Attic

Shocked by the death of his drug-addicted brother, a young man grows increasingly suspicious and erratic as others die around him, until his story begins to weave with that of another boy trying to heal his own grief and guilt…

\”Mystic River\” meets \”The Sixth Sense\”

11 Comments

Leave A Reply
  1. February 20, 2017, 11:58 am
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    Great job on this script! It was a fun read. Some parts were a bit confusing, but a lot of criminal investigation screenplays have that problem and a little more polishing will see this story at its best. All in all, a screenplay with potential that I could definitely see on screen!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  2. Profile photo of SYoung1960
    SYoung1960 says
    February 5, 2017, 2:22 am
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    I have to pretty much mirror all of the comments already made. Nicely done.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  3. Profile photo of GretaL
    GretaL says
    December 23, 2016, 10:00 am
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    Good luck! actually really liked it !Great job!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  4. roknsrf says
    February 28, 2015, 3:05 am
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    I’m not sure I understand what is happening throughout this screenplay, but surprisingly I don’t carte because it was so well written. I would try and hash it all out here in order to get some feedback as to whether my conclusions are right or not but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who hasn’t had the opportunity to read it yet. One thing I can say is, I was riveted from beginning to end. What a scary, spooky, thrill ride. Thank you.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  5. belw says
    January 13, 2014, 8:46 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    I must say this is one beautifully written screenplay. I wish I wrote it. This writer seems to be a bit of a pro, like maybe his 80th script. I like it, I like the writer, he has style and a flow, God bless…. You certainly don’t need my useless opinion so have a great and fortunate life as a screenwriter. I’ve read some pretty bad scripts this year but this is not one of them. I’d give it 5 stars all the way down but i get nasty comments when i do that.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    Report user
  6. September 29, 2013, 8:32 am
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    I LOVED this! I followed it pretty closely up until about the end. I’m still not entirely sure what happened at the end (wich i like, btw), but i have a few ideas of what transpired. I thoroughly enjoyed this script — and your style of writing. Needs to be a movie.

    Vatican.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  7. Profile photo of nichie04
    nichie04 says
    September 9, 2013, 2:05 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    I liked the idea of the story but it was a little bit hard to follow. The story has a tone of potential, but i was a little confused with the ending. Im still not really sure what happened. I will probably re-read for clarification. I really liked the shadowy character, keeps you wondering all the way through. Love the twist.

    Good Luck.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  8. Profile photo of georgejrubino
    September 2, 2013, 1:49 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    With its multi-characters and many twists, the plot is complex but clever. Had to backtrack several times to keep up. The plot moves briskly, never lags and is very visual. The dialogue is sharp, the characters well drawn. Frankly I’m not sure what happens at the end.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    Report user
  9. Profile photo of jrb232
    jrb232 says
    August 14, 2013, 7:12 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    You layered the heck out of this. I swear I’ve gone back four times already to catch the different themes. they only added to the story so it’s not like someone missing them won’t understand!! I can tell you put a lot of thought into that, that’s incredible how complex you were able to make this :) LOVE what you did at the end, the twists were very fun and very creepy :) good luck!!!

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    Report user
  10. Profile photo of lordofthestings
    August 10, 2013, 2:11 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    Great concept, I love the idea of what our guilt does to us. The structure was a little hard to follow at times, but once I finished reading it made sense, so I give that a 4. Think it all ties together so looking back the structure was pretty solid. Love the character for Jacob!!! Very creepy, and his mom makes you hate and love her both. This would be a great thriller, good luck.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    Report user
  11. Profile photo of noiraddict
    noiraddict says
    July 29, 2013, 2:19 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    Nice job! A lot to keep track of, but it all comes together in the end. I especially like that we get to decide for ourselves what the haunting really is, like whether it’s in Jacob’s head or not. I was pretty sure I had the twist figured out but I still didn’t predict the ending. The grammar looks flawless and the dialogue is snappy and purposeful. Consider making the religious element a little more grounded, especially with scenes involving Johnny, perhaps at the part where Jacob sleepwalks? (at least I think that’s what he does…) The scene where Jacob distorts his memories reminds me of Inception, where they say the dream is collapsing, lol. The idea of what our guilt does to us is haunting (I know that’s a pun), and I pity Keith, and at the same time hate Jacob. The scene in the attic with Jane near the middle…that’s awful, I literally gasped out loud. A pretty in-depth mystery about more than just murder. I will pass this on. Good luck! :)
    – Maddie

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    Report user

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.