Human Trafficking, The Redribution More Images
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Rating: 2.8/5 (9 votes cast)

Human Trafficking, The Redribution

When pretty sisters Ivana & Irena, from Sokolov/Russia fall victims of human traffickers and their parents’ lives are threatened by an assassin sent by the traffickers, their simple small town lifestyle changes to desperation and nightmare with no hope of help until their long lost, EX-KGB brother Nikolai appears to their rescue accompanied by two mercenary friends…

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  1. Profile photo of Deziree@25
    Deziree@25 says
    March 25, 2017, 3:58 am
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    Hook needs to be little short at the same time more detailed. Its a good idea to have because its something that needs to be more aware of

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  2. hingylingy says
    December 26, 2013, 2:29 pm
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    Needs a lot of work
    much too long
    grammatical errors
    don’t describe us to death about unnecessary details like traffickers and assassins sent by traffickers, we get it..this is a widely used plot line.
    Dump the names as they are insignificant at this point and nobody cares
    don’t need a town name either as nobody cares
    shorten it
    make it concise
    spice it up with an original twist.

    good luck
    Jay

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  3. Profile photo of BVG59
    BVG59 says
    September 20, 2013, 1:03 am
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    Poor grammar. Should that word be “Retribution”? the phrase is “fall victim TO…” Not “of”. Run on sentences. Almost unreadable.

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  4. Profile photo of Les-Robertson
    August 31, 2013, 3:43 am
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    I’m very sorry, but as a logline I found this quite difficult to read. It feels like it needs a lot of cutting down and clarifying.
    Although I wasn’t as worried about the names as Michael Ford, I think a lot of his comments are spot on.
    Best of luck.

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  5. July 28, 2013, 5:15 am
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    This is very overused plot. There’s hundreds movies like that. It can work only if you have cool dialogues and some twist. And if Nikolai would be Scott Adkins. Your title is also too simple and standard.

    If you want to use authentic russian names, then it should be ‘Ivanna’ and ‘Ireena’. But Ivanna is very old-school name, nobody use it anymore. Sokolov sounds more like surname than city. KGB brother is not best idea if he’s positive character. This organization killed more people than all russian mafia combined. Better make him SWAT or cop. If you want KGB anyway – it’s called FSB now.

    And I hope you have explanation why these girls are so important that KGB and mafia would do a little war for them. Maybe they know something they shouldn’t?

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  6. Profile photo of TheElite09
    TheElite09 says
    July 22, 2013, 10:36 am
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    I like the premise, but this comes across more so as a synopsis than a logline.

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  7. aweiss says
    July 19, 2013, 6:07 pm
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    Good subject, I like a terrible situation told as fiction, when tragically, human trafficking goes on all the time, even in the US. I do hope this story has a feminist angle to it, because this is a feminist issue as much as anything. This might be a hard subject to sell, but find the right people, and the audience will be found for it.

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  8. Profile photo of
    says
    July 17, 2013, 8:01 pm
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    The logline is arduous but ultimately creates interest. The premise is a ‘maybe’ since it seems a bit used, most recently by the film ‘Taken’.

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  9. mdub says
    July 17, 2013, 2:49 pm
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    I love the idea, your longline in my opinion is way to long. Although it was one sentence it was way to long. 55 words I think ive been told to abide by a mysterious 27 word rule for loglines, maybe that will help.

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