Homunculus
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Rating: 3.3/5 (13 votes cast)

Homunculus

Northern Michigan erupts with blood and alchemy as a madman, in search of a healing elixir, inadvertently creates a vicious Homunculus monster using his own DNA, ultimately requiring the intervention of local Native spiritual wisdom to combat the twisted creature’s inventive ferocity, as it creates living abominations from the severed parts of its victims, like an unchecked animalistic Dr. Frankenstein.

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  1. February 28, 2013, 9:44 pm
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    Interesting but way too long. Keep it short.

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  2. November 9, 2012, 7:51 pm
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    The log line feels it is a little long, but I would love to see it! Is the script available to be read?

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    says
    September 16, 2012, 10:40 am
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    The story sounds like a Franenstein from hell scenario and could be quite a scary movie. But the hook is weak and the logline is overly wordy. The monster should be better described.

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  4. paul says
    September 4, 2012, 7:36 am
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    Wow, more than 60 words in a single sentence – makes it difficult to remember what’s been read. But the idea sounds fresh and interesting. Just shorten the logline or break it up.

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  5. s3gun says
    August 2, 2012, 5:17 pm
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    nice story, weak logline… thats all i got to say…

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    tserlin says
    June 21, 2012, 7:05 pm
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    Sounds cool – but logline is overly indulgent and can be trimmed to its essense. I would be interested in the script – but afraid that would be a deep read. Lighten this load — because the premise is very cool. Obvious you can form strong descriptive sentences. The script did well on all of those levels – which is amazing… Get your logline reading faster and it may help to sell it.

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  7. subsy1 says
    May 27, 2012, 7:55 pm
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    This could be a great story with the “homunculus” as the hero.
    The logline is long and confusing as people have said already. Also it’s difficult to see how “Native spiritual wisdom” would help to combat its “inventive ferocity”.

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  8. rickemg says
    May 27, 2012, 12:25 pm
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    This sounds like a good story that could possibly, with the right actors, be a block buster. Is this script available for a read?

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    jusork says
    May 26, 2012, 5:26 pm
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    Interesting, yes, but definitely too wordy. I don’t know what it is about writers’ love of unnecessary first lines, but you’ve got it. In fact, you could condense most of the first four lines into one: ‘A mad scientist must stop a vicious monster he created….’ and then describe the monster because that’s definitely your hook.

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  10. May 22, 2012, 12:27 pm

    Cool. yep, a more hardcore type frankenstien type flick. i like it.

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  11. austen says
    May 22, 2012, 8:00 am
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    “HOMUNCULUS” a screenplay by Austen Brauker

    “1st Place, Best Overall Script, All Categories” Los Angeles Movie Awards 2012
    “1st Place, Best of Category” Mountain Film Awards Screenplay Contest 2012
    “1st Place, Grand Prize, All categories” Oregon Film Festival 2011
    “1st Place, Best Horror Screenplay” Love Unlimited International Film Festival 2011
    “2nd Place, All Categories” Evolution International Film Festival 2012
    “Official Finalist” Honolulu Film Awards 2012
    “Official Finalist” Charleston International Film Festival 2012
    Currently: “Official Finalist” Beverly Hills International Film Festival 2012
    Currently: “Official Finalist” Visionfest Screenwriting Competition 2012

    “Official Finalist” Hollywood Screenplay Contest 2011
    “Official Finalist” Newport International Film Festival 2011
    “Official Finalist” STORY PROS Screenplay Contest 2011
    “Semi-finalist” PAGE Awards Screenplay Competition 2011
    “Fifth Round Winner” The Golden Brad Awards Movie Script Contest 2011

    “Honorable Mention” Chicago Screenwriters Network Contest 2011
    “Honorable mention” Great Lakes International Film Festival 2011
    “Best Fiction Writer Award” Dark Matter Magazine 2011

    “Honorable mention Award” for “Live Script Reading Performance” at Beyond Baroque Theater, Love Unlimited Film Festival, Venice Ca.

    Screenplay, “White Buffalo” picked up in 2011 for production by Wild Horse Films, through Inktip.
    Both “Homunculus” and “White Buffalo” have received positive coverage feedback from several sources.

    “11th place” 2011 Annual Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror Writing Competition. (Accepted for 2011 Anthology)

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  12. says
    May 15, 2012, 10:32 pm
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    Sounds like it could be interesting. Probably way too long. Yes, it’s possible to give a million elements in a single extremely long sentence, but I’ve already forgotten the first half as I struggle to absorb the second half.

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    ckmoak says
    May 8, 2012, 2:55 pm
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    It’s a good story but you might want to pick a different word…a homunculus is a very specific kind of monster that is made from specific ingredients. None of which are parts of its creator.

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    • austen says
      May 22, 2012, 7:58 am

      Research I have done suggests that sperm, fermented in a mixture of various ingredients for 49 days, is likely to have been an ingredient.

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  14. joyhorror says
    May 7, 2012, 1:41 pm
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    I think I would like to see a story about an unchecked Dr. Frankenstein like person.

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