HITLER’S ASTROLOGER More Images
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Rating: 3.6/5 (8 votes cast)

HITLER’S ASTROLOGER

A fabricated love affair within the Reichstag is accidently uncovered, exposing more than a Nazi department secretly using ancient texts and artifacts to master occult forces for weapons, but British spies tasked to eliminate Der Führer’s mystic adviser as well…!

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  1. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
    December 26, 2015, 9:37 am

    After two pages you have my attention. Nice!

    ——————————————

    BLACK SCREEN

    SHOUTS in German.

    FADE IN:

    EXT. DUTCH-GERMAN BORDER – SUNSET

    SUPER: “April 1940”

    It’s an ice cold day with heavy snowfall.

    In civilian clothes, CAPTAIN BEST PAYNE (26) and his SERGEANT lie face down – motionless semi-covered by snow and branches.

    CRUNCHING BOOTS, occasional SHOUTS in German ECHO in the distance.

    SERGEANT
    (whispering)
    Dogs!

    SHOUTS in German GROW LOUDER , faint BARKING of DOGS near.

    LOUD CRACK echoes throughtout the forest.

    1ST GERMAN SOLDIER (O.S.)
    Sie…Raus!…Raus!

    German soldiers surround the two prostrate men, weapons pointed. Two German shepherds bite, hold the leg of each man on the ground.

    Soldier stands directly over SERGEANT, bolts rifle. Smoke spews, empty shell catapults out of cartridge chamber. Dogs stop GROWLING.

    BETTINA (V.O.)
    More vodka, Herr Minister?

    ————————————————

    (1) Look up the difference between “off-screen” and a “voice over” in The Hollywood Standard.

    (2) It would even be better to put “SUNSET, NOON, EVENING (etc) in the narrative; only use DAY or NIGHT in your master header.

    (3) Cap the ‘sound’ and what’s ‘making the sound’. Sometimes CAP for emphasise, but use this technique sparsely

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  2. Flesh says
    December 26, 2015, 2:53 am
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    A different original screenplay: an astrologer versus the twist- of-fate against one tyrant plot to change world destiny!
    Fine adaptations always develop with “Final Draft” revisions.
    Those Hitler Youth have stories also. I wanted to know about these kids. Perhaps they are the real heroes? I haven’t seen a film with that aspect before this. Congratulations!

    I can’t wait for the update!! Keep writing!!

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  3. Profile photo of dicksuicide
    October 5, 2015, 5:12 pm
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    i like a hitlernything with

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  4. Profile photo of raydavenport
    January 1, 2015, 5:09 pm
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    Yeah it was alright but it’s based on another work, no best screenplay for original screenplay for you buddy. Good Luck!

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  5. September 30, 2014, 10:01 am
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    Hey David,

    Thanks for sharing your script with us. With all the historical basis and mysterious legends and enigmas of the past behind it, the story bring us a touch of “Da Vinci Code”, and with the chance of one the more hated men of History as its villain I see a huge potential here.

    But while Dan Brown’s international bestseller seems to have some inspiration in screenwriting techniques, Hitler’s Astrologer totally seems a novel trying to be presented in a screenplay format. Maybe I’m wrong, but I believe that the original writing was a novel. And converting a novel in a movie script is a hard task.

    There are a lot of technical aspects that need work:

    – Many dialogues (Cinema is a visual media, so more action and less talking)
    – Too many characters (it was impossible for me to track them)
    – Not clear main plot, goals and stakes
    – Is hard to discover, for uncountable pages, who is the main character (there are plenty of scenes without him, in a novel that’s ok, but in a movie the audience expects following someone)
    – Many length description blocks. Try to have four lines in each one, maximum, and one block for each “shot”
    – Etc…

    You have a lot of interesting research and a solid material here, but it has to be stick with the rules and standards of the screenplay industry. And, believe, doing that, you will see with your own eyes that, at the end, you will have a much better story, not just to the audience, or other screenwriters and industry readers/executives, but for yourself. I’m talking based on my own experience.

    My humble suggestion is: try to study more the aspects of a screenplay, read books about it (the “Save the Cat” one, helped me a lot), do a full rewrite based on it and get new reviews/criticism to rewrite again. Never forget that a screenwriter’s life is rewriting all the time. 😉

    I have a script that took more than 20 rewrites to be (perhaps) in shape. Then, don’t give up. You have a great concept here with a big potential to the big screen and I’d really love to see this script as a movie one day, then keep writing!

    Thanks again for the opportunity of reading Hitler’s Astrologer and commenting. Hope you find something useful in my suggestions.

    Best of the luck!

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    • September 30, 2014, 10:09 am

      Ah, almost forget. I think you could have a more appealing title. Something like “Hitler’s Prophet” or “Hitler’s Oracle”, I don’t know. Think about it. :)

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  6. Profile photo of leeoconnor
    leeoconnor says
    September 8, 2014, 2:22 pm
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    Hi David,

    I’ve only had the chance to read a few pages and I’m liking it so far, well written. There’s a few formatting issues but nothing major.
    I love astrology, so would love to read your novel, is it the same title?

    Lee

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    • astrodavid says
      September 8, 2014, 10:24 pm

      Lee,

      Appreciate your time in taking a look at the story, and yes, please, even the little formatting issues I would be grateful to be aware of. Everything about the book (and what is developing in the film) can be seen at: http://www.hitlerastrologer.com

      Thank-you again for your time…
      David

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  7. Profile photo of MoviemakerEli
    August 30, 2014, 8:56 pm
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    This film reads very well. If our prodco was seeking a period piece, this would be a consideration.

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    • astrodavid says
      September 2, 2014, 9:45 am

      Dear Moviemaker Eli,

      Thank-you for your kind comments, coming from one IN a production company it was quite inspiring. Please know you made my day…

      Sincerely,
      David

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  8. Profile photo of GBland77
    GBland77 says
    August 30, 2014, 8:41 pm

    To say this is good is not nearly enough. Well thought out and very well written!! I agree with TGVSpeed, this would require a special all star cast to pull off. The writing is too good to be left to novice actors. Well done indeed.

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    GBland77 says
    August 17, 2014, 9:06 pm
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    Being a history buff, I recall this story and applaud the writer on a job well done. The budget on something like this would be enormous but it’s a great story and a piece of history that cannot be ignored.

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    • astrodavid says
      September 2, 2014, 9:43 am

      Dear GBland, Thank-you for your comments, I am learning my way around this site (how to reply, how to read other’s work) and will certainly do so on yours. By the way, I posted your review on my website: http://www.hitlerastrologer.com and look forward to communicating with you more in the future. Good luck….!

      Sincerely,
      David

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  10. TGVSpeed says
    August 15, 2014, 6:29 pm
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    First, I would like to commend David on a job extremely well done. This script/story is well conceived and transported me back to a time that I am glad I wasn’t alive to witness. There were times I had to stop reading because of some of the harsh images, but all in all they absolutely belong and I wouldn’t dare edit them out.

    The characters are very well developed and in some measure it was almost like watching a film you would see on the History Channel. There have been multiple stories surrounding some of the wacky things the Nazi’s did with the belief they had the favor of God and/or fate, when in fact their cause was filled with hatred and unilateral bigotry.

    I am also impressed with how easy it is to read. I would love to read the novel/book to see how the adaptation translates. Having written adaptations of my own books I know how tedious and meticulous you have to be, and careful not to re-write the book as a film script. His use of imagery made it easy to visualize even small things like the German Shepherd’s, tree-lines and the loud Mercedes engines on the cars they drove. Overall I find this script to be worthy of a nod from Hollywood. A big one.

    If I was a betting man, which I am, I could easily see this film as a big budget studio film with an all-star cast. It is not at all a stretch to say this writer put his heart and soul into this work and I feel fortunate to have reviewed it well in advance of it showing at Cannes or Sundance.

    Well done, David. Well done.

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