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Going Ways

Six friends get together for a good time. One of them is the son of a CEO who invited a multifaceted, multipurpose vibrator with over 26 customizable speeds. They all try to have a decent conversation while Blake, the odd ball, always interjects with random, unrelated comments.

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  1. Profile photo of
    says
    October 14, 2014, 5:03 pm
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    At first glance, Going Ways looks like a stage play. The first two pages of character descriptions and attire is unnecessary for screenwriting. Other format issues can be addressed easily by referring to any of hundreds of books on screenwriting.

    The script also reads like a play. It is dialogue-heavy which sometimes works well on the page but falls flat on screen because there is no visual action complimenting it. A film script should contain only two elements: sight and sound. Both need to be balanced. Most of this script is set in static environments that are visually unexciting because the characters are just sitting there (i.e., car rides, hanging out at someone’s house, dinner table scenes, etc). I believe this funny story probably would work better on stage where the audience is more attuned to dialogue.

    A script should not contain camera shots (that’s what a director does with his DP) and character direction (that’s what a director does with his actors). Concentrate on story development and character first and foremost without also trying to do the director’s job.

    I’m not quite sure the venue you are writing for — feature, short film, TV? Going Ways has the potential to be developed for any of these forms. Consider your goal for this idea and go for it. It will take hard work. But, to quote that Elton John song you mentioned, “I guess that’s why they call it the blues.” Good luck!

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    • Theonedue says
      October 14, 2014, 9:34 pm

      beggmike- Thanks for the insightful reply. When I first submitted this to my producer she maid the exact same comment about it looking like a play, and then it literally was in play form! Since I am not a script writer, I am not too familiar with things, but I will take your advice for sure. I do have a lot to work on, but it is almost always trial and error when initially setting off into unchartered territory. I am glad you found it somewhat funny. Thanks again.

      Edouard

      P.S Elton John has some damn good tunes.

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  2. TGVSpeed says
    August 16, 2014, 6:04 pm
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    If you’re looking for a short to produce that is side-splitting funny, yet insightful, this is the one! I would have liked to continue reading on as this would make a terrific mid-level film to view just after or just before blockbuster season.

    While I am no casting director, this is a script that would be great to introduce new talent and could easily make stars. I have been writing a long time and cannot do comedy, so whenever I read something that’s funny like this I am always intrigued and impressed; mainly because the writer (in my view) was clearly not trying to be. The situations therein are hilarious and I have found myself in one or two of them.

    Technically speaking, the script needs a significant amount of formatting and editing, also, it might be useful to have someone edit for you, possibly another screenwriter, and obtain screenwriting software that would eliminate a number of issues.

    Overall, I like this script a lot!

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    • Theonedue says
      August 16, 2014, 8:36 pm

      Thanks TGV for the insightful reply. I’m glad you enjoyed reading it. Yes it is pretty short, but that can be a good thing as well. I am not really a screenplay writer. I got my B.A in music and have written two short comedy sketches for a workshop I was invited to by a producer (who decided my first one was worth producing). If you know any people that would like this script, please feel free to share it. Thanks again.

      Sincerely,

      Edouard Tahmizian
      (210) 823-2209

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